Psychiatrist asked me to leave the room for 10 Minutes to talk to Dd

[Nomoreicecreamnow]

Dd is 6 and over the summer developed anger and ocd after being ill. I’ve taken her to numerous Drs and they advised a child psychiatrist. I took her to a really nice lady and we had a very thorough two hour appointment. Towards the end, she asked if I minded stepping into the waiting room for her to chat to her alone, I felt a bit strange about it, but did it.
I’m just curious if this is normal procedure and what she would have asked Dd, I haven’t asked Dd as don’t want her stressed out
Dr and Dd seemed fine when I came back in and carried on as usual.

Of course it’s normal. Your dd is the patient. Though I have to say the whole thing is very odd. Are you in the uk?

@BitOutOfPractice No, not the uk

Why is it odd?

should be a chaperone too

@Guavafish1 No, just them

@BitOutOfPractice At 6 though?

Seems reasonable that they'd want to ask safeguarding questions without you there.

I wouldn’t have felt comfortable. 6 is so young. I can’t imagine a doctor would ever ask you to leave the room so why should a physiatrist be any different.

They need to find out if you're the problem. Your daughter may be intimidated or worried about saying anything bad about you, in front of you.

@BabyCloud Yes I was a bit taken aback, not being sexist, but her being young and kind I felt ok ish, but if it had been a male, would they ask the same? I wouldn’t have felt comfortable and would have said no

@KrisAkabusi Yes I thought that as I was in the waiting room, just felt awkward

Please look into PANS PANDAS and consider posting in the PP UK charity Facebook support group

Of course you'd have been asked the same if you were male - in fact surely particularly!

Just realised you're talking of the psychiatrist being male? Either way of course your DD needs to be given an opportunity to speak without you present, or her Dad.

@NeverDropYourMooncup What do they ask? So curious but don’t want to ask Dd
Never been through this before, I was surprised I suppose

Very normal in my experience.

We took DS to a psychiatrist for anxiety and school refusal aged 8. (ins company wouldn't pay for counselling without it). He spoke to DS alone too. We were fine with it. It informed his report.

@BMW6 No, sorry, I mean if the psychiatrist had been a man? Would you want to leave them
alone in the room for 10 minutes? Or is that just over paranoid

@Twentybottlesofbeer I was fine with it, just wanted to check it was normal practice

You can say no. DD2 (17) has a psychiatrist and he always asks to speak to her alone. She always shakes her head and I have to say "DD2 isn't comfortable with that". Every time, he comes up with a different way of slipping it into the introductions, and every time DD2 refuses.

It's his job to ask, and it's my job to respect DD2's wishes and refuse.

@quarterofanonion Thank you 🙏 yes I’m in all the groups, psychiatrist was great and suspects post illness inflammation too, we just have to have further blood tests to rule things out

@Lougle Yes, Dd was ok with it and I was close by, but yes if she didn’t want to, I’d support her in that too. I honestly wonder though if it was a male how I’d feel leaving Dd so young

DS saw a counsellor from about 7 onwards and for the first couple of sessions I went in with him to allow him to settle, then I left the room after about 10 minutes or so. After the first few sessions I just went in for the last 5 minutes or so for a quick handover. Even at that age, there was a degree of confidentiality.

Ex psychologist here.

Yes, it's normal with primary age kids and older, and is partly safeguarding. A parent refusing or kicking off about the child being spoken to without the parent present can be a red flag. The child not wanting the parent to leave would be different, of course - we would find a different way of managing it so as not to cause undue distress.

It can also help a professional as part of the assessment process to see how a child is with and without a parent, how they react to the parent leaving the room, how they interact with someone they don't know. If you only ever see the child with a parent, you can't see how they might be in other contexts.

My daughter had severe school anxiety. She was seen by a therapist recommended by the school and the council. She came to our house and met us all. After that, all sessions were just her and my daughter. We waited in the car and went in after 20 minutes. Whatever she did worked. She was back to her normal self after 6 weeks of play therapy.

Absolutely normal, as it should be. Not all parents are good people. The psychiatrist has no idea where you fit into the spectrum. So there are questions they need to sensitively ask, in conditions where the child is not influenced by the parent's presence.

I remember seeing a child psychologist when I was about 12. My mum was asked to leave after five minutes, and the rest of the appointment was just the psych and me.
My mum was desperate to know what he'd asked, when it was over. I played dumb.

Very normal. Questions they may ask can be about thoughts of violence or aggression towards themselves, others or if they feel unsafe at all.

Basically they ask things that a child may not want to be open about in front of their parent.

I’m interested to hear you would have not allowed it if it was a male. Are you insinuating that you think a male psychiatrist may harm your child while a female one would not?