To reduce from three days at work to two when my eldest starts school?

[jumpaboardapirateship]

My DS starts school next year. I currently work three days but this doesn’t really work with the school we’d ideally like him to go to: their before and after school sessions aren’t early enough.

I could just reduce my time by three hours and start an hour later but it would still be a rush at the end of the day. I am considering dropping a whole day and therefore starting an hour later three days a week and finishing two hours early one day a week. Part of me thinks it’s a bit indulgent as I still have a younger child in childcare but I’ve felt so rushed this year I’m keen to avoid that.

What are your school hol care plans? A shorter day can make accessing affordable holiday clubs easier as often they are 9-3 sort.

Other thing you’ve mentioned is this school. If you are going to a school a drive away as it’s marginally better in league tables etc have a good think. There’s a lot to be said for local school no long school run. It’s only 20 mins by car etc doesn’t factor in sheer grind of getting in car, traffic, parking hassle every day.

Have you thought about working every day but less hours? I do nearly school hours so drop off (breakfast club) and pick up (normal time). I need to work though so it was better financially to do 6 hours a day than drop a day or two a week. It requires some organisation but its nice not working past 2.30pm any day of the week. And its nice having the same hours every day to be able to do drop off and collections.

If you want to do it then do it, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing/think.

Having more time with your kids once they start school & their time with you is limited, being able to drop them off/pick them up (& not being completely stressed doing it!), & not sticking them in after school clubs after an already long day are all good reasons.

We don’t really have a local school exactly. We’re in the countryside so whichever school they go to would be a drive and a bit annoyingly they are all in the opposite direction to where I work! I have to be at work for 825 so breakfast club starting at 8 is cutting it very fine.

I would work for two days spread over three - I’ve checked and work would accommodate this. I’m a teacher so school holidays are okay it’s just the wraparound stuff.

2 days over 3 sounds like a good plan.

I did 2 full days - it was difficult! They were really long days and I never got it all done in that time so it carried over to the rest of the week. I also felt really disconnected to work. Wouldn't do it again if I could avoid it.

Drop the hours. Both me and my husband did. We aren't really saving much now and we don't get to go on really exciting holidays but it's not worth mugging yourself off for the sake of a fortnight in a hotel and a nicer car!
Just make sure you work enough hours to get the free childcare hours, make sure you can cover your mortgage and a proper pension, and make sure you'll have enough on the bank for if your boiler goes or your car needs a new engine and crack on.
Oh and buy a tent, you'll need it for the staycations!!!

I do need to check the funded hours actually, that’s a good point.

Hmm google seems to suggest there isn’t a minimum - does that sound right?

It isn't necessarily indulgent, as having more time away from work can help keep up with other things, like housework, admin etc, therefore taking the pressure off both parents.

Me and DH have always worked the hours we NEEDED to, as we don't want to be both be working full time for the sake of things.

@jumpaboardapirateship what about your husband's role in childcare? Several people have you asked you that.

I know and I’ve just ignored it to be honest as it would go like this

Me - DH can’t reliably do childcare because he works too far away and sometimes works away.

Mn - DH should get a new job / move house - reduce his hours / work flexibly

Me - none of those options are possible or suit

MN - I don’t know why you posted OP, you don’t want any helpful advice.

(also sarcastic comments re how men can never reduce their hours etc.)

just summed up the next two pages

I think that info is relevant OP because if he is not offering to do any of the running around himself, his opinion on how you should arrange your work carries much less weight.

It does and I don’t disagree with that but I also can’t totally ignore the financial impact. Even though dropping an additional two hours is probably something and nothing, and it isn’t forever - just until they’re both at school (my younger child will start September 2027.) The main thing that puts me off is that I’d probably go up to three days spread over four when they are both at school which only leaves me one day a week and I know - it’s a lot more than many get! But I was so looking to two days a week to do housework (sad I know!) and to have some ‘me time!’

When we were doing this a few years ago, I recall that the rules were that the salary had to be equal to 16 (?) hours a week on minimum wage over a certain time period to get to the minimum pay requirements per week.

If you're a teacher you're likely to be on higher than minimum wage (although not that much higher for the added stress [I'm a former teacher]!) but you should still look into it properly just to be sure depending on how far you are into your career, where you are in the country (inner/outer/fringe/elsewhere weighting) and/or if you have additional TLRs to boost the "base" salary.

Thanks. I’m UPS3, so definitely above minimum wage although I know what you mean re the stress! That’s what’s been pretty hard this year to be honest. I always used to take it all in my stride but the needs of two very young children plus work have meant I’m spread really thin and that’s even before I get into the housework!

it is not indulgent at all. Do what’s best for you and your family.

Just do it. If your DH isn’t keen it would be worth asking if he can find any flexibility in his schedule so he can do some of the running around.

This - what is his plan to cover picking eldest up? If he's ill? Will he do things like get food in, take them to medical appointments?

There’s an after school club until 4 so I can get over there. Illness is usually DH but we’ve been lucky with a very healthy child - last day off for illness was eighteen months ago!

I do think you need to acknowledge as a couple that it’s a huge burden on you doing all drop off, all pick ups and all school holiday care. Look at impact on pension - can you address this as a couple eg make additional payments.
Even a small change eg dh requesting flexibility to pick up once a week would make a difference.
If it is all you then I’d arrange hours to suit you.

I’m not overly worried about my pension because I worked full time for some eighteen years before I dropped my hours and also have a couple of rental properties. I’m more worried about if I had to change jobs for any reason I think …could end up being a bit stuck.

Maybe between the pair of you both of you could drop enough hours to cover childcare?

It’s a danger that you end up staying in a job as hours suit (I did for years - not teaching)
But realistically there will always be teaching work and your school sound flexible. If he can’t drop off and pick up and afterclub is short hours then realistically it’s all on you until youngest is secondary age.
Are there any other options to 8-4pm wrap around eg childminder or different schools to consider. Those are very short hours.

Can't ever do a drop off on a single day of the working week...all year?

The Relationships board is full of women who have put themselves after their husbands super important job, and their kids, and the state of the house, only to find themselves with little of the way of pension, separated and earning significantly less than they should.

You can ignore commentators including me. I do really, really hope you are one of the lucky ones because from what I read on MN an awful lot of women are heartily regretting their actions.

My experience for what it's worth, the early years are absolutely relentless even with a supportive spouse who pulls his weight. Changing the dynamic of your relationship whereby you become the default carer, the one who always sucks it up though? That is a really difficult balance to change back.

There’s no point in him dropping the odd Monday or whatever though, is there, if I’m at work and there isn’t suitable wraparound? Point is, if the wraparound isn’t there long enough then we need an arrangement for those days.