9 year old served ‘birthday drinks’ at sleepover

[Calpi]

My daughter recently attended a birthday sleepover. The girls are 9 years old which I thought was slightly on the young side so I was a little hesitant but agreed.

I have just seen some pictures and I really am not happy. The girls were given ‘birthday drinks’. They were only squash and obviously no alcohol was used but they were served in actual plastic flutes. The drink was bright pink with fizzy sweets in the glass but I’m not happy.

The mum in question parents very differently. Her 9 year old gets bought VERY expensive skincare products. And her daughter acts like a
full on teen - we’re talking crop tops, Stanley cups, skincare, TikTok dances, eyeshadow etc. I have been in the girl’s bedroom and she has a dressing table completely covered in drunk elephant etc. The mum is into that overconsumption stuff she sees online. Fine, parent how you want but I want my daughter to have a childhood and to not be adultified.

AIBU in thinking this was massively inappropriate? Why couldn’t they have just made milkshakes or smoothies? Or an ice cream sundae?

😀

Mine loved having Shirley Temples in restaurants!
My sister and I loved having fizzy grape juice in flutes and toasting with the grown ups!

@MrsMurphyIWish it's cold enough to be winter, so I think you should treat yourself to the winter warmer!

Except its not alcohol. Its a soft drink. Christ, unclench a bit, you'll give yourself constipation.

Jeez. In the 80s my mum used to buy me those chalky stick sweets in the football packets and I used to pretend to smoke a cig like her!
I’m fairly sure squash in a champagne flute for one night isn’t going to cause alcoholism. Chill. You don’t have to let her use expensive make up, do tik tok etc at your house all the time, it’s a one off. Let her experience how other kids play- as long as it’s harmless, which this is. I’m sure when the other girl comes to play at yours she’ll enjoy doing things completely differently too.

If you knew the mum was as you have described WHY did you send your nine year old daughter to be in her care overnight? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Omg!! Do your kids never role play at doing anything grown ups do! Jeez I let my 8 year old order actual mocktails from restaurant menus. Maybe I've turned him into a juiceaholic!

I get where you're coming from, OP. Many of my parent friends are anxious not to bring their children up to be mindless consumers of the latest tat/ social media trends. They want their children to grow up with different values and they definitely want their children to be allowed to be children for as long as possible.

I don't think any of them would have issues with squash being served in a flute but several would have conniptions about the sugar and UPF issues.

Basically, you're hanging out with the wrong tribe. You need to look around for the families who don't allow their children to have phones and carefully manage internet access. There will be some, but they may not be easy to spot so you're going to have to work out where those kind of people hang out and track them down.

In the meantime, you can talk to your child about how silly, sexist and wasteful a life obsessed with 'stuff' is. Good luck.

This place gets weirder by the day 🤦‍♀️😂

OP...stop being so melodramatic ffs!! 🤦‍♀️

Christ! I thought the kids were drinking vodka, but no ... it was juice.
In the nicest possible way OP... get a grip, and have a Cosmopolitan while you're at it 🤣🍸🍹

I was making 'cocktails' by mixing different colour panda pops, syrups and cordials in the 1990 at 3 years old... my mam (who loved science and taught me fun lessons from my earliest memories) used it as a learning tool on things like colour combining and liquid mixing properties.

How up tight do you have to be to sap fun out of something so basic and joyful OP.

You might hate you child having any fun but that says more about you than anyone else and does not paint you well at all.

sounds nice you need a cocktail to be fair! What an absolute over reaction to something so minor

This.

Nah you are overreacting. I don’t drink alcohol and I enjoy ‘fancy’ drinks for special occasions. Like party food, cake or presents, nice/different drinks in nice cups is just part of that. It’s to make it special

Why are soft drinks in flutes not OK but ice cream sundaes are OK?

You need to unclench or your DC will learn not to tell you anything in case you overreact.

When I was about 11on New Years Evev my Aunt gave me a small glass of Babycham which I liked and for the rest of her life, another 35 years, she couldn't understand why I didn't drink Babycham every New Years Eve.

Pluvia · Today 11:27
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I get where you're coming from, OP. Many of my parent friends are anxious not to bring their children up to be mindless consumers of the latest tat/ social media trends. They want their children to grow up with different values and they definitely want their children to be allowed to be children for as long as possible.
I don't think any of them would have issues with squash being served in a flute but several would have conniptions about the sugar and UPF issues.
Basically, you're hanging out with the wrong tribe. You need to look around for the families who don't allow their children to have phones and carefully manage internet access. There will be some, but they may not be easy to spot so you're going to have to work out where those kind of people hang out and track them down.
In the meantime, you can talk to your child about how silly, sexist and wasteful a life obsessed with 'stuff' is. Good luck.”

You’ve missed out the bit about OP’s turned needing to allow their 9 year olds “sips of” wine, too. Or is that no worse than squash in a pretty glass?

You say that...

They weren’t glamorising alcohol they were having soft drinks in fancy glasses.

That is the exact opposite of glamorising alcohol - glamorising non-alcoholic drinks.

Children love fancy glasses and parasols and cherries on sticks. It makes it all feel an occasion.

If you want to get all judgemental about the mother, pick a different thing to get narked about. This one won’t fly.

you have an issue with soft drink in flutes but let your daughter try wine??? 🤯

Tribe, not turned.

Your kid will be drinking vodka in the park and hiding any risky behaviour from you op if you carry on being this dramatic.
Allowing her to sip your wine to demystify alcohol but objecting to a mocktail has to be one of the most batshit crazy things I've read on here

Did you never wear your mum's high heels? Or try her lipstick? Or pretend to be an adult?

You are overthinking this.

In the tiny minority OP but totally on your side. And would also have not liked how other child is brought up with the crop tops, make up
etc at that age.
The amount of 10ish year old girls I have seen at work off on a holiday with lash extensions, fake nails , fake tan is a sight to behold. Mums usually look the same, their mini me's in tow.
Am no teetotal at all but it is scary how normalized drinking soft drinks treated as "fun pretend alcohol " is. Or indeed drinks e.g alcopops, meaning to
look fun and sweet like , def aimed at the younger market who don't start off on fine wines etc.
Of course mother loves to treat her mini me with the make up purchases, crop tops.
Imaging them getting ready , sipping bubbly + pretend bubbly et al
By all means get a nice moisturizer but no 9 year old needs a full on make up collection imo.
Vaping has now been made to
look fashionable and unharmful, all of them looking sweet , candy coloured. Kids ( and adults ) sucking away like it's a dummy/bottle.
I recall chewing-gum "cigarettes" back in my youth, so you could pretend to be like all the others smoking around the kids at home in 70's /80's.
Of course we too were given apple
juice etc in brandy glasses to feel
" grown up ".
Getting ready for the real thing.
1000% feel
like OP and scary to read in the 3% minority on here.

I was fully expecting to be horrified by the kids being served actual alcohol. I’m disappointed.