to feel like I'm in prison?

[TheSunflower5927]

I 36 and I hate working. I've tried changing jobs multiple times but I dont get the enthusiasm other people have. Work full time. All my friends and family dislike their jobs too. The only people that seem to like their jobs are at work. Full time working just takes up so much time the weekend seems too short.

If I didnt work could happily fill my time with fun things to do that arent work

Working full time feels like a prison sentence. Dont know how I can go another 30 or so years it feels like I've got 30 years of my sentence left.

I there is something of the ‘toxic positivity’ around working these days, in the sense of you have to ‘love’ your job. It’s great if you do. But it can be a means to an end too. I don’t remember there being so much navel gazing a few decades ago. You just got on with it. It’s when you hate your job then it becomes an issue.

OP, you sound really stuck. Are you able to disclose anything about your job as some people here might have constructive suggestions for you?

I've always tried to find jobs where I work really long days on a few days of the week but then have 2 off.

I like my job

Can you retrain or do compressed hours? Eg 3 12 hour days or 4 10 hour days? A few I know do this. I do the former. I love my job as it is rewarding (hospital).

One thing to think of is even though we work lots of hours in general, we get everything provided for us eg water, gas etc, yes we pay for it but if it weren't for this system we live in eg living in a field we would have to source our own food, materials etc. Because we work we can get others to do all this and have leisure time.

I have 5 DC so have never really had time to myself and work feels easier! I struggle with some colleagues and fatigue but in general see the positives of work. I would struggle working for a business so chose the NHS.

I would look for another job, explore part time or compressed hours, nights etc to gain more time off

You need to prioritise finding a job you enjoy, or at least don't dislike intensely. Think of each job as time-limited and as an essential part of your research into what it is you really want to do. But if you constantly complain about something that is the common lot of mankind, you won't get much sympathy.

Welcome to late-stage capitalism. I work to eat and pay the bills. I quite like having electricity and running water. I'd suck at living in a tent.

Some people are very very lucky and find something to get paid for that barely feels like work, I am not saying I would carry on doing my job if I won the lottery and I have done jobs in the past that I have't enjoyed but I would say that I really really love my job around 80-90% of the time.
I am SE though which I think can make a huge difference

When my daughter was out of school for MH, I faced the very real possibility of never working again. It was terrifying. No choice over where I lived, benefits stopped at a moments notice, no money to buy anything that wasn't a necessity. No choice even over even if my daughter went to a school she liked or a school she hated. Is that what you want, OP? No autonomy.

You could massively downsize your life in terms of costs - get a tinyhouse, look at how you could live more cheaply in terms of energy and food production.

Then you don't need to work full time

In the time you have free cultivate something you love doing that can be turned into money and then take it from there

We aren't really designed to work like how you describe. I bet once you are in control of your life, time and income your work will become good and rewarding

It's the fxxxxng pointlessness of most jobs and how you can just scrape a life that does most people in.

Find ways around it. Good luck 🍀

A van would be more comfortable than a tent. Is there any way you could make that happen for a year to reassess what you want in life? I’m assuming you don’t have kids.

This is a great point. When I divorced I valued my job so much as it enabled me to take on the mortgage, use credit, etc. Even though at times it was hard, sometimes got no sleep etc .Not working and relying on benefits must be terrifying and removes a lot of choices.

I used to feel like you OP, I worked full time in my 20's and early 30's and felt tired, stressed and low level miserable all the time. I then took a few years out to care for my father who had dementia - 24 hour caring for someone is a whole other type of stress, but at least it was rewarding. After he died I went back to work, but I only work 3 days a week now. Even though the job I do isn't my dream role (I'm one of those that doesn't have a dream job), I enjoy it because my colleagues are lovely and I get a proper break from it.

It has been transformative for me. I won't be having any fancy holidays anytime soon, and don't have much disposable income but I have plenty of time.

I know it may not be possible for everyone, but is there any way you could reduce your outgoings, and drop to a 4 day week to give you more of a balance? Even if it means moving to a cheaper area or something. When I worked full time, I used to splurge on payday and buy stuff I didn't want or need, because it gave me a boost. Now I don't need to do that anymore.

I hear what you're saying.
It's a bit like Groundhog day - and 5 days "trapped at a desk" with the weekend off.

And still many years to go.

We only have 1 life - and have to make the most of it.

I think I get it. In my early 30s I hit a real fatigue and became quite depressed thinking I would never feel free until I'm late 60s. Holidays didn't really feel like a break because work was always waiting for me. I guess I was lucky because I had the option of becoming a SAHM which I did but it's still hard work with little reward and they were particularly chaotic exhausting years anyhow. I work PT in a job i enjoy now while kids are at school but it goes no where because I'm not FT. I have never felt like i reached my potential and I feel like I had so much to give.

I understand where you are coming from. There isn't any life balance for many of us in the UK. Hence, it feels like slavery. Unfortunately, it will not improve. The government needs you to be where you are - they need cheap labour who are too preoccupied with just barely surviving. Inflation is a tool used to control and to transfer wealth from one pocket to another.

Move to Thailand or a similar low cost Asian country on a global nomad visa and live off your savings or whatever work you can pick up there. You won't die of hypothermia.

I get it it totally OP. I HATE working mainly because it just takes up so much time.

I am going to take a year long sabbatical in about a years time and I'm hoping that it will go well enough to convince my husband to make it permanent. I'm allowed by my company to work part time in a minimum wage type job.

I also completely understand your living in a tent comment. I've thought about it many times! I read an article about a woman who developed a mysterious "allergic to modern life" illness and in desperation her boyfriend took her camping in national parks in the US (not sure what the inital rationale was) and she slowly started to recover. I want that.

Well I work x3 12.5 hour shifts. But that means start to finish my days are 15 hours long, which is brutal in its own way. You get more days off but the exhaustion is more pronounced from the days you work.

The only solution is to find a job you enjoy to make it more bearable.

Ultimately though you have to think of pensions, a house in old age and ensuring you can afford any health issues in the future.

I have the perfect job for you. Become a Disney Princess. Honey, most people dislike working full time & would prefer to not. But, you know, life, responsibilities etc.

Yes, I agree. Which is why I haven't done it!

When you have kids you are condemning them to 40+ years of work. They didnt choose it. They may like their work or they may hate it. It's a cheerful thought!

As a person who comes from a culture where women were not allowed to work until recently, I think my kids are lucky.

Are you married? Would you consider marrying a rich guy?
Where I live, there are plenty of women who don’t work & have a lovely lifestyle, paid for by their husband. They seem happy!

Sorry but this is so patronising. People are allowed to express discontent with giving so much of their life to paid work just to afford the basic essentials. And there are other ways, so it is worth talking about.