How should I reply to this message?

[Autumn1000]

Need some advice. Me and this guy matched on Tinder. We work together. We don't work directly with each other every day but we have to discuss things now and then.
We have been chatting a bit and he's just replied in his message with this:

"I’m not sure why i swiped as I don’t think a work relationship is a good idea!! you are cute though 😊"

I'm neurodiverse so can't work out if he's feeling out what I'm going to say back or if he's trying to let me down gently and doesn't actually think it's a good idea. Don't people meet at work all the time?
Or should I just agree and suggest being friends?

Ok what about outside of work? Do you both interact a lot together in person? Am I wrong in saying you mostly see each other at work only? Do you work together online or actually work in the same building as each other. Or have all interactions been online only? Sorry just trying to make sense of things.

We have never met outside of work. We work on the same site. He's in a different building. We have spoken in person maybe like 3 times and all other times have been via email but all been professional

I'd also just do a thumbs up to the message. He can then reply/not reply.

This. I don't understand all the angst. He's clearly saying you're cute but it's a no go. Nothing more, nothing less. Just thumbs up him and carry on as normal if you see him. The ball is then in his court

Then no, see it as a no-go.
You don't need to get back to him.
Tinder is for hookups not relationships (not to say it doesn't happen but best to go with the majority when you are unsure. So tinder=sex)

Relationships at work get very tricky. But as you are new I would say don't look at pursuing any romantic relationships in the workplace for at least 8months.
That way you're outside of your probationary period and you've had time to find your footing and work friends etc.

I’d not bother replying to that either.

however I don’t agree tinder is just for hook ups. I met my dh on tinder. My friend met her partner on tinder. Maybe it’s different in our age rage ( late 40’s) but I’d been on 6 dates before I met my dh and every one of those men wanted a relationship .

Yea I agree. I think some are there just for a hook up. But some aren't. I don't think he's there just for hook ups from his profile

Should I just say yea probably a good idea, no harm in being friends?

IMO the perfect reply is "haha thanks".

Normally i'm all for "if in doubt don't reply" but if you want to be cordial at work you don't want to look like you're hurt or sulking.

It is 100% legit for him to not want to meet someone at work. Work relationships do happen but they're very marmite. I wouldn't want it either.

Just say to him "Happy to keep it at friends if it's too weird for you"

This is how I would interpret it too.

I can’t tell if you like him, do you? Start with how you feel & what you’d like from this.

I rekon he only swiped to see if you did.

I do like him and really fancy him

Haha I kind of swiped to see if he did too

I'd say "your probably right " and leave it at that. See if he responds

I think it’s this too.. he wants to sleep with you but has the prefect ‘get out’ of not dating/ considering a relationship as he’s been up front about his stance on workplace relationships.

He wants you to respond that you’re up for a no strings attached hook-up.

Just ignore it surely. He's not interested, his reason is valid.

I consider anyone saying to ignore him to be rude. I don't understand the modern rush to block, ghost or ignore. What's the harm in at least acknowledging such a message with an "OK, thanks, bye"? Or if you're interested, as you seem to be, with " That's a pity".

I would put back. I was kinda thinking the same. PS: I think you're cute too :)

then leave the ball in his court.

If you fancy him, why give up so easily? I would have ask what he meant by that. Perhaps he is gauging your thoughts on this matter and hoping to talk about the 'elephant in the room', rather than ignoring it. I don't see anything wrong with it.

It's a dating app...

What @Whothefuckdoesthat said.

I would defo respond in some way if you choose not to say that, perhaps a thumbs up as someone suggested - because I wouldn't want him giving me a secret smile in work if he thought I may be considering it and people asking wtf.... Or have him wondering if I received his message or not.

It's just good to communicate and shut this down.

I think he likes you but thinks a relationship with someone at work isn't a good idea in case it doesn't work out.

He’s letting you down gently but still hoping for a quick shag