Wedding photos

[Strawbsss]

My brother got married last weekend.

Lots of family photos taken by a photographer.

Family and bride and groom are now sharing these photos online.

Sister has now kicked off as she doesn't want her kids pictures on the internet.

This has been her wish since the kids were born and we always respect it, but she actively got her children in multiple photos on the day. She has even added random guests from the wedding to ensure they haven't uploaded any.

Brother has now removed them.

AIBU to think this is a bit shit? My brother has paid a lot of money for these photos and now he cannot share a set amount because sister says so.

Tell me if I'm being a crank but I just think if she felt that strongly about her kids ending up online, she shouldn't have pushed them into photos?

Thanks all. A mixed bag, which I did expect.

I was just wondering what other people thought as naturally, I'm stuck in the middle of them both.

He can share them 🙄. Just needs to be as a print copy or in real life. And of course she wanted her kids photographed.

It depends. If she has elbowed her way to the front of both of the photographs with the kids then I can see how that would be annoying, albeit not exactly unreasonable for her to not want her kids on facebook. If she is only in a few your brother can just take those few off facebook

I'm not sure why you need to be in the middle. It's basically boiling down to the fact he thinks posting this photo on social media is more important than his nieces right to not be posted online. I'm genuinely surprised anyone thinks he's being reasonable to be honest.

Actually they do not. Once again a blatant misunderstanding of copyright and your rights.

As the sister does not own copyright to the photos she has zero say in what is done with them or where they are posted. Even if her sibling takes them down they will likely be posted elsewhere as photographers use photos as promotional tools.

The photographer holds full copyright and can rightly without permission post them anywhere he/she wants, use them for promotions, in advertisements, on Facebook, for competitions, in portfolios or anything else they choose.

The sister is not even the client so does not have the contract or any stance to complain of breaches. It is HER job to understand the laws of copyright but she cannot change them with a strop because she doesn't like them.

What harm will befall the nieces if their photo is posted online (a photo where they are two out of 200 guests so nobody would be looking at them)? Will this stupid rule continue so that eg they can’t be in class photos because one of the parents might post a copy of it on their SM? It’s seriously ridiculous unless there’s a serial killer stalking them who will now be able to track them down.

Front and centre of the group photo.

I honestly respect her wishes for not wanting her kids online, I always have and never post them from our family holidays etc.

He shared one photo with them in as it was the photo with EVERY guest on. Presumably so those who weren't in the more intimate photos could see themselves.

He also didnt actively say "I'm posting this photo with your kids on it" - just posted it with a selection of other photos. I dont even think he thought of it in the moment.

My photographer was brilliant he made sure everyone had a chance to get out the group photo if they didn't want it on the Internet and I had a couple of people who didn't want to be photographed so I just let him know. Your brother should have done that

Because he wants to post a group photo from his wedding?? You know, like a normal person. What is not normal is his sisters behaviour. If this is her stance then her kids can’t be in any pictures. She has no legal rights to her children’s image in any event

He still got married and had a nice day and those people still attended and had a lovely time. I'm assuming he's still happily married. So what's he moaning about? Not being able to show off on bloody Facebook??

You’re just a dick if you post a photo publicly online of anyone, adult or child, who doesn’t want it shared.

The sister’s behaviour is completely normal and rational, many parents don’t want their children shared online.

It's very strange to me that people think the sisters viewpoint is not normal. It's a pretty standard thing to not want your children on social media.

I agree.

In a group photo of 200 people? Nope sorry that’s not the same as not wanting loads and loads of pics of just them on there. Literally every time you’re out in public you are probably in the background of someone’s pictures and end up on social media. Nobody will be looking at them or even notice them in the wedding pictures.

By being in the wedding picture by implication you are consenting to it being shared or displayed in other locations, including online. Why did the mum allow them to be in a picture if she doesn’t want their image shared with anyone?

It depends. Is your sister normally easy-going and good to get along with...or is she given to wanting influence and control over proceedings?

I understand her stance because I don't put my kids out there either...but personally speaking, I wouldn't take issue with them being in a large group photo at a wedding.

That's why I ask.

She should have done a group photo with her children, then moved them out of the shot so that they could get one that they could share if they wanted.

But she also needs to realise that she doesn't actually own the photos and it's not up to her where they go. So she shouldn't have had them be in any if she was concerned about this.

I don't post pictures of my children online, but wouldn't be bothered by a group picture of a couple of hundred wedding guests.

In a group of 200?
Don't put them the picture in the first place.

I think it's really weird that your brother would rather plaster photos of his own nieces and nephews over the internet than use the emojis to block their faces out, which is a perfectly normal practice.

I expect your sister imagined the photos would end up on the wall, not on social media.

I think it's really weird that you think two small faces with 198 others in one photograph is 'plastering photos over the internet'.

Oh yeah because nobody ever puts their wedding pictures on social media. Because it’s 1994 of course, not 2024.

Completely agree with the sister. I also would be furious and hate the thought of my kids photos online.

My family would respect this and blur the faces or stick an emoji over them

Personally I'd be fine with family wedding photos being shared (but share very few photos of my kids myself) but I don't think the sister's stance is unreasonable at all here. It's a bit strict but that's her call as a parent.

Covering their faces with emojis is a perfectly sensible way of handling it, and if your brother knows her position on photos he should've done it first.

And of course she wanted her kids in the group photo. Photos aren't just for social media, they're for posterity.

Thankfully even in futuristic 2024, the people I know IRL know better than to share photos of other people's children online without permission.

@KrisAkabusi of course it is, once a photo is public on Facebook you forfeit control of what happens to it or where else it gets shared.

It’s very easy to put stickers over their faces. If this had always been her stance and she’s consistent about it I don’t know why everyone is surprised just because it’s a wedding.