dd messing around in class

[FlakySwan]

dd1 is 14 and now is in the end of year 8 (year 9 in the UK) at school. In the parents teacher conference, some of her teachers have reflected to me that her attentiveness in class can be improved.

I have talked to dd1 about this, and she told me that since at her school the year 7s and year 8s use the same textbook and are accessed on the same things, just at different levels, she already knew everything from last year for some lessons, so she just joins in the classmates who are messing around (quietly).

I feel conflicted about this as I value a good attitude in class and to learning, but I also see little harm in her not paying attention as long as she is on top of things and does not disrupt class.

Is this a joke? Your DD sounds like a right little madam! Getting up and going to sit in the corner to play on her phone? Did she give the teacher the middle finger beforehand too? She might as well have!

Either the school is crap - but if so, why don’t all the children behave like her? 🤔 - or she’s not as smart as she thinks she is. What’s to stop her exploring the topic in greater depth if she really does know the work? I got bored in my French classes because I knew the work, so I used to either read ahead in the text book or, more often, read additional French books in class. What I didn’t do is sit in the corner playing on my phone like an infant.

There’s nothing to stop her doing her own extra Maths or whatever off her own back. There’s nothing to stop her staying in her seat and reading a book quietly until they get to a bit of work she doesn’t know.

You should be backing up the school not giving your DD the impression she can do as she likes.

This isn't just messing around though is it? It's disrespectful to the teacher and the other DC.

If she's bored and the school cannot give her more challenging work (which I doubt) then she just has to repeat what she knows to embed it. Or at least stay in her seat and be quiet whilst others do the work.

I really struggled with maths at school compared to others in my group. I ploughed on with the same things over and over again. The ones that were better at it did more of often the same work and they were quiet. She could do that.

"According to dd, they weren't loud at all - they all went to the corner and sat down on the floor of the classroom and snap their friends together, no noises or chattering can be heard in the seats"

Your daughter is pulling a fast one here. Of course they could be heard!

I have some sympathy if she is genuinely finding the work too easy, but I really think you are minimizing the impact she is having on others. This isn't OK.

Most children get bored in school during some lessons. All levels of ability are capable of getting bored and mucking around. Being bright doesn’t make your daughter’s behaviour any better. It is a shame that they aren’t providing some extra challenge but that doesn’t mean inappropriate behaviour is ok.

I'm a teacher - I sometimes get parents telling me their child finds the work easy and they need more challenge, but I'm afraid they are often wrong. As a PP said, students can think they get it but you can see from their work that they don't - they rush it, they make mistakes, they have misconceptions. So I would just take what your daughter is saying with a pinch of salt.

https://amp.abc.net.au/article/104218850#NT

This doesn’t make sense. Phones are banned (by law) in my state for all schools, I did a quick search and no state or territory is allowing phones in a classroom. Where are you located?

Am I reading this correctly? A group of students have decided that they know all they need to know on a topic so have left their seats, gone to a corner of a classroom and are using Snapchat on their phones (allegedly in complete silence) during a lesson? And the teachers consider this to be "inattentiveness" rather than downright outrageous behaviour? Baffling.

Does she understand it? It would be good for her to revise it if she genuinely does. What is not acceptable is for her to muck around. It's her fault she skipped ahead

That's massive disruption.

being bored does not give anyone an excuse to piss about

The teachers should be teaching her at her level so she can progress, not telling her to follow along on things she already knows. It is exactly this attitude that she needs to be a nice good girl and sit there bored out of her mind that will stunt her academic growth and destroy any love of academic pursuits. I would be kicking up a fuss at the school. Why can’t she go to the higher year class for this subject? Why can’t the teacher set work for what appears to be a group of more advanced students?

Such a good idea to punish a girl for being intelligent and hardworking. That will certainly teach her to know her place.

This can happen, but isn’t usually a case if your DC is getting the top score in the class on all the exams and coursework.

It isn't okay or fair for your daughter to be using her phone in class and messing about with her friends when other children and listening and trying to do the work. Even if there is no noise, it just isn't fair, and surely you can't expect the teacher to just let this happen?? If you don't tell your DD off, she'll just get into more trouble with other teachers like her head of year.

They can be as silent as they like, but other kids will know they're doing this. How confident do they have to be to be allowed to ignore the lesson? Who decides? Are you sure your daughter's friends also already know everything?

Back the school up fully on the behaviour - she needs to stay in her seat. However, if she is really so bored by the lessons, and they don't provide any extension work, ask about the possibility of her taking a book to read when she has completed tasks or when what is being explained is something she already understands.

she told me that since at her school the year 7s and year 8s use the same textbook and are accessed on the same things, just at different levels, she already knew everything from last year for some lessons, so she just joins in the classmates who are messing around (quietly
I'd check that with all the teachers if I were you. It sounds like an excuse for messing around.

This is the same as:"But we did this shakespeare play in primary school, Miss. They fall in love then die". Right, that's nice. So write me a grade 9 essay on it and we'll talk.

My dd is currently doing fractions in yr8. She's done fractions since yr 4 or 5. Doesn't mean she's mastered them yet.

I'd bet good money on the fact that your foul little madame is not half as clever as she thinks she is.

If a student is acing the course then any teacher worth their salt (obviously I don't know anything about this one) should already be pushing them. So either the teacher isn't pushing them enough, or the student has misunderstood their own ability and the teacher is pitching it correctly. My own experience is that I know my students very well, constantly check their learning (asking qus, checking classwork etc.) so the latter is more common!

@Howaboutacuppafortwo
You sound like an excellent teacher. The OP’s DD would be lucky to have you for a teacher.

DD1 is the same age and has been mildly mucking about in lessons (just low level stupidity) - if she gets detentions for it - it's her own stupid fault and she knows I'm going to back up the school and she's just got to suffer through them. I think it's peak pre-teen stupidity age as well - the idea of consequences in terms of GCSEs and future options are far away from them, the idea of "big exams" in terms of Y6 SATs are far in the past and they just don't see it yet.

I do think the school's expectations in terms of things like homework can be on the low side at times and that DD is coasting a little bit at times, but I've no doubt it's going to be ramped up as time goes on.

If my daughter had done that I would have very angry and told her to say sorry to the teacher. It's not okay.