To not want to work with someone because...

[Digitaldedado]

They can't spell my name correctly. A service provider has engaged with me at work and he can't spell my name right - multiple emails, not once has he got it right.
My name is in my email. I find it so off putting, it shows a lack of care. AIBU not to engage with him because of this, or am I being petty?
His level of service is pretty average at best, and I'm not tied to a PSA.

I’m dyslexic and spell peoples names wrong ALL the time, I even forget how to spell my adult DD’s name sometimes!

I get this all the time. My email has both my full names and I often get replies calling me by my surname which is a man's name with an S at the end.

What is the polite way of bringing this up that won't set off the other person? Because a couple of times this year with persistent offenders, I've tried to raise it carefully and tactfully after 2-3 times that they've got it wrong (in case it's just a typo) and both times I had them coming back to me in the exact same passive-aggressive tone of "So SORRY I wrote your NAME wrong I will never ever write it INCORRECTLY again. Also SORRRY for BREATHING. GODDDD!" like it's somehow me being ridiculous asking people to get my very ordinary name right in emails.

I'm starting to think there's a "type" who CBA to check people's names and therefore that you can't fix stupid.

I have a name that has a silent e at the end of it and 9 times out of 10, I could tell you how many people have emailed me without the e at the end of my name.

The E is there in my email address, it's also there in the signature at the bottom of an email I would have sent them.

So, I drop letters from their names. A bit like the woman in @TemuSpecialBuy's post - if someone asks, I'd respond that I thought it was strange as my name is clearly written yet they have a quirk that they seem to like which is dropping letters off my name so I respond in kind as some sort of bonding exercise.

You could send them an email saying matter of fact "Hi X, I've noticed that you've been sending emails to me but not using my name. My name is <insert your name> and I would really appreciate it if you could use it in emails going forward. I realise that it is possible to misspell names and to not hear names properly when they are spoken but as my name is in my signature and in the addressee line of the email so again, I'd really appreciate it if you could spell my name as it's written. Thanks - <insert your name here>"

If a polite reminder doesn't work - then I might actually give consideration to taking it to your manager saying that you've put up with the incorrect name for X length of time, you asked politely that they use your correct name and they consistently don't and now you're basically asking them to intervene because from where you sit, if they can't get your name correct you'd be concerned how many other little things might they be letting slide and you're escalating it to them now. (Last resort after trying everything else)

I suspect with these nasty bullying types, you might have done better to be firm and assertive rather than 'tactful'.

I have an unusual name and work in a professional environment with suppliers. I let them get away with it once. If they do it a second time I email back saying “please note my name is x not x. I’d be grateful if you could address me correctly in future correspondence”.

Just be direct about it. No need for gentle reminders.

It's not petty at all. One of the things we learnt in childcare training is to never spell the child's name incorrectly, even if they're far too young to know. It's disrespectful and we used to check and double check if it was an unusual spelling, there's really no excuse for it.

I have this too. My name is a shortening of a longer name and people always call me a different version of the shortening, despite it being my email and my sign off etc

My sister also spells it wrong.

Yes, this. Personally I'd just write "Please note my name is X, not Y" but anything short is fine. Don't use the paragraph of waffle a pp suggested.

You would be unreasonable to refuse to work with him without doing this first.

Apart from the disrespect, getting peoples names wrong can cause communication problems. I used to get sent confidential emails in error because of people missing the final e from a French HR colleague's name. And I need to make sure I'm getting the right spelling if I'm referring to my colleagues Christoph, Christophe, Christoff, Christopher or Kr.... sorry, I need to c&p the Polish one

I had a line manager that used to do this, in her case it was to be demeaning as she’d spell it right on most things but spell it incorrectly on anything where i received public praise and laugh in my face about it.

Good to know that you think dyslexic people are lazy, I mean it's not as if we've had that abilist abuse leveled at us for years along with stupid, though 10/10 for the poster who threw out plebs as a new insult.
Here's some information for you about dyslexia, most of us don't read the way you do we've had to learn to pattern recognise written words in the same way that computers used to (back in the 90s and 00s). An example of this would be when I was typing Starmer and my auto correct was changing it to Stammer and I couldn't see that it was the wrong word no matter how many times I proof read it, it took someone else pointing it out to me and having someone "fix" my auto correct so it stopped changing it.
Oh and having a name spelt correctly on the email I'm responding to doesn't help in the least, but you just go on assuming that we're all just lazy

You are rather petty but it would annoy me too. A neighbour of mine used to send me a Christmas card (she died a few years ago) and always misspelled my name. It's ONE SYLLABLE. It used to piss me off

This would wind me up as well. I get it a lot and my name is uncommon but not difficult to spell (literally four letters) and I also find it frustrating when people don’t get it correct when you’ve literally given it to them in black and white.

I know with mine it is often changed by autocorrect but IMO it just means that they aren’t paying attention to detail or proofreading in a professional setting. I wouldn’t want to be associated with their work if it were being presented to a client. If they spell a clients name wrong of course the client will notice and that gives a bad impression.

Keep spelling his name wrong until he gets the hint.

Oh and having a name spelt correctly on the email I'm responding to doesn't help in the least, but you just go on assuming that we're all just lazy

As you know this is a problem for you, why don't you copy and paste someone's name instead of typing it? It would usually only be needed once per email and as you can see, it's very important to many.

My name is unusual and linked to my cultural background. I work in a multi national company. While I have been pleasantly surprised by the people who clearly make an effort to understand how to pronounce my name if we are on a call together that does not extend to e mails and it’s regularly misspelt. The worst offenders by far are English men. It’s consistently done by some even though it’s in my e mail and signature. I have no idea if it’s deliberate or carelessness but I don’t like it and feel it’s disrespectful to both me and my culture

Yanbu.
Do not engage if you do not have to.

Depends. If the service he's providing is one where written accuracy and attention to detail is important, yes its off putting. If its the guy who empties the bins and replaces the toilet roll, I'd not be too fussed.

Because if the name isn't stored correctly in the computers dictionary it still changes it when I spell check the email as in starmer and Stammer 😥😡

If you've copy and pasted the name, you know you don't need to change it if spell check suggests something else. 😀

So you need to get into the habit of this:
(1) new email received. ... Kind regards Arne Blaught (i) Highlight Arne - add to dictionary (ii) Highlight Blaught - add to dictionary
(2) Next time you send a message, find a message with their name in it. (If their email address is their name, even easier.)

All these replies saying she should correct him - her emails to him are literally doing that every time! The correct spelling will be staring at him from his email inbox, and from the sign off in every email she sends him. The onus should be on him to not be sloppy/dismissive/dim.

And I bet that he has no problems getting the spelling right correct when he’s emailing someone senior to him who he wants to impress.

I have a friend like that too. Just because DD's name has a K in it, doesn't mean DS's is spelt with a K too!
Also MIL. OK so DD's name is a variant spelling but there is a prominent person with that spelling and it's pretty usual, but MIL made up her own spelling and kept asking why we didn't go for that one!

YABU

There are 2 ways of spelling my name and people get it wrong all of the time.

Why would it bother me.
I’m sure I get spellings wrong too.

Him saying “hi mate” is not offensive either.
He probably just says this to everyone.

I know multiple women who call everyone mate.

Are you hoping he’d treat you differently because you are a woman?

Stop trying to find things to be offended about.

His level of service is pretty average at best

That doesn't surprise me @Digitaldedado . If he's so insecure he needs to make himself feel better by misspelling your name I wouldn't have much faith in his work.