To ask how much you play with your kids?

[Contraversialcate]

On an average week how often do you actually sit down and play/ craft/ do an activity with your child? No judgement just curious.

I have three (7, nearly 4 and 20 months), work 3 days and have little two home 2 days and I reckon I spend less than an hour a week with any of them doing a ‘quality activty’.

Thats 3 little kids and a lot of work. Quality activity is sitting on the sofa having a cuddle. Your kids don't care - don't be hard on yourself and just carry on being a great mum.

I have a 7 and 4 year old- I’d say around 2 hours during the week and then 4-5 hours on a weekend? I could do better but after school/ work it’s a whirlwind of clubs and dinner so I try to make time to play with them and do stuff on the weekend! Do you go out instead to the park etc? I’ve found finding some non tedious enjoyable family games really helped!

Yes I do ‘stuff’ with them but that may involve seeing friends, going to the park (maybe) or out for coffee with them

Never. I hate playing, it drains me and I used to feel really guilty about it.

Now we bond having a cuddle and watching a Disney movie, or reading books. We have loads of toys, and I make sure we go out to a playground/soft play/activity/have friends over any time we have more than a couple of hours at home so he can get in fun time. I just can't do it 🫠

We will do a mixture of playing games and reading together for one hour a night. On weekends, a bit longer. We only have one child though so it's easier to do.

Less than an hour a week? 10/15 mins a day sounds so low for young kids.
I’m on mat leave but when when I work FT I would say I play with my older one for around an hour a day, probably 2-3 on the weekend.
Most common activities are making beds for all her babies, playing cafe, colouring, play do etc.

At least an hour each a day (4 kids and I am a full time childminder). Although I home Ed them so I made a commitment to spend a significant amount of time for them.

1 primary aged child here. Work full time mon-fri

I'd say 1-2 hours on a school day, more at the weekend.

He is our only child though, and is autistic with adhd so does require a lot of adult input!

Board games are a favourite activity currently and are a good post-dinner wind down activity. Also a good opportunity to work on things like his speech and language/occupational therapies without him realising.

At that age surely a couple of hours a day? And I hated ‘playing’ so didn’t really role play as such. We’d do board games, loads of arts and crafts. I used to Google ideas for printable activities in the evenings and print stuff out for the next day. I love outdoor activities and live on a green so as long as it wasn’t pouring out we’d be outside. I have a shed in the front full of games like boules and badminton and swingbat etc. My eldest 2 are teenagers but I have an 8 year old. Today we’ve done pumpkin carving, baked banana bread and he’s made a get well card for his friend who is very poorly

Kids are 7 and 3. We probably play for an hour on week days and 2-3 on weekends. Not continuously though! 15 mins play, then I pop to do a job, then 20 mins colouring, I put dinner on, then 10mins reading etc.

When my kids were young definitely at least an hour each a day. Dd2 in particular loved playing schools & dolls house and I used to get really into it. I miss those days & it really helped us to bond

I've only got one but I will only do certain things. No more than 30 minutes playing football in the garden and I can't pretend to be a pirate, or race Hot Wheels on the floor. I will always play a board game, draw, read or watch a film if he wants to though.

I'd say maybe 90 mins ish a day but I do pickup from school and entertain him 3-5.

How do you have time to home educate 4 kids and be paid to look after others? Do you home school the minded kids too? That actually sounds like a cool set up

I do think it’s a little more important than that. At the risk of coming off as horribly judgemental, when I compare my friends and family’s children, I can really tell the difference in development between the ones who have a lot of time spent playing and talking with them, and the ones who don’t. I’m surprised the ops children let her get away with only playing with them an hour a week, they must be very laid back!

We adopted DS when he was three and he desperately needed the input from us, so pretty much my entire day was spent playing with him initially.

He started nursery for 3 hours a day when he had been with us for about 6 months but the rest of the time I was playing.

This could include going to the park, or playing in the garden, not just indoors at home.

Once he actually started school, it eased off, plus he was then able to play for relatively long periods on his own, but he would always want to play wherever either me or DH were and would constantly ask us to look at what he was doing.

We needed to give this level of attention because of his particular circumstances and I didn't return to work until he was about 7.

I am not sure whether this amount of parent input is needed under normal circumstances. It was mentally draining at times.

I heard on the radio once some child expert saying parents don’t need to engage in imaginative play with their kids and have no need to feel they should. He said that across every culture and throughout human history, parents have NEVER played with their children. It’s just a recent middle class idea in some western countries that they should. He went on to say that when adults do play with children, they inevitably, even when they think they don’t, take over, when they purpose of play is for children to be in charge. Children also copy what adults do, this is how they learn and it can confuse them when adults start copying them instead. He said read with your children, cuddle them, play with them if you want to, but don’t do it under the impression you need to or that they will somehow benefit from it.
Unfortunately I heard all this after I had spent years on the floor playing with my kids, when really, it was the last thing I wanted to be doing.

Perfect. Well done you. Ignore the negativity.

During the working week, not much as they are in after-school club/at activities. At the weekend, 3-4 hours a day

It really varies, we have days she’s with me, days she’s with her dad, nursery days and grandparent days then weekends and we play a different amount depending on that. I’d say on working days between 10 mins and an hour and on my non working day and at weekends it can be 2 hours, that includes things like drawing, stickers, playing musical statues or sleeping bunnies, dressing dollies, role play, small world play (I struggle with this), pre school card games, jigsaws, dressing up, musical instruments, “bowling”, building things like train set, I spy in the car etc and on top of this we play with her at the Park or soft play (chasing her being a bear or dragon etc or helping her to build sandcastles or things out of blocks) and when she’s in the bath with her bath toys. We also read to her and she helps with chores sometimes but I feel bad actually worrying that I don’t play with her enough, she always wants to play and will sometimes say “nobody wants to play with me” and start crying but I’d like her to develop some independent play skills.

When I only had one I played constantly she didn’t even watch tv until her sister was born under life changing circumstances aged 3.5. We have constantly been told what great attention and love of learning DD1 is, and i credit this to involving her in all our regular routine/ life activities eg car washing, gardening, cooking, etc but not necessarily down on the floor ‘playing’ with her

Not as much as he wants me to! A few hours at the weekend mainly. After school is often cuddles, a film, a bike ride or some books.

How interesting and makes sense x

Oh god barely any. I really hate it. I make myself play with him for a few hours across a whole week but I much prefer going out together. We take little trips together on the train and investigate new places. I read to him a lot. When he's older I'll be all over board games or crafts with him for sure. But sitting on the floor playing with cars and diggers? No thanks.

This is very interesting, thank you! I looooooathhe imaginary games, I don't believe an adult can ever, no matter how enthusiastic, match the sort of energy a child would get from another child and so there's always a tension there. I feel so guilty about it, especially as my three have never been natural ones to immerse themselves non a task independently, but I'm drained so quickly. I'm frustrated, I don't really understand what they're asking me to do and it all descends into wanting to claw my skin off. This is so helpful to read!

Board games, tent-building, reading, cuddles: I'm all in. I'll carry on doing that then!