AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

[notaurewhatusername]

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

He isn't telling you the truth.

If the cats had clean trays, they's be using them.

Cats fouling the house probably means their trays are dirty.

If you go on holiday are you coming back to a weeks worth of cat faeces and urine all over your home? Even if they’re kept to 2 rooms that must really smell, if they have the run of the house that’s even worse.

Your house MUST really smell and the thought of cats toileting everywhere with a baby soon to be in the house is disgusting. You can’t allow this to continue. He’d either be rehoming all the cats or I would be moving out, I couldn’t live like this.

It doesn't sound true.

Sounds like you as a family are not suited to cat ownership in any way. You don't like them and your husband isn't taking the necessary steps to meet their needs. Cats are extremely clean animals and messing everywhere is a clear sign that they are stressed and unsettled.
Find them the loving home they deserve and give your new baby the clean home he/she deserves. You'll all be happier.

If they have a cat flap and spend time outdoors why don’t you train them to poo/wee out there?

He's now got angry and said I'm exaggerating it;

So just for reclassification; two of them the indoor cats poo probably once a week somewhere random

The wee is often in the bath from one in particular and this is a new trend that they've done three times in the last fortnight

I still think this is massively abnormal but DY is very arrogant and is saying it isn't that often

@Lancasterel how can you do that?

If you don’t sort it, once the baby comes and if the midwife or health visitor pop round, pretty sure they’ll be making notes about a dirty/ neglectful home if there’s animal faeces everywhere.

Maybe your DH will sort out the problem if you explain the above and he realises there’s a very real chance of having a social services visit if the situation isn’t dealt with.

My son used to really 'dislike' cats and was a dog person.

He's completely changed since his Girlfriend has a cat. He loves the cat and cleans her litterbox and food bowls probably more regularly than his girlfriend does..they are always immaculate.

The fundamental problem is there are too many cats, for both them and you. Each cat is a responsibility. When the baby comes, are they going to slip further down the list?

On going away, many people would say leaving cats in their own homes is less stressful and someone coming in twice a day is fine imo. If your husband is scooping poo regularly and changing the litter every few days then that’s fine too. But is he, as that sounds a lot of work.

Apart from the cat welfare issue, my red flag would be railroading you/not listening to you not wanting cats. There are plenty of threads on here about persuading a partner to get a cat and he’s just gone ahead and ended up with four?

Yes, you cannot have cats around newborns. Especially cats that poo and wee everywhere. Get them out of your home now.

Why when there’s an issue does everyone start saying ‘rehome’ like they’re old shoes/bags.

No, you’ve taken the poor things on, it’s their home & you’re responsible for them. Do the right thing for them & look after them properly I.e clean the shit out of the cat litter more frequently, get Feliway etc.

No wonder the rescue centres are on their absolute knees🙄

Don’t be so ridiculous, cats are perfectly fine round newborns. The op isn’t licking up all their shit🙄

It doesn’t bear thinking about 😫🤦‍♀️ Why on earth is OP putting up with this horrible situation. It’s disgusting.

I've had 4 cats and never had anything like this. We didn't even have 1 litter tray. They all went out. These cats are severely stressed.

If this was true it would be fine. But his story keeps changing, and also the cats’ behaviour suggests they are not happy with their trays. If the trays are truly immaculate but the cats are still toileting everywhere then you have other and bigger problems because there is something wrong physically or emotionally with them which needs solving.

You need a litter robot. Best money you’ll spend. Also take the cats to the vet to rule out infections.

This says scoop out daily but change once a week?

DH is changing once every 2-3 days the whole thing.

I know nothing about cats I'm just the one fed up

That's nonsense. Of course you can have cats around new borns.

@StarDolphins The rescues are full of cats who are dumped after a baby is born, though most people claim the child has an ‘allergy’. People don’t take responsibility even though it’s a living being, I’ll never get my head round it.

The upshot is that you cannot bring a new born back to a situation like this. It’s disgusting and the house must be full of germs. Your husband can make all the excuses he likes and change his story to suit his own narrative but it doesn’t change the fact that the situation is completely unreasonable. Frankly I would leave him with his cats and move out.

You're neglectful. Scooping 3 litter trays twice a day, morning and evening and cleaning out fully every 2 or 3 days should be fine. The cats are stressed. You don't like them and they won't be happy in an environment of arguments and resentment.

Peeing in the bath is a sign of cystitis - stress related probably.

Er - yes. Actually you really can have cats around newborns.

I think that’s what normally happens isn’t it?
We did it both times we had cats from kittens anyway. Our current two stayed inside for a few months with a litter tray before they were fully jabbed, used to their surroundings etc, and then we put a cat flap in and trained them… you start by putting the litter tray just outside the cat flap and plonking them on it, showing them where it is etc etc and then move it gradually further away down the garden… our final step (advised by a friend!) was after a few days to sprinkle some of the litter granules at the edge of the garden so they can smell it when they come back from exploring or whatever, and then that was it.

I think it’s pretty normal to train cats to go outside. Lots of advice on Google as well.

It’s not OP’s fault. She made her position clear at the outset.