To keep going to a hairdresser that makes me feel uncomfortable?

[HonestFinch]

I’ve been going to the same hairdresser for a while, and while he does a good job, he’s made it clear that he’s interested in pursuing me sexually. This has made me feel quite uncomfortable during my appointments. The problem is, he knows my hair well and is reasonably priced, so I keep going back. But every time, I feel uneasy. Should I find someone new, or am I overreacting by letting this get to me?

He probably just does it to get more tips. I'd just say that it won't work on you and you're happy to give a tip for good hair and less sexual harassment.

Ew. I wouldn't ever return. Icky.

I wouldn't go back. There are other hairdressers and he sounds like a creep, assuming you've made it clear you're not interested in him other than in a professional way.

Tell him you've gotten married.

Gross that a woman has to resort to that but it's usually what works with creeps

1. @MooDeng - amazing name
2. do this. Or fabricate a boyfriend/talk about your real partner ad nauseum and how gross cheating is as well as men that don't take no for an answer

He probably does that to all woman. Most likely thinks that he is god's gift to women. i had to deal with that a few times at work. Does he own the salon?

Yeah he owns the salon

I couldn't believe it wasn't taken yet 🤣

My male stylist owns the salon with another male stylist, they are both lovely blokes, both married with kids and I’ve been going there for years. I have experienced situations the OP describes though and it’s awful. I’d just stop going.

I would assume he thinks he’s flattering you and that he does this to all his female clients — what is he actually saying or doing? Can you just say ‘Look, Nigel, let’s just drop the pretence that you’re desperate to get into my knickers. You’re great with my hair. I don't want to switch hairdressers but if I will if you don’t stop’?

This is perfect!

I’ve been going to him since I was 19 (I’m 31 now). When I was 20, there was an incident when another hairdresser stepped out, and it was just the two of us. He forced a hug on me and asked if I’d “been with anyone before.’ I brushed it off, and thankfully, that kind of behaviour stopped for a while. In hindsight, I know I shouldn’t have continued going, but things were mostly okay after that point.

A few years ago, though, he started asking inappropriate questions, like “who visits your house at night?” I told him it was none of his business and continued going.

This weekend, however, after my appointment, he came to my car and propositioned me directly. He told me he wanted to “see how things go” between us, alluding to sex. He also made some inappropriate comments about why I should be open to it, despite not being in a relationship with him, saying I “won’t know until I’ve tried.” I felt incredibly uncomfortable.

Of course you should go somewhere else!

Goodness me, where's your self respect?

I would stop going and consider reporting him as a sex pest. He may have a record for this for all you know and / or could be harassing other young girls.
If you keep letting this creep touch you to cut your hair he might lie that you are sending signals that you accept his behaviour should he try to force worse on you at a later date.
Is your hair style really worth the risk to you and potentially others?

No need for that tone at all.

I also meant to add in my other comment to you that he’s also been calling me and texting me good morning since Saturday, but I’ve ignored all of it.

Some creepy blokes actually like the thought of you being married as they often are themselves, and think you might be up for a no strings attached fling!

@HonestFinch sorry, reading my comment back it sounded much harsher than I meant it to.

It's just that you shouldn't be putting yourself in the way of sleazy comments from a man when there's an easy way to stop it, in other words, by not going back. It's a pity you have to do that, but being made to feel uncomfortable is horrible.

Many moons ago, when I was young and green and not so apt at reading signals, I was sexually assaulted by my then-hairdresser.

I think you'd be mad to risk going back. Besides, why would you want to keep giving your hard-earned money to a creep?

I think you are going to have to change salon. What have you responded to him? Do you think this is unique to you or is he like this with all his clients. I think you need to say no clearly and tell him you will report him for sexual harassment if he continues. I wouldn’t go back to him.

This isn't "letting you know he's interested sexually" it's way beyond that.

You need to get over your embarrassment/politeness or whatever it is that is making you be uncomfortable but not act on it - and either leave and not return, or tell him very directly to back the fuck off.

Don't go back and block.

Oh, your two most recent posts make it clear he’s a disgusting pest who is sexually harassing a customer. The fact that you haven’t left already suggests he’s great with hair. I think I’d be tempted, if you haven’t already, to say ‘You are sexually harassing a client. If you ever do this again, not only will I be leaving for another salon, but I will be telling your salon manager exactly why, and showing him/her the texts, AND leaving an honest review online. I don’t need you to say anything.’ Or just leave.

I've just read your update! Wow that is not okay at all! I'd stop going. I hope you find a good hairdresser.