Found out we are nearly broke -

[Pollss]

I thought we were doing well but DH told me we are almost broke.

We are mid 40s & 2 kids in primary school.

Joint gross income is £68k.

We have £190k outstanding on the mortgage on a house worth £525k

We have about £15k in savings and DH has £10 company shares. The children have about £5k each in their ISAs.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

DH doesn't talk to me about our finances because it usually ends in bickering. I was hoping to move to a larger house as our current one is too small but £525k gets you nothing in London.

what can i do to improve our finance situation

Same here, anyone who's got 15k savings is nowhere close to broke. I live pay day to pay day with £0 savings, that's close to broke

Calm yourself down..go and have a cup of tea 🙄

Why aren't you both reviewing your expenditure regularly...it sounds like he's had to wave the bills under your nose for you to understand.

So now you do, it's time to cut back.

Why do you not take any responsibility for this yourself?

I have no idea why you'd have any expectations about how much your husband would have saved if you just spend money like it's going out of fashion and don't pay any attention to the family finances.

Ask MNHQ to delete the entire thread as it wont do your mental health any good.

Then change your username & post on the creditcrunch board on how to pay off your debt & sort your finances out.

Grow up and take some responsibility for your part in your family's finances. Talk to your DH about it, set budgets for things like holidays, Christmas, fun spending, clothes and stick to them or if you can't then work out why - does your spending need to drop or your budget go up?

Be an adult.

You’re very passive on this. It’s weird that you just somehow thought you’d have more, why don’t you keep tabs on it?

I’m not sure what you think people can suggest here other than what everyone has said - be more mindful in your discretionary spending.

Literally wtf did I just read.

"We are so broke" 😭

lists multiple assets including half a million pound house and tens of thousands in savings

I haven't read the comments but the only thing funnier will be the posters coming along and agreeing that you are indeed skint.

God, the snarky replies on this thread. OP made a mistake with her thread title, but she's asked for help - so maybe people (I note many of these are people I have seen on other threads saying how 'nasty' mumsnet is these days) could try and be a bit nicer.

OP - Cut down on takeaways, cinema and MaccDys. They're not needed. You can make much nicer, healthier and cheaper food at home including things like Chow Main, Curry and Fish and Chips. Kid's don't need expensive days out - mine certainly don't get them as it costs about £100 for the whole family - so take them to places like the NT where you can park locally and walk around the grounds, do 'cinema' days in the house with popcorn from the local shop, go out for walks.

It's all about adjustment.

FWIW, I worked out I spend £100 a week on coffee a few months ago. I now only get one coffee a day. That money instead goes into my savings account for other things.

It's very easy to get carried away and the idea of 'cutting back' on things like takeaways is hard - but ultimately, you'll be financially better off, healthier and happier if you do.

Glad you realise that your not broke.

The way to address spending is to sit down with 3 months worth of statements and categorise them in an excel spreadsheet.

So coffees, meals out, days out, energy bills, council tax, supermarket bill, mortgage etc.

That will give you a real insight into spending and what can be cut easily.
Bills are non negotiable but see if you can save anything by switching so mobile phones, getting rid of subscriptions etc.
Then look at your food bill - we save money by cooking larger meat cuts and making into multiple meals. So a whole chicken then stripped down can easily do 2 extra meals if bulked out like a risotto. Same with a pulled pork.

Set yourself a budget and stick to it for days out and stop spending on the credit card if your not seeing it as real money.

Several things spring to mind.

You need to stop your pointless transactions
You need to start working yourself
£68 a year isn't a lot to support 4 people, I'm surprised you have the amount of equity you do. I think you are doing very well on a single salary with two dc.

What do you think you should do OP?

What did your DH suggest when he showed you the bills?

Do you have any input into the family finances? Do you pool all costs? Do you have any spending money purely for yourself?

You aren't 'broke', you simply aren't where you thought you were financially - there is a huge difference between the two! I understand that for London, where the property market is unique, and can't be compared to anywhere else in the UK, a property worth £525K, is not expensive. However, by your own admission, you spend, and your husband is a saver. He has shown you 6 months worth of credit card statements, that are mainly for leisure activities. Cinema, lunches, coffee, snacks etc, that over time, all add up. I am guessing that the majority of these transactions are yours? When paying by credit card, you literally have no idea what you are spending! You clearly don't ask for receipts and keep track of the 'little' things you are spending on?! You need to set a budget, and actually paying in cash (where possible) means you can take a certain amount out for the month and just use that. If you have to pay by card, then make sure you get a receipt and log the date/where/amount. If you keep to a budget, then you will start to see a difference in your finances, because you won't be spending large amounts on frivolous items!!

So you have “hundreds of pointless transactions” on the credit. card and you want to know what you can do to improve your finances.

Yeah, real head scratcher, I can see why you’re struggling.

I can only dream of being as broke as you 😭

You are totally broke and it's clear you will be on the streets by Christmas.

Still, could be worse eh 🙂

@Pollss hi, I was wondering about the £10 company shares, is that a typo?
I have 4 kids and a combined income of under 40k including benefits with that because I have a child with autism and learning disabilities, but I've always been a minimum wage employee so my finances aren't as affected as if I was a high earner by being my sons carer, so I'd never have huge money coming in but I definitely think there are a few things you can do to cut down spending.
If you're a fan of coffees out buy a pack for under £2 of the instant lattes or mochas, you'll get 6 coffees that feel a treat that way. 6 coffees from Costa or Starbucks soon adds up.
Pret or McDs treat as a treat. I know its not quite the same level treat as a nice meal out but financially using these places as somewhere to pick up lunch instead of making your own is really expensive. I even treat a meal deal as a one off from morrisons because if did it daily it would add up.
Make a meal plan and stick to it.
Aldi or lidl for things like crisps and chocolates.
Sainsburys or morrisons for meat and veg using nectar card (both have price match on dairy for aldi now and I find its quite good quality)
Iceland do deals constantly for freezer stuff.
Really stick to it, there's 4 of you so you'll be reet to have a decent shop for under £80 including household and toiletries.

Clear off cc debts and have a day to day bank account such as a monzo card with a really good app, put your cash for spending weekly in that and do not go over.

You'll have your new house soon enough!

✂💳✅

Sorted it for you.

@Pollss your joint finances should not come as a shock. Use this as a wake up call to take more responsibility for understanding your finances, it’s not your husband’s sole responsibility or shouldn’t be.

You are not broke. Set yourself a limit of how much you are prepared to spend on frivolous stuff and stick to it.

Has your husband been paying off the credit card, or do you have debt?

Has he been robbing banks? I'm astounded you have so much on those wages, assets and your stupid spending.

Ok so that's a very different problem.

Time to be more aware of your finances. Do you have joint finances, do you have access to all of the accounts online? Time to start logging in regularly and getting a feel for the figures. Dial back on the incidental spending.

Also have a think about what level of savings you're comfortable with.

It does sound like you're a long way off moving house, but it also sounds like you have plenty of discretionary spending money and so even with a good bit of cutting back you can have a lovely quality of life.

... And I just opened my phone and hasn't hit post so I'm sure I'm just repeating everyone else at this stage. 😂

You're not nearly broke.

Is this post a wind-up? Poor taste if so.

You’ve got a couple of issues here. Frivolous spending, no monitoring of your incomings and outgoings and no proper discussion with your husband of your situation and vision of the future (ie do you both want a bigger house?)

I suggest some open frank conversations with facts at hand. You could also look up Rebel Finance School. They have a series of videos on YouTube for their annual course. Their ultimate goal is financial independence but the videos about understanding your gap, identifying your goals and talking finances sound very pertinent here. Lots of useful resources too, such as excel templates. (Not affiliated with them, just a fan.). https://rebeldonegans.com