AITA for wanting to be able to speak to my child’s teacher in the morning?

[Bea44]

I feel like this may be a mixed bag, but here goes.
At school drop off in the morning and afternoon the same mum every single day ‘hogs’ the teacher by the door and speaks to the teacher about her child or whatever… I’ve noticed it since they started school and it is every single day.
She stands in the way of the kids trying to get in the classroom in the morning and the same when they are coming out. Her child has additional needs so I completely understand she may need to chat with the teacher. But AITA for thinking this is a little too much?
I needed to tell the teacher something this morning regarding my own child for the first time since she started and I couldn’t get there. I hung around behind for a few minutes but I really don’t have time to queue up to speak to the teacher. I feel frustrated that I was unable to just quickly mention something when this other mum is ‘hogging’ the teacher daily.

Parents in my school are not allowed in the yard so there is no talking to teachers in the morning or evening. They can write a note in the homework journal or ring secretary if urgent

Teachers are far too distracted in the morning greeting children and setting up the day and messages get forgotten . Much prefer having info in writing because when you are caught on the hop you could say something that afterwards you think maybe I could have said that better.
Communication journal for those that need it with tick boxes for sleep/breakfast and extra information.

@Martymcfly24 that sounds exactly like our school. We had to put a stop to it as parents were coming in to reception then sneaking through to go to classrooms. Once I had to fight my way through prams and dogs to get to my classroom 🙄

this is highly unfair - you can’t compare the two children nor the circumstances of each parent. the fault is the teachers for not putting in place a proper system for one to one. as a parent of a blind child, i am actually hurt that other parents have this attitude. seriously count your blessings before being annoyed by something so minor, and just pick up the phone or email or the school app and communicate with the teacher instead of investing on posting on here slagging off a parent whose daily life struggles are probably so far from yours

I had this problem with a dad at my child’s music class, a band he was a member off. He was known for his rudeness and pushy behaviour. Annoying entitled little man!!

Not all schools allow emails or phone calls. Many schools put out communication not to call or email and some schools don’t have apps. It’s not the teachers place to put in systems that work. That’s up to the HT. Some parents do try to monopolise the teacher at the start or end of a school day. Every parent has different struggles and it’s very unfair of you to suggest otherwise.

Edited to add no teacher will have the time at the start or end of the school day to have 1:1 time with every parent who wants to talk to them. In the morning your main priority as a teacher is to get the children in and get on with the school day. At the end of the day a lot of the time teachers have meetings scheduled.

For children with various additional needs there’s normally scheduled meetings to discuss things throughout the year. As others have said they often can’t get near the teacher for other parents at drop off and pick up.

My child has autism so I do understand. However a communication journal is a much better tool for passing on messages instead of doorstepping a teacher. Our journal has one page for parents and one for teacher so a picture is built up for eg no sleep can be very dysregulated etc. it helps long term to become an information bank. Plus all adults like SET and Special Needs Assistants have access to the same information first hand not Chinese whispers.
Catching a teacher at the door is not an effective way of passing on information and it can get lost in translation.

And I can guarantee it is not always the parents of the child with additional needs that are cornering the teacher.

What a horrible read this thread has been, about THAT parent and how teachers dread dealing with us.
My child has SEN and the handover is in his planning. School are currently finding it hard to 'read' my child and need to know what kind of a morning he has had so that they can better manage him during the day.
I can drop and run with my other child, it's honestly so much easier. There's a great app for writing regular messages to teachers on which works very well for my non-SEN child. School asked me to avoid using the app for this type of communication due to when it is seen.
I'm sorry my behaviour is upsetting so many of you, but honestly I am following school's recommendations for my child. I would think they would have taken the other demands on the teacher into account. If you think they haven't, please speak to them rather than blaming me.

When DS started at school we needed a handover every day due to his needs - often just a brief one but always something either end of the day. He was year 3 before school were given the funded actually needed to support him and provide the 1-1 who then did his handovers.

he is year 10 now and his 1-1 still does a handover to whoever is collecting at the end of the day!

I’m a TA and there’s a mum like this in my class. She tells me every ailment or issue going with her child and it takes up nearly all of the drop off time! I’ve had to politely ask her on more than one occasion if she could put it all in an email that would be more useful than telling me at the door, she’ll reply “oh it’s only one or two things” but then every other parent may also have one or two things to tell us so it’s easier if you just write it down! We have a policy now that issues aren’t allowed to be brought up at drop off time as we’re settling children in and any issues can be brought up at pick up or even better, at a scheduled meeting!

I came to say this.

We don’t know whether they have this agreement for these catch ups or it’s the parent being pushy for teachers time so hard to comment on that.

in relation to passing info on, if I ever had something I needed to tell the teach I wrote a note and would hand it to the teacher (inc my number if they wanted to discuss). In this case I would have apologised for interrupting but say I needed to share some info with the teacher so had written her a note and to contact me if any questions and then handed it over. If she ‘wanted’ to she could end the conversation with other parent to talk to me or just take the note.

We have one like this and it's infuriating the kids are stood out in the cold while she's prattling on about her delicate flower EVERY SINGLE DAY !!! The kids are y4 now and she has done this since reception .
You can actually hear other parents moaning about her because they need to go to work etc and she's holding everyone up .
i emailed the head and he did put a notice out which she ignored because clearly it doesnt apply to her and her special princess so I've taken to shouting my child and telling them to go inside before they end up poorly ( he suffers with his chest in winter ) and other parents have started doing the same .
She's either oblivious to the dirty looks and grumblings of the other parents or just doesn't care

YANBU at all and like others have said, these parents are well known to the school.

When this has happened to me and I've needed to see the teacher about something, I've just sent an email to reception asking them to pass a message on for me, which has worked well. Maybe mention it at parents evening?

I had to before my child got a 1 to 1, what happened the night before or even that morning would determine what my child would be like in school and they needed to prepare for that.
I would be as quick as I could and I was very aware of others that needed the teachers time including the teachers class!
But yes some parents hogging the teacher for no good reason should stop!

It’s the same at my son’s school and it’s literally the same few parents everyday at both morning and afternoon. How they have so much to say I will never know. My eldest son is in year 5 and it’s the opposite - I have literally never seen his teacher at all, they just see themselves in to school.