To reduce from three days at work to two when my eldest starts school?

[jumpaboardapirateship]

My DS starts school next year. I currently work three days but this doesn’t really work with the school we’d ideally like him to go to: their before and after school sessions aren’t early enough.

I could just reduce my time by three hours and start an hour later but it would still be a rush at the end of the day. I am considering dropping a whole day and therefore starting an hour later three days a week and finishing two hours early one day a week. Part of me thinks it’s a bit indulgent as I still have a younger child in childcare but I’ve felt so rushed this year I’m keen to avoid that.

Can you afford it?
How will it impact your career progression/ opportunities?
Are your employers likely to agree to it?

If yes, not at all, and yes then go for it.

Depends on your job. Some jobs it would work fine. Others it's going to be a right pain for you only being there 2 days a week. If you're trying to reduced hours each day instead of whole days you have to be mindful you don't try and cram a whole "normal" day into your hours.

It is indulgent, but does it work for your family set up? Can you afford it? Will your pension be OK? Do you have a partner and do they agree?

Could you do the same hours, but spread over 4 days?

Is there another patent who could do some of the drop offs or collections to allow you to shift your day to do the other one (ie so eone start later, and do the drop off, someone start vet early to collect).

Don't forget to factor how school holidays will work with whatever schedule you move to.

DH would rather I just dropped the hours we strictly need which I understand but ultimately he’s not the one running round like a blue arsed fly!

Career isn’t affected, well it is. But im not seeking promotion,

Do it.

I wish I'd done similar when mine were young. Why struggle if you don't have to - it will make your home life - and general life - so much calmer and more pleasant.

Why struggle if you don't have to

I think this is what my mantra needs to be! This year to be honest has been awful! I’m so stressed all the time. I just want an end to that.

I don’t think this is a dilemma as much as asking for permission to drop your hours. You absolutely don’t need permission but here it is if you need it.

Just do it. It’s not indulgent. Well it is if you’re planning Pilates, cocktails and taking a lover in the afternoon. But as a mother to two young children I’d imagine you’d be using the extra time to keep on top of the usual mundane shit. Definitely do it.

I’m not asking permission as such. I’ve been talking to myself all morning 😂 this is the equivalent!

Just do it. If your DH isn’t keen it would be worth asking if he can find any flexibility in his schedule so he can do some of the running around.

Just a word of warning, I've done a 2 day/3 day alternate week job share pattern when my kids were small, and gone down from a 3 day to a 2 day week as part of transition to retirement. Both times, I found working 2 days was surprisingly difficult. By the time I'd got properly into the week, it was nearly over. 5 days home and 2 days work felt a bit unbalanced while 4 days home and 3 days work felt like it worked well.

However, those were both very demanding jobs with a lot of variety. In a routine job which is less varied, it might work perfectly well.

My concern would be, you're doing this with your oldest starting school, so unless something changes you're looking at a long period (10+ years?) of your salary (and pension) being very low and your prospects for increasing that slim to none, which leaves you in a pretty vulnerable position financially if anything shifts in your relationship. What's the long term plan for your financial security?

Any chance of DH picking up the slack? Otherwise you are facing into a long haul of being default parent for everything. School holidays, illness etc. You do you but it does let him proceed unimpeded!

I'm on side with the whole "Why struggle if you don't have to" perspective, but it is also worth thinking critically about this from a long-term perspective.

Not just impact on your career, but what does it also mean for your pension or national insurance contributions? Could you end up in a much worse financial position than your husband jn your sixties or have to continue working longer than you would like to? Especially if you are going to do this over the next 7 to 10 years? The realities of the Gender Pension Gap are scary.

I would do some forecasting on the sums. It might make more sense in the long term to get a childminder for the extra couple of hours you need.

It sounds like OP is still planning on working 3 days a week, just 0.4 FTE spread over 3? Is that right OP?

And how did DH take on a fair share of this awful year? Or is his commute too long, job too busy...

@DreadPirateRobots i agree. I’d probably look to go back up to three days over four when both in school but it doesn’t really give me the option for full time; I don’t think I want this but things can change!

surely it just boils down to affordability. Only you and DH can answer this.

Missed that - yes, I can see that working well. I also worked 5 short days for a period when they were young teens and it worked well for me though many people would prefer to do less but longer days. It's all a compromise though, isn't it - I think when they are young you just feel you are slightly failing at parenting and work, but I'm glad I muddled through with various part time options. I got a fair amount of time with my kids and built a reasonable but not stellar career and pension - I wouldn't do it differently, though those years where you literally have no time for yourself at all are so tough.

It’s not indulgent at all. If you have decided that it will work better for you, then go for it. And actually doesn’t actually matter what anyone else thinks.

concentrate on what will work for reception year…..worry about the rest later

Do what works for you best , we are only here once .

Is he doing some of the childcare drop offs and pick ups? If not why not. One parent always having to be one with eye on clock and rushing around is a lot of pressure and often builds resentment.
A set up where one drops and one collects or shared is often best.

Why can't your husband work partially flexibly or drop hours to also accommodate school run?