Get off your phone and supervise your toddler!

[Toddlerteaplease]

Kid of about 15 months just wandering round Caffè Nero. She's very interested in the hot drinks on low tables. She's approaching other people and playing with their phones. Mum is completely oblivious on her phone. FFS supervise your toddler!

@HappierTimesAhead

so? She can be? She’s not the one with a child to look after.

What do you expect a bunch of people on the internet to do 🤔

I'm trying to be mindful of that myself, and try and stay off my tablet when DS is awake. He's currently asleep in my arms and so I can get away with it. 😁 But I do chat to him when we're out, he smiles and giggles when I talk to him now, and I think that's better than anything online. 😊

I presume she isn't on her phone while a child she is responsible for is wandering around a cafe approaching strangers and investigating hot drinks though 🙄

I always feel obligated to jump into the mother-on-phone-judgement threads to remind people that phones are needed for literally everything these days. Taxis, maps, doctors, school info, booking softplay, banking etc etc etc. So yes she might be doomscrolling Tinder or Til Tok and ignoring her child which is of course crap parenting. But she might also just have one eye on the very active small child another trying to download the latest version of Uber so she can get them both a taxi home (or something equally as tedious and attention sapping and necessary).

I hate it. I raised my own toddlers and am not remotely interested in other people’s children when I’m trying to get a bit of adult time in a coffee shop.

i Would tell the child to go back and sit with mummy. There are playgrounds for children to wander around. Get a takeaway coffee and take your child there.

The OP is on here showing concern for a child. Why is she being heckled and made out to be a monster. Also No I don’t think toddlers no matter how cute they are should be walking up to random adults to chat. Not only because of hot drinks but because of potential stranger danger. Anyone could be anyone. You’re like a group of 14 year old mean girls, grow up FFS

It's not really concern though is it as it sounds like OP is more interested in getting people to froth about it on here than actually try to prevent any harm coming to the child.

It's not OPs responsibility at all and parents like this are a waste of space, but let's not pretend OP is actually concerned. She just fancied a bit of gossiping an attention.

She allowed to be, she doesn't have a legal responsibility to be in charge of the child's safety.

Everyone saying to OP to take the child back to the mother... its not OPs job and no one should do that. That then empowers these people to think others are watching their kids, the village will do it for me and they are entitled not too not bother. The child is then as a result in danger, if they are brazenly like this in public think what they must be like at home.

Not that you should have to do anything but if you do then you take the child to a authority figure and tell them they are wandering alone in an unsafe place and not being supervised by an adult.

Really the only thing that will have any impact is if everyone reports the neglect the see happening, they then build up otherwise eventual they child will get hurt (possibly seriously) because everyone ignored it.

How can she get an uber with a toddler and presumably no car seat?

Not her toddler,is it?

No, but it is your job to tell the parent you're concerned. Are you scared to say something to the parent?

I mean, it would probably be good for the mother to hear that. But not your circus, so up to you whether you say anything.

Maybe mum is not that bright and needs advising? Or, you could video the situation and shame her on SM, because bystanding and showboating that you see the danger, but aren't willing to do something about it other than post, is not going prevent a potential accident 😏How odd to advertise you see the danger, but aren't willing to educate.

You’re like a group of 14 year old mean girls, grow up FFS

Is this your first day on Mumsnet? 😂

Blimey, why is the OP getting a hard time about this? It's a forum, people are supposed to chat, aren't they?

It's not her child and It's not her job to parent the adult either!

Well that could be said for every single thread on AIBU couldn’t it. So with the greatest respect that’s just a silly statement

How about you tell us which cafe it is and all these Mumsnetters who simply can't stand idly by can jump in their cars and do something about it instead of just complaining on here

So? She's not neglecting a toddler.

Thanks. I was genuinely concerned that she was going to get hurt. However I don't see why I should have to be supervising her. I'm not her parent. Children and hot drinks get me twitchy.

Eh? I doubt the OP objects to phone use altogether! She probably just objects to focusing on your phone and ignoring your own toddler!

Bloody hell. What's going on with Mumsnet recently. OP is just having a discussion. If it winds you up maybe find another thread.

I've stopped going to cafes now as they're just full of this kind of thing. I used to be a person who'd gently redirect ambling toddlers but the last time I did it, the mum told me to stop being such a "busybody dickhead". Oddly enough I'm less inclined to bother now.

I'm sure lots will be along to do the whole "you're only seeing a snapshot", "parents need a break too" and my all-time favourite, "stop parent-shaming", but in reality we all regularly see people on their phones ignoring their kids.

Thanks. I was genuinely concerned that she was going to get hurt. However I don't see why I should have to be supervising her. I'm not her parent. Children and hot drinks get me twitchy.

No one said you had to supervise the child, you could have just ignored her, or if you were genuinely concerned, you would have said something to the mother or staff. Instead you did nothing but post on here. 😂

These two statements directly contradict each other. If you have a genuine concern for the child's safety then you need to tell someone. If you don't want to address the parent directly then you can tell a member of staff.

Of course, if you just want to froth with like-minded souls about parents today then do crack on, but maybe say as much in your OP.