To not want to work with someone because...

[Digitaldedado]

They can't spell my name correctly. A service provider has engaged with me at work and he can't spell my name right - multiple emails, not once has he got it right.
My name is in my email. I find it so off putting, it shows a lack of care. AIBU not to engage with him because of this, or am I being petty?
His level of service is pretty average at best, and I'm not tied to a PSA.

I get the male version of my name so much

"Hi Samuel"
I just reply "it's Samantha" as per my email address and signature

Absolutely infuriating - and rude and ignorant. I can't believe some people are making a multitude of excuses for it. As a few posters have said, just keep spelling their name wrong. I mean properly wrong. Call them fucking Scooby Doo or something!

This puts me in mind of an ex friend I used to have (I knew her from school.) Whenever she wrote a letter to me or sent a birthday card or Christmas card, she kept spelling my first name wrong. I've had this first name since birth and she knew it from school and yet she still kept spelling it wrong. I have no idea why. I kept correcting her but she ignored me. It is NOT a difficult name to spell. eg, it's like Suzanne, and she kept putting Suzan.

And then when I got married, she carried on continually writing to me using my maiden name. Even 10, 12, 13 years after I got married she still did it. I kept saying 'my name is Smith now, not Jones,' but she ignored me. She was pretty salty because her boyfriend dumped her after ten years, and a month after, my DH asked me to marry him. She was furious, and said 'I thought I would have been the one getting married not you!'

She never got married - and I think she was quite jealous and bitter. Even when we had children, she left them off the Christmas cards too, and completely ignored them when we saw her in town. Jealous of me being married, and jealous of me having children too. Suffice to say I just ended up ghosting her in the end.

I had tried for some years to ghost her, but she kept contacting me, and turning up. So when I moved towns, (12-13 years ago,) I didn't give her my new address. And I blocked her on Facebook. Ridiculous woman, really!

The people who persistently get it wrong in a big way can get very defensive and ragey when you make the very reasonable request that they try to get your name right.

My name is something that should be really simple, like Katie, and I have no issue with people who call me "Katy", or "Kate", but I take issue where people who work with me have called me "Joanne" "Cathy" or "Catherine" (one person at work thought they were being really smart because they disapproved that my entire name is a well-established name that in bygone times was a shortening of a longer one and they felt compelled to point out that I must be working class scum to have a short name as my whole actual name, they said as much when I corrected them and they got the whole department to call me Catherine when that is not my name and a glance at my name badge would show they were wrong). BIL also thinks he's dead clever calling me Catherine, but he's generally a dickhead and I roll my eyes and ignore him most of the time.

I don't know why it's seen by some as "petty" to want to be known by your actual name or why you're seen as hard work for pointing it out, for some people it's absolutely a power play and no matter how nicely or clearly you point it out, they turn themselves into a victim or they go on the offensive, which makes it very difficult to address it because you just know how it's going to go.

People wouldn't habitually call a fridge a toaster, they'd stand corrected if you told them it was a fridge, it would be bizarre behaviour to do anything else, so people's names should be no different.

It would annoy me. I've always copied and pasted from their email signature if it's complicated. Particularly handy for ones with accents. Politeness costs nothing in these things.

Wow. Extremely petty.

Is it the same mistake each time or different?

I'd just bin him and say that the constant mistakes in your name (despite it being in the email address) made you feel he has poor attention to detail.

I find it irritating and think it shows a general lack of care.

Once is understandable, but to keep doing it makes me think the sender is generally careless

Why is it extremely petty to not want to be called by the male version of your name?

Really? So you wouldn’t care at all if people called you Beidi00 even though, you professionally worked with them every, they can see your actual every single day because it’s in your email, and maybe because it’s not your name?

Many years ago in a meeting a lovely man, quiet and polite, stood up and yelled at to no one in particular -

"It's Philip with ONE L, P H I L I P!"
Then he sat down red faced.

This was before political correctness and he became known as 'One L' with all the crappy jokes of him being 'One L of a guy' etc but he took it in good spirits and would laugh about it.

@WillowTit
@whatisforteamum
@leafybrew

The level of disrespect and sheer lack of attention to detail would absolutely lose this service provider my custom.

The OP has said the service is not anything special. They clearly don't have great skills of observation and have shocking attention to detail.

That's not petty. It's sensible to judge a service provider on this

Send him this

there was a man i had heard of Clif
one effin cliff

I know him.

Poor Philip.

A lack of care or an intentional act of arseholery?

My sister is called Ellen and the amount of times she gets Eleanor, Helen, Emily, Ella…

I just don’t think it’s polite. It really gives the message “I don’t give a shit about what you are called only how useful you are”

On crickey. I had a member of staff who, for the first weeks they worked for me, I too spelled their name incorrectly. They also signed off their emails with the correct( of course) spelling of their name.

I was mortified when I realised and took the first chance I had to apologise to them. I also apolagised in a Team Meeting saying I'd been incorrectly addressing them for a few weeks.

The person concerned was very magnanimous about it and said they understood that I had reverted to the English rules of wording (I put a c in the name, when the name included a k).

Everyone makes mistakes. Don't judge someone on a possible mistake. Judge them on how they handle dealing with mistake, I would say.

I get this all the time and it's annoying because my email address has my full name in it!

[email protected]

You have to type Frang into the "to" box for it to auto populate my email.

Yet I STILL get emails addressed "Hi Frangypany........ "

🤦🏽‍♀️

Probably about to show my ignorance...... I understand it can be difficult recalling a spelling from memory but would someone with Dyslexia still spell a name incorrectly even if the correct spelling is right in front of them?

I've had an ongoing conversation about something similar with a couple of friends recently. They both have the view that I am being unreasonable and pedantic.

If you can't trust him to get your name right, are you going to be able to trust him to get the year end figures right, deliver on that project or request the right spec for your new car?

Unless someone has a valid reason, it just screams unprofessional.

Keep correcting him every single time he does it. If he's dyslexic your name may present a challenge for him, but people with dyslexia can learn tricks to get round these problems. I'm not dyslexic but have a visual impairment which makes picking out certain combinations of letters extraordinarily hard, and in the case of an unfamiliar name I would probably copy and paste it from the signature rather than risk mis-typing it.

It depends on how wrong it is. For example if your name is Jessika and he spells it Jessica then it's understandable enough.

I'm not sure how to say this without outing myself but I have a name that is spelt and pronounced differently to the English version but everyone (including me and my disappointed family) uses the English pronunciation.

I do get pissed off when my email address and signature gave the correct spelling and I get "the English spelling", "a bastardised version of my forrin spelling", or "the same/maybe some additional letters in some random order".

But it's good for a laugh because this very day I got a spelling I've never seen before in all my many, many years and I was bedazzled. I thought I'd seen it all and now I'm excited what else lies ahead 😂

I take that back, it's not understandable enough. It's a piss take unless it's one email to someone in a department you've never met.

I was actually thanked by an accented named colleague at a work social once for getting it right. I didn't say I copied and pasted, but he'd clearly noted how few people did bother to make sure they called him by his actual name.

My name is Sara NOT Sarah ...not just spelt differently but pronounced differently.. <sAR-a> not <sair-ah>

Literally EVERYDAY for as long as I can remember (I'm 65) .. people get it wrong.

It is literally unimportant.

I have a name that is apparently open to interpretation re pronunciation. And have got used to that. But I still expect people to spell it correctly when I've typed it in the email.

I have a first name that people often miss a letter out of and a surname that can also be a first name. I don't mind so much if people are writing down my first name after hearing it and just don't know how to spell it but emails wind me up when it's there clearly in my signature or when they start it 'Hi Surname'.
Why would my email address/signature have my first name second when everyone everyone else puts theirs first? Apply some logic please. It only takes a second to check and it's respectful to address someone correctly.
I'm often tempted to reply back with 'Hi Their Surname' but instead make a mental note of which of my colleagues don't pay attention to detail. I work with one person who consistently spells my first name wrong despite bring corrected by at least three other people (not me). I'm sure she does it on purpose because she doesn't like me.