Psychiatrist asked me to leave the room for 10 Minutes to talk to Dd

[Nomoreicecreamnow]

Dd is 6 and over the summer developed anger and ocd after being ill. I’ve taken her to numerous Drs and they advised a child psychiatrist. I took her to a really nice lady and we had a very thorough two hour appointment. Towards the end, she asked if I minded stepping into the waiting room for her to chat to her alone, I felt a bit strange about it, but did it.
I’m just curious if this is normal procedure and what she would have asked Dd, I haven’t asked Dd as don’t want her stressed out
Dr and Dd seemed fine when I came back in and carried on as usual.

I think there are some things a child may not be able to share infront of a parent. No it’s never comfortable leaving your child like that but then you aren’t the patient, she is. I would probably always choose a female psychiatrist to see my DD though.

Really glad to hear that and hope you get the much needed help.
For both our children the psychiatrist has spoken to each child individually without parents (one child it was the psychiatrist and a colleague training as well and we gave consent for that too).

Don't know. I left the room so they could ask her the questions.

Wish it had been a thing when I was a kid.

Was just coming to say this.

I think they should always speak to the child alone. Collectively a lot of children's psychiatric problems are due to abuse from parents or family or issues that a child might not want parents to know about. This is a lot more likely than a psychiatrist doing anything to a child.

I'm not sure if this has been mentioned by others but have your considered PANS / PANDAS

Its not just psychiatrists/counsellors that do this. I had to take my DD to A&E earlier this year and they asked me to leave the examination room for 5 minutes for the doctor to speak to her privately, I'm assuming to ask safeguarding questions.

This is new they didn't do that 12 years ago. I had to wait with my dd in a&e for 2 hours. They probably contacted the school to confirm it was their play equipment and not me who hurt her.

I was also about to say this.

Yes this is exactly what I was going to say. OCD brought in after an illness is a classic sign of PANDAS.

Agree with PP - this is good practice and to be encouraged.

Your DD is the patient and you being in the room will have an effect on your child and on the session.

Part of being a good parent is accepting that you sometimes need to step aside and let the professionals do their work without you there - which is what you did.

I would do this if chaperoned no way in hell without chaperoning. 2 incidents in my own family of adults being inappropriately touched by medical professionals within the last 5 years not to mind the risk to children. In one instance the doctor was later fired (there had been more than one instance) no way a single child should be left alone at that age with a single adult, safeguarding in schools, sports, hobby activities etc tell adults not to be alone with a single child. Professionals should absolutely be at the same bar.

Sadly in many cases the problem is the parent/s.

So it makes sense the psychiatrist should want to speak to your DC in private without you.

But also sadly, two of my #metoo moments in my 20s were at the hands of male HCPs; one GP, one optician.

I would insist on a chaperone being present.

Lots of children keep things from parents and it's standard to have time with the child at the end as they're comfortable having been there with the parent.
Its usually normal stuff like 'how's school?''what do you like doing at home?' Etc your child might be more likely to say she's being bullied (but doesn't want to worry you) or whatever. It's nothing to worry about

It's normal. You can refuse if you want.
To be working as a child psychiatrist they will obviously have been dbs checked.
They will be looking to see if the child responds better without the parent.. not just to see if the parent is the problem but sometimes the child might not want to upset the parent by disclosing negative feelings or experiences etc
You can refuse it but I personally wouldn't as it might help your child open up. Children want to please their parents, sometimes they might not fully explain what's going on whilst the parent is present, or they might not be honest.

@OrangeCarrot I don’t think I’d feel comfortable leaving her with a man, no. I think I would allow it but ask for someone else to be present, even if just the receptionist etc if no nurse available, is that weird? Just very hard to leave my 6 year old with a stranger basically and yes, it’s worse to me it it’s a man-just being honest

First time I saw a psychiatrist I was nine or ten, so a fair bit older, but I would assume there are similarities in why/how it's done.

My experience is that a good chunk of the no-parent conversation can consist of asking some of the same questions again, maybe worded a bit differently. I guess it's to see if the child gives the same kinds of answers when there's no parent there potentially cueing certain kinds of preferred responses, inhibiting what the child feels able to say just by being there, or even actively answering for the child.

They often seem to ask questions designed to get at a better understanding of how things generally are at home from the child's perspective, and questions aimed at understanding what relationships between family members are like, how the child perceives them and so on. Not necessarily just looking for signs of abuse — obviously a kid's understanding or experience of what's going on, expectations, etc. aren't necessarily the same as how the parent assumes the kid is seeing things, and that perspective might not be able to find through with the parent there.

Then there's questions about thoughts, feelings and actions that kids might not want to reveal in front of parents, maybe things they fear would upset or worry their parents, or embarrassing things.

The specifics would be different at different ages, but this is my experience of what actually happens when the parents are asked to step out for a few minutes.

It may be the norm for therapy, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. Yes, it could be a way for a professional to rule out that parents are the problem, but also, as so many kids are in therapy these days, it does make me wonder if this practice harms healthy parent-child relationships by the suggestion that maybe your parents don't know better than other adults. FWIW, I would NEVER have allowed that without a third party chaperone. I think there's something critical about our mother's instincts and this is overriding yours, which you should listen to, IMO.

???

Errr - psychiatrists are "doctors"*...

Or at least they are in the UK. (I note the OP has said that they aren't in the UK).

Of course it might be that the OP is confused and has taken their child to a clinical psychologist or other (qualified or unqualified) therapist and not a psychiatrist - or clinical psychologist.

There are very vaild safeguarding reasons why any clinician might want to speak to the child separately from the parent.

*In the UK a clinical psychologist is more likely to have a doctorate qualification than a "medical doctor" - but lets not get into that...

safeguarding in schools, sports, hobby activities etc tell adults not to be alone with a single child. Professionals should absolutely be at the same bar

This is simply not true. School staff are frequently alone with a single child.

I wanted to echo to please look into PANDAS.

My kids saw several at this age. It was so hard finding one they'd talk to. Always saw the person alone for the majority of the appointment.

Try your kid on some probiotics. I had some gut issues recently and my anxiety went through the roof. I had read vaguely about there being a connection but wouldn’t have believed it until I experienced it

It’s a psych appointment of course they’re going to explore issues without you there as your child may not be comfortable saying things in front of you (or at least in some cases this may be true and they need to explore this). Or I’d imagine in some cases the parent(s) may be part of the problem hence confidential chats required. Psychiatrists are Doctors it’s not as though it’s a random therapist with six months training and possibly minimal checks you’re leaving your child alone with.

This is mad, your Dd is 17 she needs to be seen alone, why are you speaking for her ? To me this is far more worrying than whether a 6 yo is seen alone or not ( I start seeing children alone from around 10, I am not perscriptive about it, but by 17 I would expect the parent waited outside).