How should I reply to this message?

[Autumn1000]

Need some advice. Me and this guy matched on Tinder. We work together. We don't work directly with each other every day but we have to discuss things now and then.
We have been chatting a bit and he's just replied in his message with this:

"I’m not sure why i swiped as I don’t think a work relationship is a good idea!! you are cute though 😊"

I'm neurodiverse so can't work out if he's feeling out what I'm going to say back or if he's trying to let me down gently and doesn't actually think it's a good idea. Don't people meet at work all the time?
Or should I just agree and suggest being friends?

I'd ignore it. Send nothing back.

Yes people meet through work and form relationships
However, Tinder is for hook ups, not dating.
Don't poop on your own doorstep.

Think I’d ignore - he’s saying sorry I swiped as we are work colleagues . End of

He's letting you down gently. I don't think you need to reply at all. X

He wants more but is testing the waters. Making sure you know he is a work colleague (which clearly you do). I would go for it if you like him. His emoji says he's well up for it.

He's not sure himself. He's just thinking out loud. It doesn't require a response.

No response required. He has left the ball in his own court.

I'd just reply with the thumbs up emoji and leave it at that.

Either ignore or say ‘fair enough! And thanks! Take care’

I don't know 🙈 I'm so confused.

He’s probably right, to be honest. It has the potential to get very messy if things go south.

I’d advise you not to reply. Or reply with something like ‘Yes, that’s sensible. Friendly colleagues it is then 🙂’

You haven't even been on a date yet and he's messing you about with self-indulgent, ambiguous messages. Forget him and move on.

I'd let this go OP, and not bother following it up. He obviously fancies you but has perhaps been burned by a work place relationship before, and is now having second thoughts as to whether it's worth risking the chaos it can cause if things go wrong. You are right, lots of people meet their partner/spouse at work, but also a lot of these type of relationships go wrong, leading to one or other of the people involved, having to change job, because it turns nasty when they realise that things aren't working out. This is why many company's specify in your contract that work relationships are not allowed. Never worth it in my opinion.

Hmm I'm not 100 percent sure, do you both ever meet outside of work? Could it be that he is suggesting you do more things outside of work and just keep work as just work. Either way it sounds like he likes you as he put a smiley face, even if it just turns out to be friendship.

This. "Yes that sounds sensible 👍 "

No we don't. I haven't been at my work place for that long

I think that if you wanted to sleep with him, you almost definitely could. There’s a definite invitation to reply with a flirty comment. But he’s making it very clear that you will not be his girlfriend and that the two of you will not be in a relationship. And you won’t have any room to complain because he’s told you he doesn’t believe in work place relationships.

If he wanted something more than a casual bunk up, he wouldn’t be playing mind games and you wouldn’t be wondering where you stood or what he means.

I’d send a mini thumbs up.

Ok maybe you both need to do more outside of work hours, nothing big start small, go somewhere to eat together or suggest it. Maybe he is worried that he is only seeing you at work, at work you are limited in what you can do together, you are not getting to know each other properly because of work and that could be the issue.

what are you on about?

We haven't even really spoke at work. I'd say not even more then 10 sentences 😂

What I am saying is it sounds like most of their interactions are at work only, they need to get to know each other more outside of work hours, they met on tinder so probably just need to bond more without the pressure of work.

He could mean a couple of things (as you can see from your replies and how different people have taken it!)

Your response I guess depends on if you are interested? I would maybe go with a 'you're probably right' if you want to stop the convo and save face or a 'Ohh, have you had some bad experiences?' if you want to try continue the convo/find out what he actually means.

He's letting down gently.

Don't ignore if you work with him, just politely say 'no worries, thanks for letting me know'.

He's after sex but doesn't want to make it complicated by having sex with someone at his work.

I'd ignore and not reply.