To stay in Aus or be back to the uk

[Lottemarine]

Hi,
We are a family of four (two young children-2 and 4 years old) who live in Australia. My husband and I are Brits, have lived here 13 years and our children were born here.

All our family are in England. Since having the children and having older parents in 70s/80s I feel drawn to move back so the children can grow up with their grandparents as my husband and once did.

The issue is we have a very good quality of live here, the medical system is good, we have good jobs that are well paid to the point we’ve nearly paid off our mortgage, but I miss Britain-family/friends, the culture, Europe and have done for years etc. We would never get the same pay over there, but would that matter…Everything I hear/read about England is a bit of doom and gloom, the politics the healthcare system is a concern especially with young children etc.

So what to do? The reality is we can’t go back every year, flights are expensive and there just isn’t enough annual leave, we might go back every couple or three years.

In the meantime, I have real guilt about not seeing my parents, I am an only child. My husband is indifferent, likes the lifestyle over here but would move if we decided too.

If we did move, it would be to the Lake District and in the next year or two, so the children could settle into school without it being too traumatic. Anyone gone through similar?

If you have nearly paid off your mortgage then how about saving those payments for annual trips back to the U.K. as well as any emergency trips back you may need to make?

I see you as shallow and vapid .

Exactly. Many countries would be very low on population if people hadn't taken the risk years ago and moved, and some of us are very thankful that our earlier family members did just that. Some people actually consider the welfare of their own children when it comes to quality of life and would prefer their children grow up in better circumstances. I agree, judge away, but all around me I see people who have moved here from other parts of the world happy and thriving.

If you are considering moving to the Lake District, what do you plan on doing for work? It is an area of relatively few higher paid opportunities and a housing premium to live in a beautiful area. If you are from there, the friends you had won't have been sitting patiently waiting for you to return, they eill have busy lives that don't involve you in in their weekends. You will need to carve our a social life, potentially with new people, who aren't the ones you are going back for.

Make sure you aren't doing this with rose tinted glasses if you do move.

I've gone the other way (back to Aus) and for the same reasons. There are things I miss about the UK and there will be things you miss about Aus. There are issues in both countries. That's not the deal breaker here.

The question you need to ask yourself is what will you regret the most? Leaving Aus or missing those family times, being there during the hard times? I decided to come back to be present. I don't regret it.

Move back to the UK but choose an affluent location within striking distance of a cool city to future proof for yourselves and your kids > teens > young adults.

Have a caravan to go to the Lakes

Truly only you know what your lives look like there, and although you can't know exactly what life would be like here, you have the best idea of whether the pros outweigh the cons!

Ignore the doom and gloom in the news for the most part. Yes things are tough in some ways including some important ones, but how much that impacts you and whether it outweighs the benefits of family etc is very personal. Do as much research as you can into how your specific situation would look, for example by speaking to recruiters or friends in your industries to get ideas of likely salaries.

DP and I (no kids) moved back after over a decade overseas. It's been a tough adjustment but the main thing is to make sure you go wholeheartedly with whichever choice you make. If it's really the wrong one, as dual citizens you can always move again if you need, obviously that would be another big change for your family, but don't spend your whole life thinking 'what if'.

Thanks for sharing. Yes I was hoping that with private insurance in the uk we would be a lot better off health wise. This is one of my biggest concerns I guess, as we are very lucky here in Perth.

Thank you, this is very helpful. I will join the group.

I have read that some housing is restricted for local occupancy, is that what you are referring to?

Yes I know what you mean. I remember that well, especially in the Lakes, as it can rain so much.

Thank you, yes I know what you mean. It is so hard, but yes I believe it probably is a lot better for kids growing up in Aus in terms of outdoor lifestyle, very good medical system, schools etc. I do feel very guilty about potentially taking them away from all that. How does one ever feel settled? I’m not sure..

Thank you, yes I completely agree and it’s so far away, that’s the thing that gets me the most. Me too, I love the history, culture and nature of England, it a tough one.

Exactly, most of my siblings abroad, Europe tho, 2 out of 3, 1in uk.
2 sons, 1 chooses to be estranged, mid stage Parkinson’s, had 3 progressive bouts this year, I’m 62, had 7 years, no real research either, or developments, as for most nuero conditions.
i’ll choose right to die when it’s right for me.
in the meantime I battle on

If private health care is only “paying a bit” then why do we get charged a fortune each month for what is predominantly a failing healthcare system

Thanks so much for sharing. Can I ask where you moved to? Which schools do you rate? We are considering villages either near Penrith or Crosthwaite near Kendal. I’m keen to have a house with a bit of land but not far from a town etc.

We used to live in Keswick and Cockermouth, but it’s a bit tricky for work and further from M6, although I know they have very good schools.

I think that’s the thing with moving to the uk, for me the Lakes is the best hybrid option-it’s still outdoorsy and people just get out there. I’m not keen on having two young preschoolers stuck indoors all the time, although I know that happens sometimes.

Yes I think so, I still miss England-the culture, history, landscape and people and its proximity to Europe.

Yes I understand what you mean, I think that is true and definitely one of the benefits of living here.

Only you can decide. My friend loves her life in Australia but misses the UK and her family. She’s been there 20 years now and is now unwell and would like to have her family close but can’t. The good bits are good but the harsh realities can hurt. I love Australia but bloody love it here. I missed the British humour more than anything when I lived there, also missed dry stone walling and proper pubs. My friends and family mean the world to me so couldn’t live away from them.

I’ve got friends who live in the Lakes who are outside all the time if that’s what you want to do. They’re always going swimming in the lakes, paddle boarding and going up the fells! Horse riding etc
I think it’s what you make of life really. Plenty of people in both countries will have personalities who prefer to do indoor or outdoor things. Not everyone in Aus goes surfing every day 🤣
Weve got lots of friends there and yes some of them due to where they live, our near the bush do have a very outdoor lifestyle. Others who live in the suburbs, well they are at work and school like the rest of us.

I remember watching that Wanted Down under programme years ago and this family were raving about how great their day had been outside with the kids in their trial living in Australia. They’d been to a zoo. Like did they never go to a zoo or wildlife park here?!!

Its very different if your kids are born elsewhere and only know that country.

My friend made what was meant to be a short term move to dubai. Ended up having two children there. She does not love it there and desperately misses family, but her children are used to the style of lifestyle, have friends and private schooling. They would be miserable back in the uk so she feels she must stay for them.

People go on and on about the "outdoor lifestyle" of Australia.

You mean the sunshine? Plenty of opportunities for outdoor activity and sport you just need warmer gear/waterproofs. My kids are never indoors

OP I've PMed you with details of the schools my DC have been to and a few thoughts about locations. Good luck with your decision making!

I don’t like that group . It’s biased and very negative about Australia. Lots of vitriol thrown around .

@fashionqueen0123 Yes, I think I saw that ‘Wanted Down Under’ programme.

Lots off people talking about moving to Australia for the ‘outside lifestyle’ who never go for a walk on the UK, even in the summer.

Or talk about increased family time, but then still have to work the same number of hours, without family support nearby.

or who’s live in a Welsh speaking area, and embrace the Welsh heritage, but want to move.

or who have never set foot in Australia, but have a dream to go there.

etc etc