To think it's wrong to refuse to put a father on the birth certificate

[HorsePeopleAreStablePeople]

I often see people on here tell the OP to refuse to put the father on the birth certificate. AIBU to think it's fundamentally wrong to deny parental rights to a child's parent and it's wrong for a baby to have a blank space on their birth certificate where their father should be unless the father is unknown because it's their birth and heritage information?

I know that women often do it to make sure the father has no say over the child because they think they know best and want to make all the decisions but I just don't think it's fair to deny parental rights to fathers.

If a father could refuse rights to the mother there would be uproar and rightly so, so why isn't it the same when women deny fathers their rights?

Out of touch

No, but a court/police could make him, but then you’re not keen on that for some reason? So it seems you think it’s important enough that a woman should be forced to, but not important enough for a man to be forced to, or even important enough for him to have to deal with his own admin.

Why is this annoying you so much @HorsePeopleAreStablePeople ? Where is your skin in the game?

Proposing something without any understanding or caring about the wider ramifications or even the principles of what you are arguing about is pretty stupid.
Its not about disagreeing it's being completely blind to and having no real understanding of what you're arguing in favour of

Now you're just making things up.

I can understand why some women don't put the fathers name in the birth certificate, and I will be flamed for this but if you don't want the father to have any rights, then don't then chase them for money! It just seems unfair... they are good enough to pay for the child but not good enough to have any say in its upbringing.

I accept there are circumstances where it's simply not safe or appropriate.

I know let's force abused women to put their abusers name on the birth certificate.
Let's see how that works out shall we.
Or let's force children to grow up with a man who couldn't give a shit about them named on a piece of paper they have to use for the rest of their lives

So long as the men are looked after eh hun

Tell me which part I’m wrong about?
Do you think women should be forced to?
Do you think men should be forced to?
Do you think there is anything wrong with men having to do their own admin?

No one is denying men their rights to be named on their biological child's birth certificate, if you have evidence of otherwise please show us.

I have no skin in the game. There are lots of games I have no skin in but that doesn't mean I think society should turn a blind eye.

I recently had a baby, I can't imagine how much it would hurt to be denied access to them, or my parental rights to make decisions on what is best for her and give consent to things denied to me because her other parent decided I shouldn't have them. I see it advised so often on MN to not let the father be on the birth certificate and I think this is terribly unfair because it would break my heart to have it done to me.

I am getting annoyed at all the sarcasm, rudeness and nastiness in the thread because why can't people just be civil!?

I do think though that a woman should only be able to claim maintenance if the father is on the bc.

Why? My daughter's father isn't on her birth certificate because he abandoned her. Thankfully, he still has to pay for her. Why shouldn't I get maintenance when it was his decision to walk away?

Oh you're absolutely right, women should give men every chance so the poor darlings can decide for themselves instead of having to fill out some paperwork.

Anything else we should do to make things easier for men while we are at it?

"but not important enough for a man to be forced to, or even important enough for him to have to deal with his own admin"

I never said either of those things.

So if your babies Dad was dangerous, do you think he should have the right to take your baby and refuse to return it for atleast a week?

I have a friend who was raped, had the baby, and she was advised not to put her rapists name on the BC, by her family. She didn't.

Great, where’s the problem then? Either he’s forced to, or he just takes care of his own admin rather than expecting a woman to take care of everything for him. So what exactly are you concerned about?

I think the father should only be left off in certain, limited, circumstances. Basically, if the woman doesn’t know who he is eg ONS or a sperm donor. Any other instance it just comes across as selfish. The child deserves to at least know the name of their father, even if the man isn’t in their life 🤷‍♀️

I am getting annoyed at all the sarcasm, rudeness and nastiness in the thread because why can't people just be civil!?

Because you aren't listening, noone is going to change your mind, and you don't seem to understand the implications of what you are saying.

It's bad.

But dad can always go to court to be added.

I don't think people are been civil because your missing the point of why some people recommend not to name them on the birth certificate. Some mothers fear for their own lives and the safety of their child at the hands of the child's father - naming them on the birth certificate gives men like that an automatic right to see the child and have involvement with decisions that affect the child - often they will just not play ball to make things harder for the mother or to continue controlling them. The mother then has to go court etc to sort it out casuing more stress. A child can know who their father is and the father can play an active role in the child's life without been named on a birth certificate.

I think this is terribly unfair because it would break my heart to have it done to me

I'll forgive you as you've just had a baby - of course it would break your heart, your body and hormones are designed that way!

It doesn't tend to break men's hearts in the same way though. And if it does they can pretty easily rectify that situation. In fact if they cared that much they would have married the mother, or worn a condom.

Not being on the BC has no bearing on the child's knowledge of their father.

Absolutely love all this " as long as the men are looked after eh Hun " it's just childish. No one here thinks that men should be looked after at the expense of women.

If a man's name is not on the birth certificate by her choice, can she still milk him for support?

Right, because the only way a child knows their fathers name, is if he’s on a piece of paperwork they probably won’t even look at until they’re an adult.

If a man's name is not on the birth certificate by her choice, can she still milk him for support? is the baby still entitled to financial support?

Fixed it for you.