How should I reply to this message?

[Autumn1000]

Need some advice. Me and this guy matched on Tinder. We work together. We don't work directly with each other every day but we have to discuss things now and then.
We have been chatting a bit and he's just replied in his message with this:

"I’m not sure why i swiped as I don’t think a work relationship is a good idea!! you are cute though 😊"

I'm neurodiverse so can't work out if he's feeling out what I'm going to say back or if he's trying to let me down gently and doesn't actually think it's a good idea. Don't people meet at work all the time?
Or should I just agree and suggest being friends?

I have a suspicion you already know you’re not going to shut this down and walk away. I hope it doesn’t ruin your job for you.

My job means alot to me. I'm not going to make a decision that will ruin that for me

Ignore

Or block

There was nothing ambiguous about his message, he was letting her down gently

He is being honest. He might fancy you but he knows its not a good idea. Although I met my partner at work we really liked each other for a long time, 6 years, before we admitted our feelings to each other because we knew it would devastate us to see each other every day if we broke up. We were colleagues, then aquitances, then friends, they became my team leader, then best friends. You both would have to be willing to leave your job if it doesn't work, but also if it does work.
Best response you can give is the honest one of.." I agree that it probably is best that we don't take it further whilst we work around each other
. It is a pity though."

I'd reply fair enough, probably wise. Take care.

I agree with this.

Did you both know in those 6 years that you liked each other and we either one of you with anyone?
It's good that it worked out. Tbh I'm not planning on being at this job long term. It's a bit far for me to travel but it's good experience for what I want to do next

To me he’s testing the waters to see if you are up for it. But depending on how I felt I would say one of the following. I wouldn’t ignore because that’s rude especially when u will see him.

haha that’s true, no harm in two colleagues having a cheeky drink 😉

or
haha that’s true, shame I think you are cute too 😊

If you fancy him, say "sorry to hear that, let me know if you change your mind and fancy a drink one night after work". If you don't fancy him, send him the thumbs up emoji 👍

Just say, OK, no worries. Good luck in finding what you are looking for on here!’ He might well try and back pedal and tell you something along the lines of, ‘but…but….we can have some fun instead?’ 🤣. He’s basically telling you he’s not after a relationship, but these people are so predictable. If he tries to back pedal after you’ve wished him luck, then if you want fun go for it, but if you want a relationship, tell him you’re not looking for the same thing and move on.

Bloody hell, he really isn’t!

Most of my friends met their husbands at work, I don’t see how this is any diff to a dating site. As least you know he’s single (as much as you can know!)

This is a good reply

I’d reply, “maybe you’re right.” Nothing else. If he’s joking or was only showing he’s a bit cautious, he’ll reply. If he thinks you’re in agreement he won’t. Either way, your response wouldn’t reveal your own thoughts or hopes.

Tinder just not for hook ups, I met my now dp on it 8 years ago, own a house and have a two year old.

A friend was adamant that she would never date anyone from her organisation although she did meet a lot of men through job. She started online dating and almost immediately met someone from work. They've been together for ten years now.

Because heaven forbid two adults have an honest conversation!

He swiped right without looking at the ops profile. Swipe swipe swipe swipe... Men do this all the time! Indiscriminate swiping without looking to see if anything lands.

Now he has matched with you he's thought shit. Rather than just unmatch you without saying anything (which would be rude to a colleague he knows but would do normally) he's made up an excuse. Because he doesn't fancy you.

Unmatch him op. He doesn't like you

That's not true though. Tinder is for many different things. Lots of people meet their partner on Tinder. It may be for hook ups for you, but not everyone.

She was with her boyfriend when we met, and after she got to know mem she broke up with her boyfriend because she felt more for me than she did for her boyfriend. I didn't know this at the time of course but I have to be honest and say I hoped and dreamed it was.
We both hoped and saw signs that both of us liked each other, but in my case I thought that I was over-reading those signs and trying to make something of nothing. I am "slightly" autistic and so found it difficult to know for certain that she wanted a long term relationship with me. When I asked her if she knew, that I lked her, she said that again, she thought and hoped so but was not at all certain. She like me was intraverted and had doubts.

I also was travelling 50 minutes each way to work but I really never minded, because I got to see her every mon-friday.

That's a really sweet story, do you work together now?

don’t Respond
i predict he will then start chasing you, which won’t help your situation but at least you’ll have your dignity

I know a small bit of background on this guy. His ex also works at our place and they have a child together. I don't know if they get along or why they split. I know they split a while ago though. I don't think they have to see each other at work though (it's a very large company). So when he says I don't think a work relationship is good, I can see this is probably why.

No. He's had a work relationship before - if he fancied you he'd go for it.

But he doesn't fancy you. It was an accidental swipe