To have frugality fatigue. (Cost of living.)

[KnopkaPixie]

Just that really. To do so well with finances for nearly a month then get an unexpected expense out of left field, pretending that lentil dahl is absolutely delicious, to have signed up to do surveys on YouGov and the rest and have made sod all, can't work any more hours, can't cut costs any more, can't claim anything off the state and to be kicking myself for not saving more when I had the chance. Just a moan really.

I never wanted to be that kind of miserable gît that resents every penny or knows, "The cost of everything but the value of nothing" But that's the way the value brand cookie is not crumbling right now.

Perhaps a bit woo but sometimes I wonder whether a real poverty mindset becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and perhaps a more speculate to accumulate mentality might do me better? Not any manifesting flapdoodle but just an idle thought.

To everyone on this thread struggling, I am sorry.

To the posters thinking that this thread is about dhal - I'm speechless.

I agree. Many people are finding this, even those on higher incomes. Op:"but I look at every recipe now and think about how I can pare it down to the barest edible minimum." Just stop and think about how that can be right. The misery, the miserableness of having to think that way. How have we ever allowed it to come to this? So wrong.

Agreed!

Yes, but then you pay £9 a month rather then £3. Been there, done that!

How have we come to this? Simply put, it's housing costs. The average family spend so much putting a roof over their heads that there's little left for anything else.

Me too. The surveys are mind numbing and sometimes I just can’t be bothered with them but I trudge along because one day (in the far distant future) I’ll get the £50 cash option.

I’ve just worked out that I don’t need to touch my bank account (and no DDs coming out) for a whole five days and that’s the highlight of my week.

After living in Brittany 20yrs+ I know people who live that kind of lifestyle but in real life its bloody hard and expensive ! Where she lives is a very cheap part of Brittany houses can be picked up very cheaply as no body wants to live there! Once the rose tinted glasses come off living there is very different, yes she maybe able to cook her casserole 9 hours on the wood burner but many hours of chopping staking and finally getting it the house hopefully without gale force /rain winds lashing down on you.

The cost of food is expensive you have to travel miles to get a decent Supermarket and forget about those wonderful Markets I couldn't afford to buy anything from them. I think she teaches from home so that they can get in healthcare system our insurance was 140 euro a month and didn't include everything. Its very hard to get a job if you can its factory work or you have to start your own business and be taxed to hell.

I have been back now for 18months I did love my time there but it isn't quite so rosy as people make out. The ones who say they would never come back to UK are the ones who cant afford too.

Hi op, it's bloody exhausting. I've not read every reply, but yes, I agree, it can be a bit of a mindset.
I found Denise Duffield Thomas really helpful manybyears ago, and I often go back to her videos when money is feeling particularly low/tight. Loads of people.are going to think she is woo woo. But anything is worth a go.

To the ladies with physical or mental illness on here I’m sorry I forgot your usernames but I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that on top of everything else.

No, no, no. Food banks never bin these things. They are extras. People tick which basics they need and then we let them know what extras we have and they can choose a few of those if they want them. I gave a load of Thai spices to a chef who was unemployed due to MH problems and he was way happier with those than the basics.

Adding a stock cube and using a tin of coconut milk in the dhal can really make it quite tasty.

OP I think what can help is trying to think of ways you can improve your situation. As weird as it is these days you can do the strangest things and make spare cash. I have a friend who loves music and used to be a DJ, he plays old songs on tiktok and ppl follow and comment. He makes on avg £150 per month from it. Though one month he made £450 bcoz the song went viral. This constant counting pennies is very depressing and I get where you are coming from. I had quit my job last year and only found a new one this year and as a family we really felt the pinch. Now that I am back to full time work we are definitely more comfortable and I don’t worry about money as much. I am also thinking of ways to start a passive income stream. I love cooking so I might do something with that. Maybe meals on a budget! 😝

It really is tiring, I sympathise. Just want to recommend the Olio app for food. When I was out of a job, I used it for a few months (I did collections as well) and it saved us a lot of money. Basically, it's all the surplus food from supermarkets, including meats and fish.

From. What. Money?

I was thinking this too. You are a brilliant writer OP. There is money to be made from this. Order some copywriting technique books from the library and study the wording on successful written ads. Then offer to write web-copy for local small businesses. You could start at a cut price rate of £25ph to build your CV and work up to £35-50ph depending on size of business. WFH at weekends. It's not regular work, but it's a better sideline than YouGov and other endless surveys.

But it does help massively I work from ft and get a bit of UC, child benefit, Scottish child payment. It all tots up so nearly £800 a month. In many ways I’m better off than before my divorce when there was two of us especially as he brought in more money than me but then would spend without discussion so constantly struggling to pay normal bills.

I can’t afford holidays, takeaways or cinema trips but I can heat the house buy decent food, mainly cook from scratch. Kids do, cheap activities, I don’t feel like I’m impoverished the way other people talk about.

Lentil dhal is absolutely delicious if cooked properly. You must be a terrible cook!

Spices aren't as expensive as you think they are., especially not bought in tiny jars from Tesco. Perhaps pay a visit to an Asian immigrant home to see how they cook when rhey arrive in a country with nothing and no access to benefits or knowledge of food banks.

I am really fed up with S Asian cuisines being characterised as only for bougie influencers like Jack Monroe . Shows a deep ignorance of history and culture.

They're not bougie. They're additional costs and yes they're pennies but what do you spend your £1.65 (pot of Tesco own brand oregano) on, oregano or a bag of potatoes? I know where my £1.65 is going.

But not everyone has access to or the means to get to cheaper retailers. If you live in a small town without a supermarket and you are limited to using the corner shop, it doesn't matter how cheap spices are elsewhere.

Oh, and the bland dhal is not the bloody point of the thread!

I always have a bag of frozen spinach in the freezer. It’s cheap and lasts for ages without worrying about it going off. I add it to home made curries, soups, omelettes etc for a vitamin boost.

I’ve had times when I felt physically sick with worry walking round the supermarket when I had so little money. I find things like loose carrots (very cheap), potatoes and chicken thighs (cheaper than breast) can be stretched into a number of good meals. Red lentils and tinned cannellini beans (you can get for 50p a tin) bulk up a stew.

Baked potatoes with beans (don’t have to be branded) and cheese (I know that can be expensive but if you grate your own and freeze it that extends its life) is filling.

Home made Chinese curry is literally just curry powder and water (and a stock cube). It can be a veg curry (cheap carrot and potato) maybe add one shredded chicken thigh and that can stretch it further. Unbranded rice can be pretty cheap (52p for a kilo in Tesco).

I know how mentally exhausting it can be but I used to get a certain amount of satisfaction in making decent meals with minimum money, which helped my state of mind.

I'm lucky, I have a small garden which I have got a herb bed going in. Maybe food banks could look at finding ways to dish out "kitchen herb" plant pots with instructions on how to look after them. Lots of edible things can be grown indoors but people do not have the initial funds for the outlay of pots, soil and seeds.

I was very poor for a very long time. I can remember my last whole pair of leggings going through on the crotch and despairing because I couldn't afford the £3.99 for a new pair (it was a very long time ago!)

Stupid People kept bleating on about 'what fun' it was to go bargain-hunting in charity shops or jumble sales. Well, maybe it was for people who didn't have to rely on those places for their clothes. It absolutely wasn't fucking fun for me, it was miserable. Oh and the classic 'How to save money' articles- stop buying a takeout coffee every day, stop your magazine subscriptions, take a packed lunch instead of buying lunch out every day etc. Wankers,

Those people who are chirping about dhal being delicious or 'just adding' coconut milk or spices just don't get it. Very often you just don't have the extra quid or couple of quid for those things. (and frankly, if I had the extra quid or two, I probably wouldn't spend it on dhal ingredients anyway).

I hope things improve for you soon OP. I do agree with PPs about your writing style though- I love 'distressful upsetment' particularly.

Well this shouldn't derail into a cooking cheaply thread because that's not what OP wants, so I apologise for my part in that. I had to say it though because I see it on here all the time: this notion that eating veggie will kill you or is expensive or incredibly tough.