Grown man posting too many selfies

[Animatic]

I have recently met a man who seems quite intelligent and is good looking, very close to "full package". The only thing that makes me cringe is his habit of posting selfies on SM stories almost daily, sometimes even more than 1 a day. Normally it would be smth like photo of his face with a note saying "otw to get my coffee" or similar. The man in question is over 40 yrs old so definitely far from a 21 yrs old wannabe influencer.

AIBU thinking this is too cringe and a red flag in terms of trying to date ,etc?

Being insecure isn't a red flag though. Red flag is so overused on MN.

Well - you don’t like the selfies and think he might be showing off in an immature way. That’s not a basis for a happy relationship.

God people are so judgmental and pearl clutching about the way others behave on social media these days. It’s the acceptable channel for snobbery which isn’t tolerated elsewhere.

It’s a bit cringe but a “red flag”? Honestly some of you have led very sheltered lives if you think this is a red flag.

If he’s an otherwise good man I don’t see the problem. But it’s up to you whether you can tolerate it or not.

So he’s not like you, so that means he’s wrong?

The selfies aren't either here or there. Fair enough if it bothers you though.

The refusal to talk about past relationships , or lack of, and being evasive is a red flag.

Since you say you have a young child and can't afford to fuck about and find out (very sensible I might add) , it's best you throw this one back in the pond.

Who exactly would you report this to?
"Hi I'm dating a guy who's posting selfies on his SM! GET HIM!"

Wtf?

Report her boyfriend for posting selfies? Why and who to?

Is he posing and trying to look good? (That’s be a no from me) or just making his updates more personal? If he obviously wasn’t making an effort to always look good or show flattering shots of himself I’d be ok with it.

No it's a red flag and would be a complete turn off for me 😖

Otw is a red flag in itself

It’s not a red flag - as others have pointed out, the use of “red flag” for every minor imperfection means that it’s lost all meaning.

That said, I agree, it’s not attractive. It wouldn’t put me off if everything else was good and going well, and I do think this habit will probably die a death if it turns into a relationship.

Each to there own but the selfie thing is not for me
many people love posting them and that’s fine but it’s a bit shitty to get with some who does this then slag off for it because u don’t like it

Ether accept it or move on

If you don't like it then move on.
Just because someone gets older you think these things are wrong/inappropriate?
So it's only fine if you fall in a certain age/good looking bracket?
Wow so judgmental from everyone.
Id be looking harder at what he's not doing ie telling you his past

There’s a degree of narcissism in posting updates on every detail of your life / photos of your own face. I’d expect him to have his phone out in restaurants and constantly showing everyone every night out he’s on. I would find it unattractive, yes.

People are free to use their social media as they want.
You are free to find it offputting. Only you know if it's a relationship dealbreaker

MASSIVELY cringey!! That said...my fiance would occasionally do this on social media when I met him and sent me photos on whatsapp about what he was thinking/doing with a photo of his face, thankfully he stopped doing it, whether it was due to me not responding or becoming bored of it. I think it would depend on the amount of times it happens and for what reason?

Posting the face or mirror selfie with "hello weekend" , "on the way to the gym","weather sucks", "getting coffee" but not photos depicting the said weather or coffee, or whatever object is referenced.

I understand people post restaurants, foods, cats and travels ,and everything else you could think off. But here it is plain face or full lentgh mirror photo, nothing more but would have the hashtag of the place:D

Cringe, vanity is for women not men imo

The Salisbury, a predominately gay pub on St Martin's Lane, London - used to get called Sainsburys on account of all the well-packaged meat on display 😅

Oh god that is cringeworthy! And so egotistical to think anyone is interested in him enough to want to see it 😂
it would be a no from me, I’m not saying having an ego is necessarily a bad thing per se, I just would be dying of embarrassment to have a partner that did that!

However did we all survive in the old pre-internet days without having an easy way of knowing when our friends and family were going to make/buy a cup of coffee, hoover the living room or put the bins out?!

Does he actually have a willing audience for this?

Utterly cringe and embarrassing. No man, woman or person needs that much attention. Ever.

Sounds fun, but I'm not into gay men!

How are you not embarrassed by the optics that say ‘me, me, me, look at me!’? That why the op is questioning it. Normal grown adults - certainly people in their 40s - don’t feel the need to point cameras at themselves all the time.