dd messing around in class

[FlakySwan]

dd1 is 14 and now is in the end of year 8 (year 9 in the UK) at school. In the parents teacher conference, some of her teachers have reflected to me that her attentiveness in class can be improved.

I have talked to dd1 about this, and she told me that since at her school the year 7s and year 8s use the same textbook and are accessed on the same things, just at different levels, she already knew everything from last year for some lessons, so she just joins in the classmates who are messing around (quietly).

I feel conflicted about this as I value a good attitude in class and to learning, but I also see little harm in her not paying attention as long as she is on top of things and does not disrupt class.

She's encouraging and validating others that aren't at the same level and is also avoiding any extension work of her own - as well as undermining the teacher.

There are more useful ways for her to behave in class than that.

Of course she should stop messing around. It's not ok.
And ask the teacher to provide your daughter with work matching her level.

I have asked the teachers if this is possible, but they all said that if would be best for dd to follow along in the lessons as she will be taking the same exams.

Then the teacher shouldn’t be surprised that she’s messing around. She’s bored and no one, even the most intelligent adults, can tolerate boredom for long.

And then your daughter does this.
I would ask again after a few weeks if I knew my kid was above level. Just make sure she is. Often pupils think they are but aren't.

Hmm.

There are some subjects where there is a textbook for all of year 7,8 and 9 however the classes would usually move through it not cover the same material.

Equally, there are some subjects where the same topics are covered but in more depth - for example year 7 might do adding and subtracting fractions while year 8 might have a lesson reminding them of how to add and subtract fractions before moving on to multiplying.

I'd want to be VERY sure that she does actually understand the topic in class- so is she getting top marks on all in class assessments for example?

More often students use this as an excuse to mess around - oh it's only fractions I know all of this - and then they can't do their homework because actually it is new material.

We are in Australia so we don't have in class assessments, at least not in middle school (7-9), but she gets top marks for her homework. I am sure she actually does understand the topic in class as she could do them last year already following the textbook when she got bored of classwork.

This is what I meant

Boredom doesn't mean you get to disrupt other people trying to learn. That's very selfish.

Boredom doesn't mean you get to disrupt other people trying to learn. That's very selfish.

This. I was bored in school, i didn't join in the naughty kids misbehaving.

"So she just joins in classmates who are messing around (quietly)"

It won't be as quiet as she thinks. I'm sorry, but this type of messing around is the kind of behaviour that makes it very difficult for my autistic son to concentrate.

Newsflash: teens mess about when bored.

Yes she needs telling to behave - she could read quietly if the lessons are crap - but the underlying issue is that she isn't being asked to do anything meaningful. They should be setting her appropriate tasks.

I think you need to consider moving her to a better school. Leaving a child bored isn't an acceptable solution.

Newsflash: teens mess about when bored.

I found school very boring, because I found it very easy - similar to OP's DD I guess. I didn't mess about. Lessons aren't that long.

Yes the teacher could set some different work. But the fact that hasn't happened doesn't mean it's ok to piss about.

But what about the other kids she's disrupting the class for? Do they understand everything - or have the smart arses and refusers made it impossible for them to learn?

According to dd, they weren't loud at all - they all went to the corner and sat down on the floor of the classroom and snap their friends together, no noises or chattering can be heard in the seats.

Surely not. This is outrageous behaviour.

So she’s left her seat and is messing around on her phone. That’s dreadful behaviour. Reading a book quietly sitting in her seat is one thing but walking off is something else. If you agree she knows it all and is bored can you find a better school if the current one won’t stretch her?

I must have misunderstood because ours would have detentions for behaviour like that.

That’s appalling behaviour. If my DC did this in any class they’d have severe consequences - no phone, no xbox, whatever. It is totally unacceptable for any child to be disrupting others in class; it’s the first thing I ask about my DC’s behaviour at parent’s evening. If your DD is beyond the work being set and the teacher can’t help, give her a book to read or maths homework.

In a couple of years if she fails her exams or gets low grades I bet you'll blame the school & not the factvthat your child mucked around in class & didn't pay attention, disrupting theirs & others education.

All these basic concepts, theories & skills are the foundations of what they will go on to learn in subsequent years.... or not if they muck around now.

Parents who don't see how their children's behaviour & attitude now affects them for years are putting their head in the sans for an easy life.

She needs to learn that she can't have everything her way. Sometimes she has to suck it up and do what is required.

I think I would be telling her this is not acceptable and it has to change. There won't be any consequences right now, but there will be if things don't improve.

It's hard enough for teachers to teach, but having a group sitting in the floor messing with their phones will be distracting some of the other kids who do need to go over it again. It's unfair on them.

If it's maths, then surely the whole point is that she does the same things but at different levels.
Kids read books at 5 and at 18. They write at 5 and 18. Every kid I teach must therefore have the right to go and 'mess about quietly' in the corner. 😄

Your daughter is outrageously rude, not just inattentive.

When your kid is a dick in class (and very often the behaviour you are told about is not as bad as is actually happening) it is your job to back the school not make excuses for your child. She's now going to know she's untouchable and you've given the green light to behave even more inappropriately.

I don't work in a zero tolerance school and I'm quite tolerant of fidgeting etc.
But getting out of seats, going into a corner AND playing on phones in year 9? At the age of 13/14? Nope. Wouldn't happen. Or if it did there would be very serious consequences. This is not acceptable behaviour in school - whatever your DD says this would be dreadfully distracting.

You can't possibly think it's OK to do that in class. Surely? How distracting for the other students!