A diagnosis one

[CarGoat]

Ok, I know diagnosis etc.. has been discussed to death on Mumsnet, but ...

Recently I have come to realise that in every single family I know (as in, families I'm friends with or know enough to have been to each others homes, kids have play dates etc...) there is a child with either an established diagnosis of ADHD or Autism, or there is a child undergoing assessment/on wait list for assessment.

The final realisation, (and I guess what prompted this thread) came when the mum of my child's best friend told me he has recently been diagnosed with autism. I have never seen any traits and had no idea. He's a lovely, well behaved kid, has loads of friends, interests, plays computer games with my DC, they hangout together, play games together, chat together,.do sport together. I understand there must be some difficulties his mum has observed which led to diagnosis etc.. it's just, he seems fine!

I then reflected on all DC's other mates and realised just how many either have a diagnosis of autism/ADHD or have siblings with this. My nephew is in the process of assessment for autism. My other nephew is also being considered for ADHD and has assessment coming up.

This is mad.

These children, while they may well meet criteria and I am not doubting that, they just don't seem much different to the average kid in terms of communication and behaviour etc... so all are relatively 'mild' in terms of presentation (i.e. autism is not of a level that's non verbal, the children have good peer relationships etc). I know people will tell me you don't thave levels like 'mild', but I'm not sure how else to explain it - just that the children all 'appear' perfectly fine. They just seem like normal, average, healthy children.

So ...

Is this just a quirk of where I live, in that in my village there just happen to be loads of children with ADHD and Autism, but this is not reflective of wider society?

Or

Is this reflective of wider society? Are the levels of diagnosis of these conditions now this prevalent?

And if the latter - shouldn't we make the criteria for diagnosis harder and just acknowledge that we are all a bit neurodiverse to some extent, and make adjustments to the schooling environment to account for that, rather than having to fund all these individual assessments and locate the problem in all these children?

I just think it's ridiculous to diagnose so so many children and if nearly every family has a family member with a diagnosis then surely the diagnoses are a bit redundant and meaningless?

(I know some people will not like this post, sorry. I am putting on my hard hat)

autism is a developmental disorder. I am autistic and I see what you are saying but the reason that it’s all under “autism” at the moment is because the condition is too complicated to create a number of different diagnoses. Children born in lockdown or who were supposed to be in school in lockdown suffered socially will have had their development stunted and/or created an anxiety disorder.
children who arent being parented properly or who have had to grow up on their phones and iPads will have had their development stunted.
I’m not denying that it’s impossible to get a diagnoses of autism if you don’t have it, but it’s not for you to say if someone has it or not.
the children you see may be masking and melting down at home. They may exhibit the behaviours you think is “real autism” in the privacy of their own home and they will probably be having issues with their mental health and sleep.
it may be costing them everything they have to act “normal”.
By a spectrum, it means that children can suffer with certain symptoms more or less than other symptoms. And autism presents differently in every child because every child will suffer with different things than others or to a lesser or more degree.
I hope you understand let me know if you have any questions

A parent who is also a teacher {Her husband is too} says money {DLA} and extra time in exams - These are the motivators for ''diagnosis seeking''.

I agree that there has been an absolute explosion in having some syndrome or another in recent years.

Probably driven by social media.

DLA for the most part, is hardly a motivator.

And is in fact, not based on diagnosis but on care needs.

I sought a diagnosis for my child because there was clearly something developmentally wrong.

Not only did the NHS agree, they dropped a bomb twice on me - one that she had a genetic disorder and that she had got it from me.

If anything, I don't think we diagnose autism enough.

Apparantly 1 in 100 DC have a diagnosis, and that figure probably serves as a better basis for discussion that 'almost every family I know'. I think its high enough that we do need a serious rethink of the education offer as PP said. But 1% is still not high enough to be claiming its the majority of children, or that we need to start some sort of gatekeeping the condition, as though its some sort of club thats reached capacity.

Yet more ignorance as you don’t need a diagnosis for DLA although you do need medical evidence (and despite what many people think, you can’t buy that) and whilst some conditions such as dyslexia can result in extra time for exams, schools will only warrant it if they deem necessary.

It's also possible that all these children are friends precisely because they all get on together and have more tolerance or understanding of each other's behaviours.

The parents of ND children are more likely to be friends with other parents of ND children and their children are more likely to be friends with each other.

This can create bubbles where it seems as though everyone you know in that circle has some sort of diagnosis. Maybe they do, sure, but there's also bubbles with a lower than average incidence of diagnoses.

18 of every 100 students in UK are reported with SEN, getting some sort of support. Now add the kids with no diagnosis & not getting support & not included in the 18%

At least 18% of children have SEN, number prob closer to 20-22% if include the undiagnosed

With numbers like that … it’s NORMAL, not at all unusual,
a blue moon is unusual and occurs once every 2-3 years.

Often it’s the very bright, high achieving kids who are ND, so don’t forget them …

It’s just like the diagnosis of dyslexia as far as your post seems to be saying what’s good for the child with the label is also good for every other child in the room.

I'm sorry, the only thing I am going to say is there is no such thing as mild Autism or ADHD. You are just describing that you experience their condition mildly.

I tend to agree with you OP and it’s a fair question to ask.

I have a diagnosis of ADD. Honestly, I don’t feel I am very much different from anyone else tbh. I sought a diagnosis for reasons to do with my employment. It’s made little difference to my life.

It can help in education to a point but other than a few minor reasonable adjustments tge benefits are limited.

Not every quirk of behaviour and personality requires a label but it seems that’s what people want.

Thank you. That's helpful.

One thing I struggle a bit with is the terminology. I'm aware that I can't use 'mild' and 'severe' but then I find it very difficult to differentiate between someone who is non verbal, stimms relatively constantly, cannot communicate their needs, lives in their own head and may also have co-morbid profound learning disability Vs someone who is able to hold down a job/go to school, is verbal, is able to mask etc..

Is there a terminology I can use? People have got upset with me saying 'appear fine'. But also I can't say 'mild' so I'm not sure what to say? Is there a proper terminology I can use to explain the difference. I'm not sure there is
Thanks for taking the time to post your last post and not attacking me.

Thanks. My original question was whether it's just a quirk of where I live that lots of children have these diagnosis, or is it a broader problem. You have answered the question. Thanks

They just seem like normal, average, healthy children.

thanks for calling me abnormal, weird, and diseased.

Thanks

I did not call you any of those things.

A simple google search would have saved families reading your judgemental comments on this lovely bright Sunday.

I am not a parent of a child with SEND but I do work with people (children and adults) who have various diagnoses and I am so sick of these threads. These people always existed, they just never had a diagnosis. They were labelled as <insert pejorative word here> and cast away from society.

Thanks. You said that way better than I could.

If you’re so bewildered that children ‘presenting’ as “normal, average, healthy” could be autistic then yes, you are saying that you believe autistic people are the opposite.

language matters. I’m autistic and I found your post offensive and ignorant.

Also, autism and/or ADHD aren’t diseases. What’s “healthy” got to do with it? Maybe inform yourself in a way other than “oh I’m just asking questions……” (faux naive look in your face).

The thing with 'mild' is that their condition appears mild TO YOU. When in actual fact it is likely to be anything but. We learn to mask to fit in, particularly girls. I prefer to use the term high masking rather than high functioning. I hope that explains it a little bit. It may also help to know that the autistic spectrum is not linear, and to think of it like a colour wheel, with all the traits on it.

One way is to say "lower support needs" and "higher support needs."

But also, ask yourself how you would differentiate between a neurotypical person with depression who has a profound learning disability, cannot communicate, cannot work and will always live in residential accomodation and a neurotypical person with depression who is able to hold down a job, go to school, is verbal, able to live independently etc.

They both have a condition (depression) but the reason the first person has high support needs isn't because they're further down the neurotypical spectrum or further down the depression spectrum, or because they have severe neurotypicalism or severe depression, it's because they have a learning disability.

I would say that having a diagnosis does give you some protection under the Equality Act which is helpful for work.

Ah, then your own mask slips.

Thank you. I should have used 'high functioning', can't believe I didn't think to just say that. Also, nice to hear of 'high masking' I will think to use that too.

Thanks for your helpful posts.

@ffsgloria @BigManLittleDignity thank you