To want to change my whatsapp settings to remove my last seen?

[Ponystories]

My friend stalks me on whatsapp. She stalks everyone. She will send a message and then:
If you have been last seen but either not read or replied to her message she will get arsey. She will then regularly check your last seen. She will get arsey in that you'll either get a short reply or she will purposely wait ages to reply, like you did to her (her words).

She will comment that I was up late ie she saw my last seen at eg 1/2am

If I turn off my last seen she will get the arse. But I'm tired of her games and feeling like I'm being watched. I feel like I need an excuse to turn off my last seen. She will 100% ask me why I did it.

OP you need to set some boudaries with your friend, you shouldn't have to avoid anything.

Turn off your last seen / read reciepts = i did ages ago and wouldnt go back

I turned mine off years ago and turned my read receipts off as people think you should reply the minute you read their message. I would never turn them back on now

But why are you friends?

And you can do what you like

If you must answer her it's 'Because I want to'

Block this nutjob! I had one like that who would post passive aggressive memes about people not replying to messages if I hadn’t replied immediately due to being at work, driving, or you know - having a life.
She is a narcissist and utterly draining. We are not friends any more.

I turned mine off and none of my friends even mentioned it, which is how it should be! If you really want an excuse you could say that it's to stop colleagues bothering you out of hours and expecting an instant response. But I'd just tell her the truth that being scrutinised and on call is stressful.

She sounds insane, just turn it off and don’t feel the need to explain yourself.

If she complains just ignore her.

I personally really dislike any apps that give read reports – I reply when I’m ready and the ‘read report’ function just adds uneasiness and obligation to something that should be pleasant!

She sounds like she's obsessed with you?! Why is she watching your status so much, are you close in person?

One of the options under "Last seen & online" is "My contacts except..."

Then under "Who can see when I'm online" is "Same as last seen".

If you're otherwise OK with having last seen on, change the settings just to exclude her or anyone connected with her.

You can also turn off read receipts too, but that's an all or nothing.

I would be heavily considering going LC with her though with a view to getting shot of her completely if possible. That's way too intense for me!

Can you? How? I can't see that option (I'm on Android)

You can change your settings for just her or for everyone, as posters above have indicated.

However, your real issue here is why you yourself haven’t put a boundary in place around this person’s unacceptable and stalkerish behaviour. She’s not your friend so don’t treat her like she is.

She gives you anxiety because she's not a friend, she's a stalker. Get rid of her!

Great idea x

Why can’t you just be honest with her and ask her to give it a rest! If this was a partner we’d be telling you this is controlling behaviour and a massive red flag. So why put up with it from a friend? Are there other things you have to tiptoe around her on? Sometimes we grow out of friendships and that’s ok.

it's in settings under privacy, last seen and online.

it ate my screenshot, trying again

If I had a 'friend' stalking me on this level I would have already told her to back off. You don't need to justify yourself to her or explain your doings. Just turn off your last seen and if she asks anything just tell her it's none of her business.

Mines always off.

@Ponystories just tell her it makes you anxious when switched on and leave it at that. She’ll probably moan but 🤷🏻‍♀️

"oh has it changed? I was having problems with photos not working and I fiddled with a load of settings! all working now so I'm not touching it again lol"

What do you get out of this friendship? Is it worth the hassle?

Update- last seen is OFF !

Good!

None of her business

Good for you. You won't regret it!

@GrazingLamb

is that new??

I didn't even know you could switch it off! Thanks OP!
But on another note just do it, nothing worse than feeling anxious about something you can be in control of!