Found out we are nearly broke -

[Pollss]

I thought we were doing well but DH told me we are almost broke.

We are mid 40s & 2 kids in primary school.

Joint gross income is £68k.

We have £190k outstanding on the mortgage on a house worth £525k

We have about £15k in savings and DH has £10 company shares. The children have about £5k each in their ISAs.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

DH doesn't talk to me about our finances because it usually ends in bickering. I was hoping to move to a larger house as our current one is too small but £525k gets you nothing in London.

what can i do to improve our finance situation

I honestly read the title and assumed you were going to say you discovered that you were in a shitload of debt and was close to losing your house or something crazy like that.

I’ve read your post 3 times and I still can’t see how you’re broke? You already said you’re the spender so maybe stop spending money on coffee and whatnot and you’ll be happy with where you are financially? You have £15K in savings. How can that ever be considered broke?!

The little things do really add up - the summer holidays were awful for this, for me, and my bank account is still recovering (I felt really guilty when I saw my credit card bill, even though we did nothing extravagant, just the odd ice cream/drink/trip to the swimming pool… everything is just so expensive). We try to do one meal out (takeaway, McDonald’s, nothing posh) per month, and I have a thermos flask for coffee which goes everywhere with me. Maybe make a realistic budget and plan how often you can do ‘treats’, together with your husband, and be super careful with the little stuff over Christmas (set a really strict Christmas shopping budget and don’t be tempted by overpriced events).

Has half term started early in some parts of the country?

How come your day-to-day spending such as Pret and cinema is paid for with a credit card? Do you not use your debit card so it comes directly out of the bank account?

You’re not broke. That’s an insult to people who are struggling to make ends meet and living payday to payday. Stop spending money on fast food and takeaways.

You’ve answered your question in your own post. You yourself call them ‘pointless spends’ - that’s the bit you need to change if you want to save for a bigger house.

I use my CC for absolutely everything and it's cleared each month.
Using a debit card is less safe anyway, in terms of fraud and security.

We use an app called Snoop to monitor the little spends. It's free and has really helped stopping stuff piling up/helping us keep to budget. Have also had to forgo the credit cards. The bonus's/points etc with them are great, but we were continuously overspending so it just wasn't worth it. Switched to a tesco debit card so still collecting clubcard points that way, and it means we cannot go over budget. We've gone from being in debt to having savings within a year of using the app. On track to having a 'six month income buffer' within the next 3 years, and managing to save for the kids. I don't even feel like I'm missing out on anything. I did things like buying myself a decent thermos so now I take a coffee out with me and save spending each time I want a hot drink in the playground. Small changes add up. Would recommend it.

Your net income is just over £4K a month. Maybe less if one of you is a higher earner.

After your mortgage, you have around £2K a month - £500 a week.

This is not a lot of money for London.
Out of that you need to pay council tax, utilities, house insurance, cars (?) fuel, fares, phones, food, general groceries (laundry stuff, loo rolls) etc.

The other stuff is kids' clothes, any after school events, your own essentials like clothes etc.

Work out your absolute outgoings - including council tax and utilities- and see what that leaves you with.

"Nearly broke"????? Get a grip! Use your decent amount of savings to pay your credit card off and stop using it for Starbucks and Avocado toast?

God i'd love it if well of people were plummeted into actual poverty, where you have to rent a home and your life is a choice between feeding your kids or paying the rent. Literally, starve or be homeless.

May the odds be ever in your favor OP 😉

You need to take personal responsibility.

A budget with a limit on personal pocket money. Say €100 a month. If you use cash you’ll be more aware of what you’re spending or a Revolut card.

No small items on the credit t card. Keep it for big purchases only for extra insurance you should be able to clear it in full at the end over the month.

it’s pointless paying you’re a Spender, frittering your money away than complaining you don’t have the money you frittered away.

Im in my 50s now. I have friends who’ve prioritised pensions & paying down their mortgage. I have friends who’ve have spent every penny they have & complain they have a poor pension & will have to work even beyond retirement.

To be fair DH and I put all of our spending on our credit card, then pay it off in full at the end of the month as we rack up the Tesco Clubcard points that way so it pays for Christmas.

We do actually keep an eye on it though, it sounds like OP hasn't looked at the statement for months and her DH has understandably become frustrated.

@Pollss it sounds like you are frittering away a lot of money. Our joint income is more than yours and we wouldn't spend £50 on a cinema trip unless it was for a birthday treat. We watch films at home with supermarket pizzas and popcorn instead. It is a case of prioritising where your money goes. Maybe discuss a monthly budget for fun money with DH and try to stick to that going forwards.

Yep, me too. ‘Nearly broke’ is next to no money left to last to the end of the month to feed the kids/put petrol in the car, credit cards maxed out and mortgage at risk. This is just ‘we haven’t got as much in savings as I thought’.

In the famous MN words; give your head a wobble.

Fear not Op! I’ve started a gofundme for you!

Hand your credit cards to your husband and let him give you a monthly allowance. He seems a financially astute man if he's managed to save £25k while you're drilling a hole in the purse bottom.
That might help you get to a place of 'less broke' 🤷🏾‍♀️.

If you look at Lloyds bank accounts - ideal for switching as they are paying £200 to switch atm

you can get 6 free cinema tickets with the bank account and the £200

just incase anyone on this thread that doesn't normally go to the cinema wants a treat before xmas

or if you buy insurance through compare dot com - you can get 2 for 1 tickets on Tuesdays and Wednesdays all day and take your own popcorn or snacks

Us too. All our spending is on credit cards and it's paid in full each month. We have no debt apart from the mortgage. We get cashback with our credit card so make money just by using it.

I also think your mortgage is high for your income. I'm really surprised that you thought you could move to a bigger house in the South East on an income of £68k. Our joint income is almost double yours with a slightly more expensive house (also South East) and we wouldn't upsize as house prices round here are absolutely ridiculous. It does sound like your financial expectations are unrealistic. You're actually doing really well not to be in lots of debt if you're living in London on £68k and frittering away lots of money in Pret and the cinema!

You would have more saved up if you stopped doing this:

I have been a spender

He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

The solution and remedy is in your hands Polls and you know this it doesn't take a genius to work it out.

It may or not be a wind up post but it highlights a common problem - frittering. I think it's become even more of an issue as we've moved to being cashless because tapping to pay makes the transactions less noticeable than when we had to take cash out the ATM.

I used to work with a colleague who was forever moaning about money. They got themselves a Costa coffee three times every day, despite the fact our office had free tea & instant coffee supplied. They were spending roughly 2.5k a year needlessly on those coffees plus the same again on their lunch from a nearby deli. That equates to over £8k of their gross as a higher rate taxpayer. That's just the frittering I observed during our work day so god knows how much more they were wasting on what I would class as frivolous luxuries. If you can afford it that's fine but don't piss money away needlessly and then moan about being skint. Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.

If you pay it off in full every month it can be a good idea if it has cashback or rewards.
We use CC's for most things but they are paid in full and we get a nice amount of cashback. We have given DD one for Uni as well (not a risk in her case)

So you admit you spend spend spend on luxuries and are disappointed there's not more savings in the bank?.... make it make sense!

What a doorknob you are, have some empathy for people who are actually broke

Is this a wind up? “Almost broke” 🤣

If you want to improve your finances then keep track of them/stop buying random stuff you don’t need on the credit card I guess.