to feel like I'm in prison?

[TheSunflower5927]

I 36 and I hate working. I've tried changing jobs multiple times but I dont get the enthusiasm other people have. Work full time. All my friends and family dislike their jobs too. The only people that seem to like their jobs are at work. Full time working just takes up so much time the weekend seems too short.

If I didnt work could happily fill my time with fun things to do that arent work

Working full time feels like a prison sentence. Dont know how I can go another 30 or so years it feels like I've got 30 years of my sentence left.

🤣 I only go to work because of my bank balance...
I do work full-time, but have done pt and being at home with small DC.

Honestly, these days I look for jobs/ organisations that fit around my hobby and DC. So flexi time/ compressed hours is what I currently do. So winter months it is more flexi time as I hate getting up in the dark , summer more compressed hours to get 1/2 or full day off.
I've been with my organisation for around 5 years, and I have been re organising my hours from around 2 years in.
I also like aspects of my job, which helps when it comes to actually turning up each day... but I have 1001 things that I'd be rather doing!

I would say that many people don't "love" their job (i.e. would they still do it if they didn't get paid?) but many of us found a compromise and contentment which means we work to pay to live and build a future. A means to an end if you like.
If you are living hand to mouth and can't see a way forward then that is hard and you need to come up with a realistic solution to find other (better paid) work, retrain etc.

Moaning that life is just s**t, the NHS is knackered, COL, feel you are in prison etc makes you come across as very negative and (in the nicest possible way) maybe you need to be guided down a different path?

You need something to look forward to,to make working more bearable!
I work to pay for my holiday’s abroad, 6 times a year 🤣🤣
ifit wasn’t for my holidays I wouldn’t work as many hours every week
36 hours a week!

Can you afford to do a four day week?

Well you aren't wrong in a way OP but unless you have private funds you can't really live otherwise. Try doing something different. Can you apply for work abroad for a change of scenery maybe?

There's no point posting about hating working on mumsnet, these threads always get taken over by the "I love my job I can't imagine what I'll do when I retire" bootlickers.

You're better off finding the "I have no dream job because I do not dream of labour" crowd. Try the antiwork subreddit on Reddit.

Haven't got much advice because I hate working too, because needs must. I just tailor my jobs to what I can and can't tolerate. Avoid public facing jobs like the plague, my jobs tend to help nature/animals, have flexibility over my own schedule, have decent holidays plus banks holidays and paid sick leave. Try and negotiate a 4 day week once established in job. Won't settle for less.

Some people do enjoy their work. @Pepsipepsi why does that make them "bootlickers"?

People still work in prison. Even more monotous in there and no privacy.

I feel the same OP, just got to get on with it though. Making plans for weekday evenings really does help.

Could you afford to drop half a day and work 4.5 days condensed?

No, it’s because we have a greater proportion of the population in work, rather than going for automation as the French do. So productivity per person is lower.

BTW, you will need to buy a plot of land if you want to live in a tent….presumably with your earnings.

Can't say I love my job but the people I work with really make it a whole lot better

YANBU.
However, you are an adult, therefore should have made better choices for yourself.
Life is hard and requires hard attitude.

You need to find a job you love.

Before having DD I worked roughly 70/80 hours a week across two jobs. So weekly, free time was little. But we make the most of it when we do get time off (DH works the same). When I go back to work in January I will do roughly 50 hours a week.

I have two jobs I love, there are days when I think wtf am I doing - everyone does. But on the whole I genuinely enjoy them and whilst I would never give up the time with DD on Nat leave, I have missed work.

Money is a HUGE driver for us working two jobs each, that way we can make the best of any time we do have off.

I loathe my job too. I constantly think about how I can retire early, otherwise I’ve got another 27 years 😔 😢 I could manage if I could go part time in about 6-7 years time (aged around 48) and then retire at 55.

I think there's become a really unexamined, unhealthy relationship with work that's normalised in our society nowadays. There's the glorification of being busy and overburdened, the disdain for people who say they don't enjoy or want to work (exemplified by many PPs in this thread), and the assumption that this is simply how life has to be. It doesn't.

We actually get less time off work (in countries like the UK) nowadays than peasants did in feudal times. Work really doesn't need to be this all consuming, 9-5 five days a week grind that we believe it has to be. You don't have to want to work to be a morally ok person.

I also think that the word work is used interchangeably when people may mean different things sometimes. I think almost every human wants to contribute what they can meaningfully to the world around them, to their community, friends and family. Most people end up volunteering or learning new skills when they have more time freed up from paid employment. People generally want to be active and contribute to the world: that's not necessarily the same thing as "sucking up" that they have to find whatever job they can and get on with it because that's what you have to do.

OP, I feel like you. I am a person who contributes a lot to my community and family, but paid employment in the way I've ever experienced it absolutely drains the life out of me, and actually makes me less productive in any meaningful way. Yes I can get the train to work, sit in an office and do barely anything five days a week and get the train home again and get paid, but when I do that I'm less helpful to my family, less active in the community, etc. It's much more complex than just "suck it up" and being a scrounger or lazy if you don't want to work in conventional employment.

Additionally, I think it should be ok to accept and acknowledge that different things fulfill different people. Some people say they need the regular commitment and routine of going into a job, of having a career, to feel stimulated and fulfilled. Others would genuinely find enjoyment and fulfillment from housework, community activities and creativity. Many people need both. There shouldn't be so much disdain for people who don't find fulfillment from wage labour.

this report from Gallup hears you @TheSunflower5927 🙂

$8.9 trillion lost in global GDP due to low engagement
Employee engagement reflects the involvement and enthusiasm of employees in their work and workplace. Gallup has found that engaged business teams drive positive outcomes within organizations. Gallup estimates that low engagement costs the global economy US$8.9 trillion, or 9% of global GDP.

23% Engaged

62% Not Engaged

15% Actively Disengaged

https://www.gallup.com/workplace/349484/state-of-the-global-workplace.aspx#ite-506924

edited for spacing

I felt like that once OP, when, like you, I had burned out. It’s quite a classic symptom of burnout actually - feeling out of control and like you’re a prisoner to constant demands.

I get that this may not be realistic, but it there any way you can take a career break for a short while? In my 20s I did this, I took 6 months out and went home to my parents and it did me the world of good, but I do realise it’s not that easy if you’re self-reliant and need the income.

If you can’t take a break, try getting a change of scene as often as you can. Google microadventures. You’re only at work 8 hours a day. Sleep, washing and eating make up a further 10. The remaining 6 are yours to do as you like with! And at the weekend you get a full 48 for life outside work :-)

You aren't unreasonable to feel the way you do.

I find it is the people who make a job unbearable. Do you need to be around other people? Do the people you work with make you feel bad? Those who like their jobs don't feel bad due to other people.

There isn't a magic solution for you, just looking for a different job that gives a better work/ life balance.

The fact is that if you want to free yourself from paid work and spend your time volunteering or learning you have to have the financial resources to make that choice. Most people don't.

There are alternative ways of living. It isn't easy to find the way that works for you, but it isn't impossible either.

I've started focusing more on respite care work (which I have done for a long time, just never as my main income). I do this from my own home and/or out and about with the person I'm caring for. It isn't easy work; some of my clients have significant and unpredictable health conditions and/or disabilities, and when doing overnight care it can get to be a lot of effort. The difference, for me, is that I do not mind putting in effort or hard work when it feels like there's a point to it. Caring is a role that will always be needed, and the benefits of this role for me are huge. I love being in my own space, but get to go out and do things, too. I enjoy learning about different healthcare needs and disabilities, and implementing things to better help my clients. The downside is that I earn very little, relatively. I'm not wealthy. I don't go on holiday really. I buy exclusively secondhand clothes. This balance is absolutely acceptable for me. I'm not wealthy in money, but I have time to do things at my own pace. That's essential for me.

There are many different ways of living and earning out there. It is easy to get swept up in the narrative that unless you're rich, you only have one lifestyle option. Finding a different route isn't necessarily easy, but then nor is it easy going into a job every day that you hate and being burnt out and drained.

It's worth following your curiosity about different ways of living and working, because you really can do whatever you want; it's just finding what actually works for you.

Throughout history, it is estimated that around 108 billion people have lived on Earth. You are living a life that surpasses the quality and opportunities available to 99.9% of them.
Stop whining like a 4 year old child and if you don't like your life do something about it.

You’re only at work 8 hours a day. Sleep, washing and eating make up a further 10. The remaining 6 are yours to do as you like with

In theory. In my last office role, I was up at 7, left at 8, didn't get home again till nearly 7pm. By the time I'd cooked, watched an episode of something, cleaned up from cooking etc, I was knackered and ready for bed. That's not unusual.

Work takes the "best" hours of the day in a lot of cases and leaves you too tired to do much else. If you live 5 minutes away might be different, but I've never really not had a long commute.

There's no point posting about hating working on mumsnet, these threads always get taken over by the "I love my job I can't imagine what I'll do when I retire" bootlickers.

Some people genuinely do love their jobs though. In my sector it's quite common for people to not fully retire and to continue working a few hours.

Doesn't make them 'bootlickers'