To confess this and ask for help

[imanidiot222]

Hey guys,

Hoping to get some perspective here. First of all I know I made a really poor decision and I'm ashamed of it.

Yesterday I got back from a holiday abroad and I met a guy there. We hit it off from the first day and ended up sleeping together. He has a girlfriend. We still continue to spend the week together and had sex multiples times, went for dinner etc.

He said he had never intended to meet someone and catch feelings or cheat on his girlfriend but there was just a connection between us. I also hate that I went with someone knowing they had a girlfriend. I had the most amazing time with him but he said that he can only contact me in the days when he's at work.

I'm sat here tonight feeling super low. Ashamed, guilty, but mainly just missing him and wanting to speak to him even though he's a cheat! And I'm not any better! That paired with the crushing holiday blues and knowing we won't see each other again just feels a lot.

Any advice or words of wisdom without being too harsh, please?

Eugh.

There's no happy ending to this.

See it how it is - a holiday fling. He's gone back to his normal life now, you need to do the same. Block and move on.

Block his number and forget about him, book yourself a trip to the STI clinic and hope you didn’t bring any “souvenirs” home with you

Holiday fling. Think fondly of it and cut contact

He said he had never intended to meet someone and catch feelings or cheat on his girlfriend but there was just a connection between us

So I assume he's broken up with her now he has feelings for you

Stick Netflix on and watch a few episodes of Benidorm with Mateo ‘catching feelings’ for every woman that graces the solana. It’ll bring you back down to earth with a giggle.

Nothing good will come of pining after this man as it’s likely he’s moved on to the next ‘tourist’. Perhaps have a quick health check if the sex was unprotected.

Having been cheated on and the bimbo knowing he was married with 4 kids makes me hate people like you !!! Its wrong and you should be deeply ashamed. How wud u feel !

My best advice would be to call it a misadventure and move on. Get tested, definitely, you really don't know where it's been.

That's it blame the OW not the man 🙄😴
OP has already stated how bad she feels.

Bimbo? 😬
Welcome to Mumsnet OP, you are going to get absolutely slaughtered here.

Of course it will be all your own fault, nowt to do with the partnered up male wanting to get his Dick wet.
I Never is 🤨

Get your hard hat on.

Sorry op, sounds like he was after a holiday fling and now he's back to reality, has zero plans to leave his partner

Best to cut ties and start getting over him x

Even if you “win” him, what’s the prize here? You will be sitting at home while he’s off lining up the next one. Block and move on.

Don't message him again, block his number and move on OP, it won't be easy to move on but don't drag it out by messaging him. He enjoyed his holiday fling and gone back to his real life, you need to do the same

Read a book on increasing your self esteem. Get checked out for STDs. Forget about him.

He never intended to cheat ???? Bullshit

Get yourself checked, just in case.

Enjoy the memories.

IF he was single when you met him, could it have worked out? Is it feasible? If the answer is "no" then move on and don't contact him. If the answer is "maybe" then still move on and don't contact him, but leave the door open in case he does decide to become single.

But then, could you ever trust him?

Have happy memories of your holiday fling, we've all had them.
Then forget, block and move on, he's a cheater and not relationship material

Even if he were single, holiday romances seldom work out in "real life". You know being his bit-on-the-side-when-there's-time isn't an option, if you're honest.

Guilt and shame are pointless emotions. Put them behind you, and concentrate on finding a relationship that can work, if romance is what you want.

JFC. Have you ever read any of the threads on MN about women who have been cheated on?

What a nasty piece of work.

Yuck.

The only connection you had was your fanny to his cock I'm sorry to say.

This is going nowhere.

Save what's left of your self esteem and block him.

You were a holiday fling.

This point here is exactly what I came to say.

You know the saying "once a cheat, always a..."

“Catch feelings” 🙄🙄🥱

Forgive yourself.. and also remember he's probably done this many many times before. what country was it, as rhe chances are he has learned exactly what to say to get you into bed ...and you need to be a little less naieve.
He can only call you in the week... u do know what that's about dont you....?
It's a holiday fling.. you donr know him.
You will be fine .

Don't flatter yourself.
He's a cheat and if it hadn't been you, it'd have been some other gullible fool.

It was only amazing because it wasn't reality. Swanning about in beautiful places, eating and drinking in lovely restaurants, have sex whenever you want.

Back to reality. People have jobs to go to. Cleaning, washing up, laundry to do. Sat in traffic jams.

If you were actually to have a relationship with this person it would be nothing like it was. Plus, you know he's a cheat.

Park it as a holiday fling and move on.