I feel like such a party pooper saying this! I am really worrying about it and worrying about telling my friend.
So me and my friend aren’t very close, we talk a few times a year and see each other probably once a year, if that. We keep the friendship going because we are childhood friends but don’t really do much together these days.
I have just been added to a WhatsApp group and a trip is being planned for her hen do which is abroad. There’s a few reasons why I really don’t want to go. The first one being, I simply can’t afford it. We have spent all year doing house renovations as we bought our first house and it’s needed a lot going to it. It has bled us dry and we are panicking about Christmas because we basically have no money left. We have had to tell people that we won’t be able to buy them much this year, and we aren’t buying for each other. We are excited because we have a big family holiday with DPs family booked for June, his dad has paid for it but wants us to pay him back which we will be doing very soon as the house is almost done. So we have that to pay for, plus DPs best friend is getting married and his stag do is also abroad and DP is the best man so can’t miss it. So we have that to pay for too. They want the money for my friends hen do before the end of the year. It’s simply not possible, I don’t have any spare cash whatsoever.
The second reason, is that I have ME/CFS. No one knows about this because I am a bit embarrassed about it and feel like some people would judge or not see it as a real thing. The thought of a girls drinking holiday fills me with utter dread, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. I don’t drink alcohol, and the holiday would make me ill due to my illness. I don’t want to spend money that I don’t have on something that I would dread and not enjoy and I would just suffer through.
I feel like this is so bad, to not go to your friends hen do, and I feel so guilty about it. I haven’t said anything yet. How can I explain it? Is it unreasonable? Can I even still be expected to go to the wedding if I don’t go to the hen do? I feel stressed about this