To keep going to a hairdresser that makes me feel uncomfortable?

[HonestFinch]

I’ve been going to the same hairdresser for a while, and while he does a good job, he’s made it clear that he’s interested in pursuing me sexually. This has made me feel quite uncomfortable during my appointments. The problem is, he knows my hair well and is reasonably priced, so I keep going back. But every time, I feel uneasy. Should I find someone new, or am I overreacting by letting this get to me?

His behaviour has definitely escalated and has now crossed several lines. He seems to be the type that doesn't take no for an answer and many of us would find it unsettling at least, if not downright threatening.
I don't think you have any other option than to find another hairdresser, and soon. He sounds a bit obsessed.

I initially also assumed it was just a case of being flirty because he believes that this is what female clients want from him / is good for business. But this is absolutely unacceptable.

Don’t return. The risk of his behaviour escalating is just too high.

Well done for blocking him and deciding not to go back. If he contacts you again then it's clear he's not got the message. He would no doubt say "well she's never complained before" as many men take silence, unease, embarrassment or in your case, continuing to let him cut your hair, as an invitation to continue harassing a woman. IF he continues to escalate then there are things you can do to protect yourself:

www.suzylamplugh.org/Pages/Category/national-stalking-helpline

Looks like you enjoy playing with fire. If not, what are you still going there for?
Read your own updates, I doubt you're going to get many PPs advising you to keep going, and for what? Cheaper priced cuts? Why do you think he gives you cheaper rates? To encourage you to keep going to him, he's the salon owner, he sets the rates. Get out while you can.

Reply to his messages and tell him he's a sleazy, slimy sex pest and you will be finding another hairdresser. You will be blocking him and have reported him to the police for stalking and harassment. He is never to contact you again.

Bastard of a man, how dare he treat you like this. Take your power back and be that strong woman that you know you are 👑💪

Ew. Imo you are grossly underreacting! Have you actually told him no, you aren't interested? I get if you haven't, my reaction would probably to mutter something and avoid confrontation, and anyone who wasn't a creepy shit would have been able to read the room and back off without a blatant 'fuck no' . But if yoy haven't already I'd send a decisive cease and desist reply to his messages then block him totally.
And I'd rather shave my head than go near someone like that ever again. In fact I'd probably be home scouring my head with disinfectant to erase him having touched me at all. But maybe that's just me 😆

This is brilliant 🤣

I mean this very kindly OP as you've been given an unfairly hard time by some pp but it's worrying that you have carried on going back to this man, and that you needed a sense check on your instinct not to go back. If you find it equally hard to apply boundaries elsewhere in your life then there is help available with this.

He sounds like an utter d*ck. Don't blame yourself for not addressing it more seriously sooner. He started when you were younger and that's influenced how you've played this, trying to brush it off etc. Now you're a bit older and getting sick of it and realizing how out of order he is. The hugging and asking if you'd been with anyone when younger is appalling. Talk with your feet. Change hairdresser, no explanation, nothing, ignore in street etc. take care

This is awful! And it’s been going on for a decade?! The fact that he is so pushy and won’t back off is really concerning and upsetting.

I promise you there will be other hairdressers who can make your hair look just as nice.

You are effectively paying him to sexually harass you. No judgement, we as women are very conditioned to be nice and not rock the boat. But what a win win situation for him.

I honestly dont understand why you keep going back as its way over normal behaviour.

The fact that you keep going back is indicating to this pest that you quite like it (at least in his head) so he goes further and further each time

Just find a new hairdresser and also as kindly as possible I think you need to get some help with recognising boundaries.

Do you mean he's implying he knows where you live, when he specifically mentioned your flat?

Or did he just mention your town or your suburb? If he said your flat ie he knows your address, it sounds like he's followed you home or something to find out where you live, I would get substantially more alarmed.

In that case, I would consider notifying the police and also letting him know you've done so.

I would be checking all the locks and windows to your flat, being very cautious getting home in the dark, being happy you have a loud barking dog if you have one, etc etc.

If he just mentioned your town or your suburb, ok leave it at blocking. But do consider assertiveness training, our counselling, or similar, because something happened that should have sent you running, and it didn't.

Good luck.

I am glad that you are no longer going there. When you said that he mentioned your flat, what exactly did he say? Do you know anyone else that goes to him that he could have asked where you live by accident?

He really does sound like he is a danger to his clients.

He has been increasingly harassing you and now it's tipped into sexual harassment.
You must've felt so anxious and possibly didn't want to offend him by speaking up?
Please don't go back and if he knows your address consider reporting him if he appears
Ask around for recommendations for a new hairdresser and I would tell everyone you know not to go so he loses business

He sounds disgusting. Some men just thrive on making women feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. I'm glad he doesn't know where you live and work.

Go elsewhere if you’re uncomfortable. 🤷🏼‍♀️

WTF?

By this point I'd have got annoyed at this clown by now.

ffs dude, I've told you no, it's not a "try harder", I'm not playing hard to get, Its just no, it will always be no, "you dont know til you"ve tried", i'm not going to try, you repulse me, i didnt want to say, but you are relentless, just stop. I have no interest in sleeping with you,, I have never had any interest in anything aside from the hair services that are on offer and you've also ruined that by this persostent harrassment, I'll go elsewhere for hair service from now on. This is the first and final time i am going to tell you this because its likely you do this to other women who feel the same as i do. And before you jump to it, no I'm not a lesbian.

Let me guess, he's older??

yes, he’s my parents’ age - mid 50s

Run, run, run! Never go back. What a creep.

Follow your instincts. If he retired tomorrow you'd find another stylist, so just do that anyway. And be relieved not to have to fend him off ever again.

@HonestFinch Gross!! What is wrong with these sleazy old men 🤢

I could have guessed that for nothing.