To have put it on fb?

[Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead]

Elderly relative had a big birthday last week. We are a tiny family so l took on the lion's share of organising everything and went all out with a gift, meals and a lovely day out doing something she has been wanting to do for ages. Spent a fortune but just wanted to make her happy. She told everyone from waiters to people on the train that she was celebrating her big birthday so l thought it was ok to not keep it a secret. Did a little fb post saying happy birthday with a lovely picture of her which in hindsight was stupid of me cos she's not on there but one of her neighbours saw it and she has had a proper pop at me tonight and told me to take it down immediately. Said l have really upset her by doing that which l am mortified about.
Feel like shit now after what was such a lovely few days and think l have ruined all the memories we made. Aarrgghh why did l do that?

I agree with this - and I am not on Facebook and never allowed any pics of my DC on there.

Your relative should have said that she’d rather not have the photo on Facebook - but thanked you for a lovely day. She seriously forgot her manners.

I understand the impulse to post but Facebook isn't safe. Can you set up a WhatsApp family group or something like that and share photos there instead? Sounds like it was a wonderful birthday celebration!

If she’s not on FB, why would you put it on there? She’s not going to see it.
I do find these ‘performance posts’ very strange.

I would be very angry if anyone posted a photo of me on Facebook or any other social media platform for any reason. I have never posted an image of me or a family member anywhere on line and never will. It was a huge invasion of your relative's privacy. The incident may have left a bitter taste in your mouth, but I'm sure it has done the same for your relative.

As PPs have already pointed out, it's publicising the date and year of my birth that would annoy me from a security (not vanity) viewpoint.

Couldn't agree more.

I'm not really on Facebook anymore (still have an account but don't really use it).

I don't think you should have posted without permission but it's sorted now so don't worry too much about it.

If your relative was very rude and ungrateful I would seriously consider whether I wanted to ever go to a lot of effort for her again- yes she can decide this isn't a minor issue for her, but you can also decide whether you do nice things for her.

Attention seeking🤣

@Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead You've asked on the wrong board, people on here will be contrary for the sake of it.

Anyway, I know just what you mean OP. My mum is like this. Doesn't understand Facebook and despite me explaining privacy tools, she's still convinced that anything posted on Facebook is seen by EVERYONE! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I once posted an anonymous question on a diy group about my mum's aqua panels in her bathroom. Just a simple question that my mum had been struggling with.
I told her I'd posted & some of the helpful answers and she absolutely exploded like I've never seen before. It took days before I could get a word in, to explain that it was an anonymous question without our names and there were no photos!

Oh wow really? Maybe it is a generational thing.
I posted on here for traffic but l know some replies can be far more brutal than is warranted.
Yes she def thinks the whole world has seen it - but really l don't have that many fb friends compared to some people!