Grandparents visits too much

[Bakergirl987]

i have one two year old son, I work two days a week and we have a really busy schedule with classes and play dates. Both sets of grandparents expect us to bring ds to their houses twice a week to see him and on at least one of these visits expect us to stay for a few hours. My issue is no one ever comes down to visit him in our home the visits always have to be in their houses I can’t remember the last time any family came down to see him. I’m trying to do all the housework and all the dinners by myself and really can’t accommodate this anymore. The pressures getting too much to try and keep everyone happy and if he doesn’t come they’ll be complaining they haven’t seen him in however long. Am I being unreasonable to think they should make an effort to come and see him which would allow me to do other stuff in the background or is it normal to always have to go visit grandparents. They all like to brag about how much they love him and portray them self as grandparents of the year when in reality I don’t know how long they would go without seeing him without the convenience of him being brought to them

Just say no. If they complain, so what?

Put your foot down

I think 4 gp visits a week is ridiculous tbh. I don't know many people that would have enough time for that amount of running in their week. Personally I think fortnightly is more realistic so you're doing one go visit a week and alternate it between them. At the end of the day it needs to work for you as well. Just say you're busy and it doesn't suit and arrange the next date. Gp are important but gp time should not override parents time with their child as you are the primary carer.

Just pretend you're busy for a few weeks. Say you're meeting other people/have toddler clubs or something. You just need to break the routine and then they won't expect you to come over all the time.

I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself to keep everyone happy. Invite them over every couple of weeks and leave it at that. It's not up to you to do all the running around.

You shouldn’t be committing to going there more than once every couple of weeks - they should be matching your travel time by coming to you. And it’s ok to not see them every week!!

When this happens: “he doesn’t come they’ll be complaining they haven’t seen him in however long“

Practise your reply: “you are welcome to come to us but we can only commit to coming to you once every couple of weeks”

Be strong and build better boundaries!!

Very good that you prioritise family time! So you should not have to do it all by yourself. They can come to you if they are bothered.

I would suggest one visit each per week is plenty, and, unless they have mobility problems. it’s perfectly reasonable for them to come to you alternate weeks.

Decide what works for you, communicate it, then stick to it. They will quite possibly moan a bit as they’ve got used to you doing all the running, but they’ll soon adapt.