How to make 8 yo learn to pee at break during school

[YourLastNerve]

DS is 8.
I am sick of pants coming home smelly with leaked urine where he basically avoids going to the loo at break and lunch because he is too busy playing. He then leaves it too late & leaks.

I thought maturity would kick in by now & he'd find it gross and that would make him make better choices but its not and I find it completely disgusting.

No issue with school rules around this he has plenty of opportunities to go and is choosing not to. No constipation at all.

Has anyone had this issue? How did you get them past it? At the moment i have had to say he will not get the Nintendo switch he is desperate for next birthday until it stops but its just not sinking in.

Now this is a great suggestion.
'hang on love, before you put the tv you'll need a quick shower as your pants were wet today' that's a really, really good natural consequence!

Can you tell him he needs to go first thing at breaks so it will be a habit? Tell him you will have to ask his teacher for help to remind him otherwise..

Speak to his teacher and ask her/him to send him to the toilet during lesson transitions or tidy up time before break and lunch.

I have told the tale before of a pupil who was asked to make up the time he missed visiting the loo almost immediately after break (admittedly stopping on the way back for a solo stint on the climbing frame, unfortunately for him visible from the teacher's desk on the first floor).
It wasn't my own form, so I had erred on the side of caution, not wanting an unfortunate mishap, but when I realised he was (literally) taking the piss, I asked him to remain when his fellow pupils left for lunch, on the grounds that he had chosen to take some of his playtime early, while they were working, to complete the tasks set at a more conventional time.
I took care to ensure that there was still time for him to go down to the dining hall with the second sitting; missing lunch would have been far too harsh a consequence.
However, he was next found in the school office, asking to use the school phone (permitted if a good reason was given) whereupon he stated his intention to call Childline.
On the plus side, he clearly had no notion of genuine infringements on his human rights, for which organisations like Childline are sadly necessary, but it had to be explained to him that this was not such an occasion.

The problem is that one withholding starts - even if it starts as behavioural - it soon becomes a physical issue where the early warning system of a full bladder breaks down. It can require bladder training to overcome. It's very unlikely that shaming or even natural consequences will help him.

I would urge OP to go to the GP first, to rule out an underlying medical concern - smelly wee is a concern anyway. And then consult Eric.org.uk to get a full understanding of this issue and how to overcome it.

And I really hope posters with some of the more shaming suggestions, like threatening to put him in nappies, don't have kids of their own.

Have him help wash his clothes every day when he gets home as well as a shower.

Less time to play at home might be a natural consequence that works.

I have the same issue with my DD who is 6 during the day and she is getting assessed for autism and adhd. It seemsnto be a mix of not wanting to miss out socially, feeling anxious about asking, and not realising until its too late (poor interoception)... nothing has helped, sticker charts, alarms.

The only thing that the school now do which started to help was get her to go with a friend or adult. She has more days now without accidents but still has them.. paediatrician says it can take a while to stop happening but nothing we can do about it... just positive reinforcement

Firstly I thankfully don't need to. But please don't let that stop you from shaming women who sadly are impacted daily from a hidden disability.

Professional organisation? Or a collection of ignorant mean girls ??