Is this harassment?

[HiImNewE]

Okay so i went out on 5 dates with much older man ( im mentioning this as maybe it's just what men in his generation do ?)

I wasn't feeling it and tried to end it but he'd send flowers and get in touch other ways when i blocked him . And convince me to give him another chance

So i decided to tell him a lie that i met someone else . He became very angry and send me letter to my address being all sarcastic, cocky saying i should of waited to "break up " ( he was never my man , it was just handful of dates
As he purchased some expensive jewellery for me ( it's insulting to me , no amount of jewellery will make me change my mind i'm
not for sale

He proceeded to bash my character and call me cheater and liar . How can i cheat on a man who was never mine ?

I got few flowers from him too . I'm worried and regret letting him know my address. I don't want letters and flowers

So he called me liar and cheater , bashed my character in letters as he is blocked and send flowers .

Should i be worried ? he sounded unhinged. Or is this just what men reaching 60 do as its different generation?

I live with my 7yo daughter and don't want him showing up at my place

Even though he lives 30 mins drive away i saw him in my local Sainsbury's other day

he can shop anywhere he likes but i am worried he came to try and bump into me

Dunno what to do now , any advice ladies ? x

what?

@HiImNewE please understand , he is doing all these things to get a reaction from you. So he does 5 things and you react, he knows just how many times he needs to harass you to get what he wants.

Its very VERY important that you dont

contact the florist
go to his work
put anything in writing
warn him
have anyone else speak to him
threaten him
return any gifts

unless of course you are told to do that by SL trust.

Don’t waste your time doing a Claire’s law request , if he is a dentist he can’t have any convictions like that .

This is my professional area. Some of the advice you've been given on this thread will increase risk and undermine a criminal case, so please contact the National Stalking Helpline (run by the Suzy Lamplugh Trust). They can assign a caseworker who can advocate with the police and go through a detailed safety plan. In the meantime:

• It's not harassment, it's stalking. When you speak to the police, keep using this word
• Do not contact him or respond to him in any way, even to tell him to stop. Keep all evidence and a log of all the contact you receive from him. The police will need to see all contact is one way only. If they say you have to tell him to stop, this is a myth and more than once I've seen this used to undermine a case further down the line
• If you're blocking him, do not block him everywhere; keep one avenue of communication only (but do not respond)
• If the police offer to talk to him or give him a caution, do not accept and ask them to investigate properly
• Report every incident to police and quote the original crime reference number, so the course of conduct can be identified.

The Helpline will be open again on Monday. I'd call them and ask for an advocate as the police are not actioning your reports.

Stop contacting him! This is what he wants! And don't contact the flower shop, his work or try to intervene in any other way.

Block him and keep him blocked. If he sends you anything else, make a note of the date and take a photo. Any kind of communication or unusual phone calls, screenshot/photograph them and make a note.

If he turns up at your house DO NOT open the door or speak to him. Call 999 and tell them a man who has been stalking you has turned up at your home and you are afraid. Likewise if he approaches you in the street. It's a game, just stop playing.

I'm sorry the police haven't taken this seriously @HiImNewE this website has some useful information, including a link to the Suzy Lamplugh Trust - it might be worth talking to them too? www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/sh/stalking-harassment/what-is-stalking-harassment/
This contact by him is unwanted and does constitute harassment. Keep a record of everything and keep trying the police. You have been very clear you don't want to have anything to do with him.
If you are feeling anxious and panicky, it might also be worth speaking with a mental health practitioner, you can usually see someone at your GP surgery. X

Is he still contacting you? I wouldn't give up on the police. Tell them every time you receive something from him. This is definitely something they should be dealing with.

I've just been to a talk about stalking and thr police officer said that the aim of the perpetrator is to keep in the victims yeeline and head, he is doing this with flowers, gifts etc and will escalate so please report every incident.