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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for my child to be put in a different taxi

187 replies

Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:09

My 11 year old ds goes to a sen school, mainly the needs of the children are semh -he had autism and adhd.
he loves school. Feels safe, everything there is good.
however, my son has been out in a taxi with 3 other children from the same school who are older than him (they are year 9) and this past week he has been threatened with being strangled, put in a headlock, had his phone taken and they kept calling me telling me "I'm f**king your son" "we're beating you're son up"
and today came home with a pumpkin he'd carved at school smashed up and the other child had thrown it at him, put his phone inside it, put pumpkin bits all in his hair and over his clothes.

No way is he getting in that taxi tomorrow, and I have emailed the council transport team and tried to contact the school but waiting on a call back.

AIBU do insist that this transport isn't appropriate or safe and they he's given alternative transport ? I know the la are going to be hard to convince because it will cost
more money, but he can hardly be expected to be subjected to this every day

OP posts:
WombatStewForTea · 24/10/2024 16:10

Wow is there no escort in the taxi? I'd be demanding that at the least!

YellowphantGrey · 24/10/2024 16:10

What's the chaperone in the taxi doing while all this happening?

What have the school said?

Original poster
Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:12

There isn't a chaperone in the taxi, just the taxi driver
not sure what the school will say, I've left a message for the head and waiting for her to phone back

OP posts:
x2boys · 24/10/2024 16:12

Does he have a PA?
My son goes to a special school, and transport can be a nightmare for various reasons
Personally w would call a meeting with school and transport and see if this can be resolved

YellowphantGrey · 24/10/2024 16:15

Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:12

There isn't a chaperone in the taxi, just the taxi driver
not sure what the school will say, I've left a message for the head and waiting for her to phone back

Why is there no chaperone? That would be my first question.

I'd be surprised if they agreed to a seperate taxi for one child.

Could you do the school run yourself till it's sorted?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 24/10/2024 16:16

He has been assaulted so you would be within your rights to report it to the police. Also if the council have arranged the transport they may have duty of care to your son that he is transported in a safe way.

Geneticsbunny · 24/10/2024 16:17

That is shocking. I can't believe there is no chaperone. I am surprised the taxi driver is still happy to take the other boys if they are causing trouble. He may be happy to kick them off the taxi run

Original poster
Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:17

They wouldn't be able to have a chaperone as there is already 4 children in the taxi there's no space
i know another boy will only sit in the front of the taxi because he doesn't want to be near the other two as well

OP posts:
Gettingannoyednow · 24/10/2024 16:18

Report to the police.

Original poster
Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:19

I can't do the school run myself as the school isn't close and I dont drive and have another ds who starts school the same time, otherwise I would. I'm not sure what I'm going to do in the meantime because I can't leave him in that taxi without things being sorted, he will probably just have to stay home tomorrow

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 24/10/2024 16:20

Report it to the police. Particularly the “I’m fucking your son” they WILL listen and they WILL help.

HoHoHoliday · 24/10/2024 16:21

Rather than request a separate taxi for your son I'd pursue it more as bullying/attack from the other boy(s) and get the school to deal with them. Your son should not have to endure that behaviour but it's them who need different arrangements not him.

Emschels · 24/10/2024 16:21

I work in an SEN school in SW London and my advice would be to contact your child’s form tutor and the safeguarding lead also, as the head teacher would more than likely pass this on to them to action and support you with - and your son can also get more support on site.

I’m also shocked that there’s no chaperone with that ratio of children but as a previous poster said it’s unlikely they would do 1:1 transport (we’ve only ever achieved it a handful of times as a school and that’s through endless chasing, phone calls and support from our DSL)

Are you in London? My school takes in a lot of pupils from Surrey, Wandsworth, Kingston, Richmond and Hounslow etc and I’d say Hounslow and Wandsworth are the absolute worst for dealing with transport issues!!

I hope your son is okay x

itsgettingweird · 24/10/2024 16:22

Wow - the children who are behaving appallingly should be removed from the transport.

I get send but what they are doing is bullying and that's not on.

I'm so sorry your ds is suffering that trauma.

YellowphantGrey · 24/10/2024 16:22

Chaperones are usually put in if a child has medical needs or needs extra support due to their high needs.

Can you also get the taxi driver to support what's happened? He can't be thrilled with all this happening whilst he is driving.

Did you get a photo of how your child.arrived home and his pumpkin.

Go to the school in person if they've not replied by tomorrow or phone them.

Ohthatsabitshit · 24/10/2024 16:26

He’s been assaulted had possessions taken and soiled been threatened with violence and sexual assault…he doesn’t get back in the taxi and you call the police. Do NOT underestimate what this could and may already have escalated to. Do NOT rely on school to sort it out.

Garedenhelp · 24/10/2024 16:32

Yes ask, my son has SEN school transport run by the council via a private taxi firm (also no chaperone). I spoke to the taxi driver as my son was the first pick up, he said to call his boss(he already had told his boss). Taxi boss had already reported to the council, council then phoned me and sorted a separate taxi within 2 days.

I feel bad I let my son be subjected to low level bullying for too long, I was surprised how helpful the council were.

The school in my case had no say in transport.

Alltheyearround · 24/10/2024 16:45

Report to LA, school and transport company. This is a safeguarding issue.We had similar. Assistant sits between DS and girl who caused trouble. She sprayed deoderant in his eyes etc. I took it very seriously.

MiraculousLadybug · 24/10/2024 16:48

Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:17

They wouldn't be able to have a chaperone as there is already 4 children in the taxi there's no space
i know another boy will only sit in the front of the taxi because he doesn't want to be near the other two as well

Then if they refuse to send a separate taxi, they need to send a bigger vehicle, e.g. a 7 seater, so the chaperone can fit. Nearly every taxi company has at least one 7 seater and they usually cost the same as a 5 seater.

Doyouknowdanieltiger · 24/10/2024 16:54

Hope your DS is ok, that's absolutely disgusting behavior.

I'd report it to the police. I reported another child throwing a water bottle at my child's (also ASD) head, I would definitely report in your situation.

5475878237NC · 24/10/2024 16:56

Report the assault to the police. This is horrendous.

Ivehearditbothways · 24/10/2024 17:00

What the hell is the driver doing? My kids get taxis to school and after the first incident, the driver would have spoken with the school and the taxi office would have reported badly of the council and then refused to drive those kids until the council agreed to contact a second taxi. They’re really hot on safety of the kids in the car as well as the safety of the driver being able to do the run without distraction and worry like that.

No33 · 24/10/2024 17:02

No chaperone is a safeguarding issue. For pupils and the driver.

This whole set up is unacceptable.

Contact school, lea transport and at least threaten police.

I hope he's okay.

Todaywasbetter · 24/10/2024 17:08

Definitely should be a chaperone the driver can’t be expected to manage behaviour of children who are already have behaviour difficulty

Daisymay6 · 24/10/2024 17:10

Not uncommon unfortunately
My son had the same age 11
Taxi driver was actively encouraging the fighting
No chaperone because they like to squash as many kids in as possible

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