Is this harassment?

[HiImNewE]

Okay so i went out on 5 dates with much older man ( im mentioning this as maybe it's just what men in his generation do ?)

I wasn't feeling it and tried to end it but he'd send flowers and get in touch other ways when i blocked him . And convince me to give him another chance

So i decided to tell him a lie that i met someone else . He became very angry and send me letter to my address being all sarcastic, cocky saying i should of waited to "break up " ( he was never my man , it was just handful of dates
As he purchased some expensive jewellery for me ( it's insulting to me , no amount of jewellery will make me change my mind i'm
not for sale

He proceeded to bash my character and call me cheater and liar . How can i cheat on a man who was never mine ?

I got few flowers from him too . I'm worried and regret letting him know my address. I don't want letters and flowers

So he called me liar and cheater , bashed my character in letters as he is blocked and send flowers .

Should i be worried ? he sounded unhinged. Or is this just what men reaching 60 do as its different generation?

I live with my 7yo daughter and don't want him showing up at my place

Even though he lives 30 mins drive away i saw him in my local Sainsbury's other day

he can shop anywhere he likes but i am worried he came to try and bump into me

Dunno what to do now , any advice ladies ? x

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast threw everything away
after taking photos

Contacting you against your wishes and sending you 'gifts' which you have said you don't want, is arguably a form of stalking; and sending gifts to your child he has never met is disturbing, perhaps deliberately so. You're vulnerable living alone with a child, and I think it is worth talking to the police about it even though there is likely no action they can take at the moment - except maybe contact him directly and ask him to stop.

Report him.
And if he responds after they've spoken to him report again.

Maybe do a Claire's law request for him. He's likely got previous.

Keep hassling the police. Does your area police have a protocol or policy in how harassment/stalking is dealt with published - are they following that protocol?
Do not contact him again. You've already told him you want no more contact.
www.suzylamplugh.org/ for more advice.
Don't be nice.

Contact local police with the letter so they are aware. Very scary. Perhaps don't let new dates know your address until you've been seeing each other for a while.

?????

pardon me ?

It's a twat posting so don't give them any oxygen/response. Like your stalker

I've reported those comments, just someone looking for a reaction.

@HiImNewE

You’ve had some good advice here and you need to listen to it . Thsi is what I think you should do .

Write a very factual timeline , just facts . Cut out all the Drama and comments that make you look a bit unhinged ( the flowers are ugly, is it because he’s 60 / black / whatever). . Just put the dates in order like this

12 august - met online on this app
14 august - exchanged emails / phone numbers
20 August - went to date to X

etc .

Tomorrow o please phone this charity and ask for their advice .

https://www.suzylamplugh.org/

In the meantime do NOTHING to contact him in any way whatsoever . Don’t message him , call him, send message cia someone else . Don’t reoply to any texts or answer call from anyone you don’t know . If you pick up by mistake and it’s him , hang up without a word .

Nothing - do you understand ?

Lockdown all your social media . I mean all.

Make sure your voicemail message is just the automated one and not your voice.

keep copies of everything he sends you.

If he approached you in teh street , say nothing to him and walk into a shop and ask for help . Call the police .

It's not a generational thing. I'm in my 50s, and I've dated plenty of men round this age. Usually, they take no for an answer and don't harass you. This guy is being a creepy stalker.

"You've dates no one stale beef flaps she should be grateful end of"

What?

Ah. You're a twat. I was wondering.

so it's my fault?

No the person who's comments have been deleted not you. Xx

No no no

There was a total twat on your thread saying some foul stuff.
I was talking to them but their posts have now been deleted

I agree with pp, please contact the Suzy Lamplugh Trust ASAP. They have issued a super complaint against all UK police forces for not talking stalking seriously enough. They will help and support you with reporting this. Don't ignore this problem as it won't go away.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/sep/27/stalking-victims-left-at-serious-risk-by-police-failures-report-finds

I would do a Claire's law request to the police! If he flashes up on that, they will take you very seriously!

Do you know the name of the company that delivered the flowers?? Could you get someone you know to call him claiming to be from the flower company and just say that they attempted delivery but unfortunately the delivery person was told the person the flowers are for moved out of the address a few weeks a go?

Don't muck around playing stupid pretend games. Do not engage.

I'd be worried he would turn up on the doorstep if she does that.