To think DH is too sentimental?

[IAmARobot85]

DH's mum and dad gave him some birthday money last week in an envelope to spend on a treat.

DH put it in a drawer where he often keeps cash from selling things on Facebook marketplace. He has encouraged me to take cash from that drawer to use when I go for a haircut (as they prefer cash to card).

I took the money from the drawer to spend on a haircut. I forgot that it was the money from his parents rather than some other money that he wanted me to spend. It was an accident and I have apologised and offered to get some more cash out.

We have shared finances and DH's parents are still alive and well.

DH was sentimental about these particular notes. He wanted to spend them doing something fun and think of his mum getting the money out of a cash machine for him. He spent about 10 minutes talking about this last night and I kept apologising but ended up crying.

I could understand if it was a special coin from a deceased relative that he never wanted to spend, but this was some notes from relatives that are still alive and well and that he was planning to spend.

I think DH is sentimental to to the point that it is too much. We have a long history of similar incidents. He thinks I am a bit of a robot as I am not so sentimental.

AIBU to this his sentimentality is not normal?

Potentially money is tight if your parents give you money
that's a reach with literally no evidence from the OP to support it. equally as likely that your parents give you money because you're doing well and there's nothing you need. or lots of other reasons

I’d not dream of spending my husbands birthday money on a haircut for myself. I’d feel it was thoughtless.
OP didn't do so deliberately, she thought it was joint household money. If he wanted to keep the money separate he should have kept it in his wallet and not in the household money drawer!

As much as I agree it’s just cash and it can be replaced, it was his birthday money, that he wanted to go and spend on himself for his treat.
This two sentences contradict themselves. If you accept the actual notes themselves are irrelevant it doesn't matter if it is those particular notes or any other notes (or indeed pay by debit), he will still spend it and treat himself on behalf of his parents

your points would make sense if OP spent the money and wasn't going to replace it, but she has. even if he did have some bizarre attachment to the actual notes themselves (we all have weird little quirks) he should have just said "I know this is a bit silly but I would have preferred to keep the actual money.' Not moan about it for TEN MINUTES, guilt tripping his wife into feeling so bad about something that was at least 50%(although I would say 100%) his fault that she ended up crying.

TBH he sounds quite unhinged.

Miming his mum getting the cash out 🤣😬 sorry I know that wasn't a funny moment for you but oh god, what the actual heck 😂

But you spending the specific notes doesn't mean his mum thought about him any less! She didn't select those specific notes! She was gifting him the monetary value and he still has that, because you replaced it!

Do you think he'd see the funny side if he told his mum? If I asked someone if they'd found something nice to spend my gifted money on and they said 'Well my DW accidentally used those specific notes, so I'll actually be spending the ones she replaced them with!', I would think it was a joke.

I'd have slightly more sympathy if, for example, his DM had picked out a specific brand of chocolates or cologne that had a sentimental reason, you used that and weren't able to replace with the exact brand. Or if money was tight and you using the notes on a haircut meant he wouldn't be able to get a treat of the initial intended value. But this is bananas, and I'm very sentimental

👏👏👏

I can imagine my 4yo having this reaction, OP, if I spent his 'special' €2 coin and replaced it with an identical €2 coin.

My 7yo, however, is mature enough to know that this makes absolutely no difference, and that money is fungible.

Is your DH less emotionally and cognitively developed than my 7yo (to give you a sense of his overall maturity level, his current word <i>de jour<i> is 'buttload')? For your sake, I really hope not.

He wanted to spend them while thinking about his mum getting them out of the cash machine for him....

Bloody hell, what a bat shit statement to make!!

Tell him to use the rest of the cash to get himself a grip!!!

That’s a hoarder in the making right there.

The more I read this thread, the more this would be perfect 😱

The sweets were a particular chocolate bar bought in France and not available in the UK.

There is difference between being sentimental and batshit. Your dh is the latter.