Help! My husband's feelings are being hurt but am I being mean?

[likeitallagain]

He is a very clean, tidy man with good hygiene.

But WHENEVER he drinks beer I can smell it on him and it makes me heave. It must be beer because he drinks Jack Daniel's and I can never smell it when he does.

I told him last night 'sorry, but you stink'. I really didn't mean to be hurtful but it overwhelmed me, this awful smell. It's there when I walk in a room.

The smell is absolutely awful. I can't really describe it. It is such a weird smell. It's like this weird, yeasty yet sour type smell. It's really hard to explain

The closest thing I can describe it to is sadly a rotting flesh. I remember this experience from years ago after someone had passed away. It's a weird, sickly sweet smell.

It's literally oozing out of him and even brushing his teeth hasn't helped when I demanded he did that last night

If I walk into the room I can smell it on him immediately.

Is something wrong with me here? I ask this because my own dad was an alcoholic (nice man but drink reliance). He never smelt and still doesn't? But it was just whisky. Is that why?

I also worked with an alcoholic briefly in an office. He did smell of alcohol a lot but it was a different smell?

I have also smelt alcohol when briefly training as a nurse and I remember some patients being really drunk but I never smelt this smell.

Can someone tell me if I'm going mad or explain what this is?

And why have I never smelt it before? I am not pregnant so no heightened sense of smell

I can’t cope when my dh drinks beer either. The smell fills the room he’s in and lasts the following day too. Its not just breath, it’s on his skin. Some people are just sensitive to smells.

But are you exceedingly rude to him about it?

pregnant?

I had a similar issue when my ex would drink too much white wine.

it turned his aroma into a vinigary type smell. It tainted the pillows and our bedding too. In particular, I was constantly changing the pillow slips and pillow protectors.

Really gave me the ick. It was awful. I found it unbearable. It didn’t happen when he drank red wine, so he swapped.

Im too old to be pregnant.

Has he always drunk those beers or has he recently decided he likes them more, or drinking a larger quantity?

I get what you are saying btw, I hated it when X drank beers as his whole body stank and even a hot shower wouldn't get rid of the smell. Always had to wait approx 24 hours until he had pee'd or sweated it out.

You are not wrong to tell him it's affecting you but perhaps you need to be kinder in explaining it.

Not pregnant are you? I couldn't abide the smell of beer when I was pregnant.

You said it's upsetting you and that it is like the smell you remember of someone who passed away - was this in any way a traumatic loss or traumatic experience for you? Your amygdala may be just recalling the smell and the feelings you had at the time?

The JD consumption is quite a lot… a small bottle contains a weeks worth of units.

Definitely not. The smells aren't the same either but it's the only comparison I can think of

Would I tell him he stinks? Absolutely 😂🤦‍♀️

I wouldn’t consider that to be exceedingly rude after he’s had a few!

Sometimes, when OH drinks quite a lot of beer (and 5 is a lot ), he oozes alcohol. He literally sweats it out and yes it does stink. It doesn't bother me much though. It's worse if the house is really warm , because it makes him even sweatier. Have you had the heating on, on these occasions? Or was the room he was in warmer than usual?

Any chance he’s diabetic/borderline diabetic?

I do think your words were very unkind. There are far nicer ways you could have had that had that conversation.

As others have said, given it is a recent change I would get him to the gp and checked out for something more serious, diabetes often causes a vile smell when drinking beer due to the metabolism of the sugars.

I would also take a pregnancy test. Before I even knew I was pregnant the smell of coffee made me physically sick. Couldn't go near anywhere that served it, ended up banning it from my house because it made me so ill!

My ex was an alcoholic and used to have a horrible sour smell. It’s possible he is drinking too much. Monitor his drinking and he should see a GP get some blood tests or something.

I feel really sorry for him. And if a woman typed that her husband complained that she 'stank' when she'd had a few beers everyone would be outraged.
If your nose is that sensitive, surely you notice BO of people in office, or smoke smells, or all sorts without being compulsively mean to people.

Why so many responses stating pregnancy when OP literally says she isn't pregnant in the first post!

I know exactly what you mean! Your description of the smell is spot on 🤢

I could only smell it on my husband when I was pregnant but it was SO strong- like I could smell it as soon as he walked into a room. Now I've had my baby I can't smell it any longer. I don't have any useful advice though as you're not pregnant!

Diabetes comes to mind here too. I would ask for him to go to the GP.

Can anyone else smell this smell on him?

not being mean if you have mentioned the smell before and you feel strongly about it. He needs to understand!

I really think a pregnancy test might be wise.

Sorry, should have said, it wasn't said in a way that was rude. But I did say it in a loving when at first and he didn't listen, brushed it aside (he isn't dismissive usually but probably thought I was being a bit over the top because he can't smell it)

So I had to come down with 'you stink' and again, he wasn't offended but does think I'm talking rubbish!

Google doesn't seem to give any results for this random beer smell 👃 hence me posting

but of course he should clean his teeth before bed
and 5 beers is excessive

Hmm. I have a very sensitive sense of smell but I've never noticed a difference in smell after my husband drinks. I definitely think you could have said it in a much kinder way, he isn't doing it on purpose.

I think if anyone regularly drinks enough to smell it on them, they deserve to be told they stink. Maybe he could drink less.

It isn't the smell of beer. The OP already explained it.

OP I get it - my OH has the same. I believe it is diabetes related so you need him to get checked out. It is an overwhelming stink of sweet yeast. It gets in his clothes and after he goes for a run he absoluely stinks of it.

Does anyone else smell it?