To confess this and ask for help

[imanidiot222]

Hey guys,

Hoping to get some perspective here. First of all I know I made a really poor decision and I'm ashamed of it.

Yesterday I got back from a holiday abroad and I met a guy there. We hit it off from the first day and ended up sleeping together. He has a girlfriend. We still continue to spend the week together and had sex multiples times, went for dinner etc.

He said he had never intended to meet someone and catch feelings or cheat on his girlfriend but there was just a connection between us. I also hate that I went with someone knowing they had a girlfriend. I had the most amazing time with him but he said that he can only contact me in the days when he's at work.

I'm sat here tonight feeling super low. Ashamed, guilty, but mainly just missing him and wanting to speak to him even though he's a cheat! And I'm not any better! That paired with the crushing holiday blues and knowing we won't see each other again just feels a lot.

Any advice or words of wisdom without being too harsh, please?

She can hate both of them.

He is a cheater. He will cheat again. Make sure he doesn’t get the chance to cheat on you.

He has been very clear that it was just a fling but unfortunately you developed feelings for him. Best block him now and start the recovery process.

You need to cut contact and work on your self esteem. There's a part of you that wants to believe he never intended to cheat but there's something so special about you that he couldn't help himself, he's lying. He went to cheat, he never intended to leave his partner and would hate for her to find out which is why he can only contact you when she isn't around. He is deleting your messages and pretending you don't exist.

Yeah but the lions share is with him

There is no point saying you made a poor decision and are ashamed of it, at the same time as planning to continue the 'fling' by calling him at work. If you genuinely feel remorseful, have nothing more to do with him.

She didn’t say it wasn’t.

Sorry this is harsh, but have some self respect he's in a relationship and keeping you on the side you will never be a priority to him and he probably won't break up with his girlfriend

Go and have another coffee.

“Catch feelings” is one of those naff social media generation phrases decided to absolve the user of responsibility. “It wasn’t my fault; I didn’t mean to do it; I couldn’t help it - I caught feelings!”

You catch a cold, not feelings. The only feelings he had were in his crotch. Move on and make a promise to yourself to not fall for such flannel again.

You need to think of him as part of the holiday. Over now. The environment and opportunity out there made this far better than it would be in every day life when he's just another dime a dozen guy who you'd not be able to trust as far as you could throw.
Youll do yourself no favours hanging on with your finger tips to some crumbs now. He'll get fed up as he settles back to his every day and will contact you less and less, so you'll need to accept that at some point. Why prolong the misery?
You probably also need to work a bit on the value you place on yourself. What on earth possessed you to allow yourself to be some chancers holiday shag? Mate. C'mon.

I’m good thanks.