40 years ago parents didn't stay with unwell babies?

[UndertheCedartree]

Am I right in thinking that 40 years ago if a baby was taken to the big city hospital (from being born at the local town hospital i.e critically ill/likely to die) that the parents and definitely the dad did not go with them?

I broke my femur when I was 2. Was in hospital with my leg in traction for god knows how long. Mum came during visiting hours, apparently.

The hospitals didn't allow you to visit other than the allotted time

I had my tonsils removed early 60's and only saw my parents during the allotted hour. My dad was so upset about it he wanted me to come home for the weekend. I think he thought I wasn't going to make it. I was 3.1/2 and yes I do remember it. My bed was next but one to the end wall. Birmingham Children's Hospital

I had my appendix out about 35 years ago. My mother was allowed to come for visiting times, but not permitted to stay overnight.

There was an Indian child at the end of the ward (traditional long ward) and his family never left his side. I recall it being seen as very peculiar at the time and my mother muttering that it was the slippery slope to parents doing the job of nurses if everyone behaved like that.

Things were so different then. I had a tiny baby who would not feed and no support once I was home. Babies were only taking to the ward for feeding so mothers could rest.
Babies were put in their own room from birth and fed every 4 hours. Now he would be fed every hour I guess. The one time I fed him in hospital he kept falling his sleep and the nurse kept flicking hard on his heel.

I don’t think that was the case.

Fucking hell. That's cold. 😟

I stayed with mine 41 years ago. Dad wasn't on the scene

Thank you I will message you.

Exactly the same I felt abandoned as a newborn.

My mum was too scared to go and my dad didn't want to go as they thought I was going to die so he didn't want to get attached.

No one stayed in with me when I was 1 (slightly more than 40 years ago).

I had the same op a few years later and no options for parents to stay. I vividly remember refusing to let them stick something in my eye and them leaving it, then when my parents left, the matron came and bollocked me and said if I didn't have it done they'd have to call my parents back and tell them how naughty I'd been and how cross they would be,

I was v upset but let them do test. Fortunately I'd forgotten my teddy, and my Dad realised and came back a few hours later with it. I was still v upset and told him why. He had words with me there and matron apologised to me.

I think they visited a few times but it was quite a distance. I was in for 2 weeks.

2011 my son was just about to turn 3 needed an operation to fix his busted elbow.
I was given the option to stay or go home, of course I chose to stay but the staff were very put out (he wasnt admitted to ward until 10:30pm maybe that didnt help) made clear they preferred parents to go home! There were 8 children on the ward and only one other parent stayed. I was given a camp bed no blanket or anything. Although it was July I remember it being bloody freezing in there! 🤣
Visiting hours were still really limited in our local hospital then as well so I had to leave the ward outside of visiting hours and meal times.

I had my adenoids out in 1976 and my parents weren't allowed to stay, and only allowed to visit during visiting hours. I don't think my father actually came at all, and I know my mother wasn't there when I was taken down to theatre for the op...wasn't there when I woke up, either.

I was born by caesarean in the 70s - my mum stayed in hospital for over a week recovering and said all the babies were taken away at night and mums just got to sleep through. In some ways I can see this would be great for physical recovery but I can’t imagine being parted from my newborn like that.

I had a squint correction in 1988/9 and remember my mum visiting afterwards rather than being there the whole time.

My sister had a major operation when she was about 8 (late 1970s) and was also generally in and out of hospital on a regular basis. My mum could only visit her during visiting hours. Two buses in each direction every single day, except when the minister of her church gave her a lift. She said he drove like a maniac😆 We were left with various neighbours and I hated it and only really understand how hard it must have been with hindsight. I don't remember my dad visiting her, but he probably did. She loved being in hospital!

No anaesthetics for babies? That's awful!

And me too, I'd want to be with my baby.

My son has been in hospital for almost 8 months. You’d have no job left if you tried getting 8+ months off.

45 years ago, my 10-month old DS1 was hospitalised with D&V. I stayed with him for 4 days, and basically saved a nurse the job of tending him - bathing, feeding, observing, in the isolation room. I slept in a reclining chair. Then 40 years ago, DD, aged 2, developed a serious eye infection, and I stayed with her for 4 days also, in a bed beside her hitched up to tubes and drips. Every time my DS2 was admitted with a life-threatening asthma attack, I stayed.

I was in hospital for a week aged 5, (mid 80’s)I can still remember crying myself to sleep at night missing my parents, feeling completely alone. They came at visiting time only, that was just the way it was back then.
I couldn’t imagine doing that now if my kids were in hospital.

I was in hospital for several times for several weeks in the 70s aged 4-6. Mothers could stay with babies/toddlers in the side rooms. Visiting hours were twice a day but, like a PP said, it was actually quite fun. There was a dining area at one end of the ward, where everyone ate together, a teacher who did schoolwork with us in the mornings and an occupational therapist who did craft activities and organised games with us, and they got one of the older kids to read everyone a bedtime story. The nurses let us dress up in nurses costumes and “help them” ie follow them around and get us to talk or play with children who were bed bound 😂

In some ways, maybe it was less scary as it was like being at school and having fun with lots of kids. They were pretty lax about letting parents stay longer to settle a child if they were upset or wait until they slept after evening visiting time. Evening visiting went on until bedtime, although older kids could go to the TV room or playroom if they wanted to stay up later.

This happened to my close friend in 1982 and she gave birth in a local community hospital and several days in, the Mother and baby were transferred to York Hospital due to the babies declining health.

Dad was allowed to visit but only during visiting hours until they felt the baby didn't have long left and then he was called to be with his wife and child.

I have severe trauma from being separated from my mum as a newborn so I can't really agree.

How times have changed.

There’s a school room and teachers at the hospital my son is in but I believe it is only for children who’ve been in hospital for months.

They also have scouts in that room every Monday and cooking/baking every Tuesday.

Yes, I would always be with my children.

No, they are not always fine, I wasn't.