Found out we are nearly broke -

[Pollss]

I thought we were doing well but DH told me we are almost broke.

We are mid 40s & 2 kids in primary school.

Joint gross income is £68k.

We have £190k outstanding on the mortgage on a house worth £525k

We have about £15k in savings and DH has £10 company shares. The children have about £5k each in their ISAs.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

DH doesn't talk to me about our finances because it usually ends in bickering. I was hoping to move to a larger house as our current one is too small but £525k gets you nothing in London.

what can i do to improve our finance situation

Joint gross income of £68k in London isn't that great.

Your husband should cut up your credit cards if you are spending more than you can pay off in full every month. You don't have the income to be using Pret. Make your own coffee and croissants.

I looked at this and laughed, have some thought for people really struggling !

Who is spending the money at the cinema, coffee etc, I can't tell if it's you or DH?
If you're spending why don't you have your own banking app or statements, so it wouldnt be a surprise?

Well stop spending then. I wish I had that problem!

YAB entirely U.

You’re annoyed you don’t have more money in savings. Well, you spent it, how did you expect you’d be increasing your savings when you weren’t putting it aside?

You are not broke. By your own admission, you’ve put hundreds of charges on the credit card over a 6 month period for fairly meaningless stuff. You clearly gave zero thought to what you were spending, because you’ve implied it was a surprise to you what was there and how it added up, so clearly you aren’t worried about being able to afford stuff.

The answer is really simple. You don’t use a credit card because you choose not to track your spending, and you work on your debit card with a set amount each month. And stop buying stuff you dont need if you want to prioritise saving.

As you know, you're in a good financial situation but don't have enough to buy a new house so need to get saving. You know you have hundreds of pointless transactions so it's very, very easy to cut back. Many people are struggling because of their essential bills but you describe this expenditure as pointless so it can just stop immediately - today! Whatever you would have spent per month on these pointless things, you can start transferring to a savings account. It will start adding up really quickly.
I know how easy it is to get into bad habits. I used to buy a coffee at Costa on my way to work each day. I sleep badly and really believed I needed this coffee to function at work. But I realised I was spending neatly £100 a month on coffee alone.
So I bought a cheap kettle for the office and a cheap jar of instant coffee and saved a fortune.
It's about changing habits. Once you see the savings add up, it'll be a real incentive to continue.

Assets of nearly half a million and you’re “broke”? There are millions of people who’d love to be as broke as you are.

Your answer is in the question. Stop frittering your money away.

And maybe start practicing even a modicum of self awareness. No wonder your DH gets pissed off when you talk about money.

You have some savings and so do your children. That's pretty good. You could move elsewhere cheaper. Work more or change your job. However, it sounds to me that you just need a tighter control on your day to day budget. That's not broke though.

I think you need to ask yourself not what 'we' need to do, but 'I'.

You're not nearly broke either but stop frittering the money away.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

Why did you think you were in a much better financial position?

You spend, so I'ma assuming that you bicker as there are plenty of pointless transaction on the credit card and your dh is a saver and doesn't like the pointless transactions on the credit card - which waste money and means he can't do the saving as you keep spending?

Is prêt, McDonalds, cinema trips more important than having a bigger house?

To be fair £68k a year between you living in London is not even an average wage for 2 people - which is deemed as £36k a year x 2 would come out at £72k in a normal town or city

What do you want? A bigger house or to make impulse spends?

How do you see yourself making changes to put yourself in a better financial position?

The great thing is - you're not in debt, you have great low mortgage and could easily overpay that if you cut up the credit card and had weekly pocket money instead. You have little or no childcare costs? Your car finance could or should be low living in London?

Make a coffee and go to the park
have film nights at home, buy a popcorn maker
buy a coffee machine, even a pod machine is cheaper than Pret subscription

Many people would love to he £500k house broke. However, while using the word broke is kinds ridiculous I can understand what you mean. But you answered the question in the op. You're spender. Have money automatically transfered to your savings account on payday so it can't be spent it. Do a budget to see what is suitable amount. Sounds like you can do this easily of the problems is frivolous spending instead of necessities.

You don't have the income to be using Pret. Make your own coffee and croissants

a bag of frozen croissants in (Pret) Sainsbury or M&S is £4 for 6, or £2.60 for 8 in Aldi or Lidl - pop them int he airfry for 15 minutes and they are hot and lovely

I used to be a terrible spender I look back and think of the £ I wasted and cringe!
I do get that 68k in London is not a huge income for the household but if you are both healthy and working, you are wealthy indeed.
Also think as a young mum you will be bombarded with other people’s lifestyles - other young mums in expensive cars, luxury gym gear, arms bedecked with multiple Cartier bracelets etc. It all looks a bit soulless to me and for a lot the cars are leased and the jewellery is fake.
I stopped using my credit card as a source of finance a long time ago. I use it, pay it off every month, leave a bit in the balance so I don’t get hammered with interest. Keeps the credit rating up.
It is hard if you are used to treats to start to cut down but the difference is huge - I quite like a lady I see on Insta called Money Mum who has some good tips.
The takeaway spend will be huge in terms of your income - it’s time for that to go. Your DH sounds sensible, work out a budget with him.

I didn't think it was possible to spend £50 a time at MacDonalds unless she bought out the entire stock lol

Just stay in the small house it’s fine

FFS!

Is this yet another wind up?

Being in London is a big part of the issue - property prices are crazy and all the pointless money pits like pret/Macdonald's etc are round every corner.

OP you already know you need to cut down on those things and not be 'a spender' if you are serious about a bigger house. Or accept that you are in the biggest house you can afford and keep the little treats that make life more pleasant. But it sounds you can't have both on your current income.

How though you are the spender spending money on stuff each month and I assume the bickering I assume is about this

yiu cannot save and spend

Maybe take more of an interest in your financial situation?

This

Why are you earning so little? £68k combined makes it seem like one or both of you are barely working. You need to go full time in better paying roles.

And obviously, stop the ridiculous spending on shite. Take a thermos with your coffee and pack your own sandwiches when you go out.

Saving doesn’t happen by you thinking about it. There is an action you need to take in order for the saving to happen. You seem clueless about your own finances.

Depending where you live in London (which Zone) you're doing amazingly well to have that mortgage. Your house value is almost 8 x your annual income. You have a massive mortgage for your income. Is the valuation on your house correct? Or is it a guess?

Your joint income is low for London.

There was a thread here a few days ago where the poster had an income of around £62K, a mortgage of £500 a month and she was struggling. you're spending nearly 65% of your monthly income on the current one.

Unless you can both earn more, there is no way you can increase your mortgage.

The main point though is you weren't taking any real notice of your finances and being passive.

Who does the credit card belong to? Why did you never take any notice of it before?

Sit down and create a budget of what you want to save by when and how much you will allow yourselves or as family for 'treats'.