Why would you move to the middle of farmland if you are scared of farm animals?

[RocketPanda]

I live in the countryside, surrounded by fields and until recently my nearest neighbour was a distant speck.
There was a derelict house that has been bought and renovated and I met my new neighbours yesterday. There's a big field between our houses and they asked was it used for animals. I said yes in the spring it usually has cows and calves in it. The husband said There better not be because he and their children are terrified of cows and big animals and can just about cope with hearing my donkeys.

Why on earth would you choose to move here then?

Well, unfortunately, us humans need food. And farmers cannot just leave fields unused, they need to rotate.

I live in Scotland, we don’t really have trespass and we have right to roam and can go through any land, as long as we follow the country code. You don’t see us getting killed by cows every week, because we use common sense.

Very much off topic, but have you seen the donkey on social media that likes squeaky rubber chickens?! Absolutely makes my day when I see one of his videos!

Did you laugh out loud when he said that though?? I don't think I'd have been able to supress it! WTAF?!

One of two things will happen going forward:

• they'll go full NIMBY and try and get the farmer shut down; or
• they won't be your neighbours for long!

Also no general right of way in Ireland.

I once came across a housebuyer who was 'highly sensitive to noise' and had to spend five minutes in each room, on his own, to see if he could cope. This was in London, a short walk from Clapham Junction.

Some people are prize turnips.

Back in the 90’s when we were young and slightly inconsiderate of any neighbours, we would open the windows and blast Prodigy. The cows in the field next to the window would always come straight over to have a listen!

But it’s much easier if you can choose which field to cross, as you can in Scotland. You pick the ones without cows in them. Good ‘countryside way’ walkers know you are supposed to stick to the footpath in England - even if it is full of frisky young bullocks.

I manage some common land that is grazed by cattle for conservation purposes. A while back, we started to get repeated complaints from an absolutely livid lady who'd recently moved to the area from London, utterly incandescent with rage that her and her children's designer shoes were ruined when they trod in the cowpats whilst walking on the common. She demanded that we replace the shoes and remove the cattle permanently, or "take steps to ensure that there are no deposits left on the land, ever".

When we didn't comply, she took her grievances to the letters page of the local newspaper, which caused something of a sensation. Other correspondents took up the mantle of responding to her unreasonableness and offering a blend of "advice" and mockery. It went on for months. In the end the rag's editor had to state that they would no longer be printing any further correspondence on the matter. It was marvellous.

She also complained to us about the wild deer that were coming into her garden from our land. She had been putting down food for them to eat because she liked seeing them in the garden but was fuming because they also ate her roses.

I hope they don’t eat meat farmed from British farms. Because how else do they expect us to have food on our tables if we do not have farms in the country????

At least it being Ireland he's unlikely to have to learn to run the gauntlet of water cannon sprinklers. We've learned to study the pattern carefully, count, and then RUN to avoid getting soaked on country walks.

@REP22 presumably this feeble person had never heard of wellies? Jeez!

I can't help but note that it's a week before Halloween. I think you should invest in a two-person pantomime cow outfit, find an accomplice and frolic where the new neighbours can see you.

Pretty sure I could rope in all the farmers to dress as cows

You need to find 50 odd people willing to dress up as cows and start mooing at 6am

Randomly watch Escape to the Country and get people wanting to live in the country but ten minutes drive from the motorways. Erm you either live in the sticks with a 30 mile car journey to motorway or live ten minutes drive from motorway but expect to live in a suburban village!

We don’t really need to eat cows though

@RocketPanda I sense this has the potential to be the epic start of a classic long running thread.

please can we have monthly or seasonal updates?

Get stuck in a field with them when they’re in an arsey mood and you’d call it self defence.

The ones I know about do get fed. They are feral and not house cats in the least but feeding them enables worm, tick and flea treatments to be administered and while not handleable without thick gloves, if they do need to be caught for any reason, its a bit easier for the human and less stressful for the cat. Our local vets will only place ferals with people who they know will take good care of them but of course the occasional incomer will turn up.

The children don't have to go into a field of cows, surely. They will see them over the fence and eventually get used to them.

That doesn’t make sense

Yeah I don't like them either although a visit to India made me braver- after seeing toddlers stroking and sitting on them in the streets lol.

However I don't cut through the meadows when they are pastured there. My kids however have all tried and failed at tipping one over. PlagingTipCow

Oh I can't wait until the Springtime lol. Blooming fools. Please do update when the rows start haha

I think I might of asked innocently “Are you planning on trespassing onto the field then?

We are cattle farmers. My FIL had a new neighbour complain to him about the smell of slurry. He also wanted notification to be put into the paper a week in advance (yes he was a Dub) we do have a good a good few Dubs around and to be fair mostly they love it or at least understand!

PLEASE keep this thread update! Especially when things start moving and awakening again 🚜 🐄 🐏 🐑