A diagnosis one

[CarGoat]

Ok, I know diagnosis etc.. has been discussed to death on Mumsnet, but ...

Recently I have come to realise that in every single family I know (as in, families I'm friends with or know enough to have been to each others homes, kids have play dates etc...) there is a child with either an established diagnosis of ADHD or Autism, or there is a child undergoing assessment/on wait list for assessment.

The final realisation, (and I guess what prompted this thread) came when the mum of my child's best friend told me he has recently been diagnosed with autism. I have never seen any traits and had no idea. He's a lovely, well behaved kid, has loads of friends, interests, plays computer games with my DC, they hangout together, play games together, chat together,.do sport together. I understand there must be some difficulties his mum has observed which led to diagnosis etc.. it's just, he seems fine!

I then reflected on all DC's other mates and realised just how many either have a diagnosis of autism/ADHD or have siblings with this. My nephew is in the process of assessment for autism. My other nephew is also being considered for ADHD and has assessment coming up.

This is mad.

These children, while they may well meet criteria and I am not doubting that, they just don't seem much different to the average kid in terms of communication and behaviour etc... so all are relatively 'mild' in terms of presentation (i.e. autism is not of a level that's non verbal, the children have good peer relationships etc). I know people will tell me you don't thave levels like 'mild', but I'm not sure how else to explain it - just that the children all 'appear' perfectly fine. They just seem like normal, average, healthy children.

So ...

Is this just a quirk of where I live, in that in my village there just happen to be loads of children with ADHD and Autism, but this is not reflective of wider society?

Or

Is this reflective of wider society? Are the levels of diagnosis of these conditions now this prevalent?

And if the latter - shouldn't we make the criteria for diagnosis harder and just acknowledge that we are all a bit neurodiverse to some extent, and make adjustments to the schooling environment to account for that, rather than having to fund all these individual assessments and locate the problem in all these children?

I just think it's ridiculous to diagnose so so many children and if nearly every family has a family member with a diagnosis then surely the diagnoses are a bit redundant and meaningless?

(I know some people will not like this post, sorry. I am putting on my hard hat)

@foodforclouds before I google who that is, are you asking a serious question or not so much? I deal in literal, black and white and exhausted and cannot start a new google search unless it is a thing I need to search. I dont know who that is, sorry.

More traits are now included in the diagnosis criteria. Eg for Autism - sensory criteria are included. Years ago sensory traits were not listed on the ICD diagnosis scale.

I M O
these mutations have been there all the centuries …
children didn’t survive, or were taken care of at home, contributed as they could at home. Remember there was not “education” for all (excluding the disabled) until quite recently

There is no reason to think chromosomes were “ perfect” until 20th century.

sorry @Psychoticbreak - Jerry Cantrell is a singer/guitarist and he has a song called Psychotic Break, is why I asked.

Oh I see haha no no I changed my name when I had autistic and adhd burnout and it felt an apt name at the time. I dont know who that is however if you give me an hour it will be my newest mastermind subject cos I am nosy enough now to look him up :)

Hey, now you’re using caps? You had some negative things to say about caps when I used them!

Ha! If you like not too heavy metal, you’re in for a treat!

it would be awesome if the answer turns out to be yes as I’ve been searching for someone who won’t look at me as if I’m insane because my obsessions are usually bands/singers and then I won’t stop listening to them/talking about them 😂😂 (I’ve learned to stop talking…. Mostly)

Why do you people not like others asking questions? It is a talk/discussion forum. It is not up to you to mark something as ‘goads’. Why participate in a thread at all? I always notice the silencing of posters as soon as a discussion isn’t to their liking. It is so annoying; is everyone so sensitive? And what is the point of asking OP if this is their first thread when the site allows for name changes. I see this all the time.

I stay away from race threads because I can’t believe the stupidity in them by posters who are uninformed. You don’t have to participate in every threads especially ones which annoy you. There is so much policing on this gotdamn site.

Goardy

Where are you getting the 40% stat from? Is it a UK stat or one from the US? I'd be interested in sources.
Worth noting that the US is not remotely comparable to the UK in terms of their medical, education or food systems. Even look at the amount of preservatives and additives they're legally allowed to place in their foods vs the UK. I would not be comfortable taking a US statistic and extrapolating it over here.

Also worth noting (speaking to all on the thread, not you specifically) that the term "neurodivergent" includes much more than just ADHD and autism, it also covers dyslexia, dysplasia, dyscalcula, Tourettes and more.
Any statistic regarding neurodivergence will likely also be covering these conditions, it isn't just an indication of how many people are ADHD or autistic.

And to the poster who said something like "why can't we accept we are just all a bit neurodiverse?" you are right, actually, we are all neurodiverse, our brains are all unique and work differently, there is diversity.
BUT we are not all neurodivergent.

It's like saying "well there's a range of different reading abilities so dyslexia isn't really a thing".

We accept that dyslexic people's brains work differently and put in place supports like coloured paper/glasses, extra time etc.

I have a diagnosis and so does my DH and one of my kids and after much personal research I am very much on the side of ADHD as a social and cultural construct, rather than an individual pathology or genetic quirk.

It is fine to have this debate. Otherwise we follow a very deterministic medicalised model.

Well, it has taken me to page 15 before feeling a bit frustrated and letting that out! I haven't sworn yet 😉

thanks :)

🎃

You seem determined to be insulted.

You got me, it’s what I like to do with my sundays

So I've read all through the thread and yes you are being VVU

I have been autistic (and probably ADHD, I've just never been able to go through yet another extremely emotionally draining assessment) all my life, but I only joined the ranks of the officially diagnosed 8 years ago, after I realised while filling my son's forms in that I ticked all the boxes. Before then I was diagnosed as have social anxiety and clinical depression.

In the 45years before my diagnosis I had been described as "naughty" at school, as a loner, as weird, underachieving etc, etc, etc. I've struggled in social situations all my life.

I was targeted and in a severely abusive relationship for 13 years, did you know that autistic women are many times more likely to end up in an abusive relationship? Simply because we are autistic and don't really understand relationships and when they're toxic.

I self-medicated, just like many undiagnosed neurodivergent people. Stimulants would calm me down rather than give me a high, alcohol would help me relax and lose the extra work I do to think about every thing I say, because I don't have that filter between brain and mouth that most neurotypicals have. Even now I drink coffee to help me relax and calm down.

I'd never really been able to work, I struggle with the public, with loud noise, lots of people, changes in routine etc.

Getting my diagnosis wasn't an easy process. It is emotionally draining, I couldn't really function for 48hours after my assessment. But it was also, in a way, validating.

I'm now able to understand myself a little more, if I become overwhelmed I'm kinder to myself, allow myself to shut down rather than push through masking.

I've found a career (at the ripe old age of 52) that I love and is focused on my special interest. I'm self-employed, so I can factor in decompression time.

But I still get "you don't look autistic", what the fuck does autistic look like? I stim (some of my vocal stems are actually hilarious), I rock, I sit in the corner at social events, just watching.

I may be considered as "high functioning" or "low support needs" but autism affects every part of my life, it is who I am. And the diagnostic process certainly isn't box ticking or easy.

@firef1y just wanted to say thank you for sharing this.
So good to hear you've found your career that you love too ! That's fabulous.
My dd 14 stims but I didn't know that's what it was until we started to educate ourselves as much as we could .... it's a huge learning curve. Dds stimming is that she will talk to herself, out load and non stop (but only at home)
It soothes her and that's good .
Might try the coffee ... we've never allowed the dc Coke or caffeine but I think it may be worth a try thank you.

Uk Statistic. Work in this field with research. Too tired which why I haven't picked up my mistype. Apologies

Do you have a source?

I was diagnosed with autism a year ago. I'm in my mid 40s. I've had a horrible life, abused by my family, forced to leave home and homeless in hostels, abusive relationships. Bullied and ostracised my whole life, mainly by women I have to say. I told a therapist 'everyone hates me'. I felt so damaged. If I had been diagnosed at a younger age, would my life have been like this?
Having a diagnosis is for the whole of someone's life isn't it, so that children and young people will have the support growing up, and not have negative experiences.
To protect their mental health. Because my mental health is f*"cked believe me.

I don't find anything you say offensive. Because you are ignorant and talk about things you know nothing about.

I’ve just read a very interesting post on another thread about children with SEND:

I was talking to a grandmother last week about schooling. ‘I can see the difference’ she said. ‘When my children were young, primary school was relaxed. If the weather was good, they went outside and ran around. If they were sick, they stayed at home. Now with my grandchildren they are seated in desks for more of the day and if they are ill, they are worried that they’ll lose their 100% attendance for the term. The pressure is on to pass their phonics test when they are six and then to learn their times tables at speed by the time they are nine. They feel it and and their parents feel it too’.
There’s lots of talk about SEND (special educational needs and disabilities) at the moment, and how increasing numbers of children are being identified as SEND. It’s less common to ask questions about what SEND really means, and whether the education system creates more children ‘with SEND’ as it becomes more pressured and rigid.
For what SEND really means is that a child cannot learn in the way which mainstream education expects. They cannot keep up with expectations, either for academic work or for behaviour. SEND is something which happens in the interaction between a child and the education system. In a system where no 6-year-old is expected to sit still and learn to write their name, then a 6-year-old who just wants to run around outside isn't a problem. In a system where everyone is meant to be able to read by age 6, then they are.
We know from research that if a child is young in their year, they are more likely to be identified as ‘having SEND’. We know that summer born boys are far more likely to be identified as ‘having SEND’ than autumn born girls. We know that the impact of this immaturity resonates through the years, with the youngest in the year doing less well at GCSE. We know that the number of children ‘with SEND’ is going up year on year.
It's not really plausible that more children each year have difficulties in learning, nor that being born in August makes you more likely to have learning problems than if you are born a few weeks later in September.
It’s far more likely that in the push to ‘drive up standards’ the education system is becomes less, not more, suited to how children develop and learn. It’s more likely that the system is penalising immaturity – and children are inherently immature. That isn’t a lack or a defect, it’s a defining part of childhood.
As the education system becomes more rigid and pressured, we’d expect more children not to be able to manage without adaptations. This is exactly what we see. Those children are holding up the flag for all the others, saying that this system is not child-friendly and doesn’t take account of developmental needs and differences.
What if, instead of having higher expectations of the children, we had higher expectations of the education system? What if those expectations were of flexibility, reducing pressure and prioritising lifelong learning and wellbeing instead of short-term testing?
What if we saw the increasing number of children ‘with SEND’ as a sign that the system isn’t working for the many ways in which children develop, rather than a sign that more and more children have learning difficulties? We’ll never sort the ‘SEND crisis’ until we start looking at SEND as an interaction between children and the education system. The more rigid the system is, the more children it will fail

I believe it’s correct to reflect on a very results driven, rigid education system.

In all honesty, I never considered this to be the case and it’s quite shocking really, I am not saying it’s ALL because of the education system but it certainly doesn’t seem to be helping.

FYI, I have no skin in this game. I acknowledge I am lucky that I have a DC who the current system does work for

This, OP, is a considerate version of “just asking questions”