To think it's wrong to refuse to put a father on the birth certificate

[HorsePeopleAreStablePeople]

I often see people on here tell the OP to refuse to put the father on the birth certificate. AIBU to think it's fundamentally wrong to deny parental rights to a child's parent and it's wrong for a baby to have a blank space on their birth certificate where their father should be unless the father is unknown because it's their birth and heritage information?

I know that women often do it to make sure the father has no say over the child because they think they know best and want to make all the decisions but I just don't think it's fair to deny parental rights to fathers.

If a father could refuse rights to the mother there would be uproar and rightly so, so why isn't it the same when women deny fathers their rights?

@KeyWorker exactly this.

Thank God someone is finally thinking about men and their rights. Now perhaps finally you can do something about the £3.7 billion owed in unpaid child support.

Are you a mother OP?

I think it’s quite understandable if the father is dangerous or abusive. If I had a child who was the result of rape or I was being abused I wouldn’t trust this person with access to my child. It would make it easier for them to get at the child.

A woman was in the newspaper a few years back, her pedophile (he was really really awful) ex kept dragging her through the courts to try to get access to their daughters. She was utterly skint because she was having to fight him relentlessly. It is sometimes very much in the interests of the child to put a few stumbling blocks between them and their father.

I am, what is your point?

Presumably OP thinks those men should be forced to put their name on, right OP? Maybe police go and track him down and then force him to sign?

I don’t have a father named on my BC. It’s had no impact on my life in any way shape or form.

Id rather have it blank than have the sperm donors name who couldn’t be arsed to give a shit for the last 40 odd years of my life.

Some fathers are abusive, make life very difficult for the mother and are complete deadbeats.. I wouldn’t want them on my BC either if that was my situation.

As other posters have said.. mothers also cannot put the fathers name on the BC if they’re unmarried. He actually has to be there in person.

Just to add… having a blank space on my birth certificate actually made it easier for an amazing man who married my mother to adopt me and bring me up as their own.

Ah those poor ickle wickle menz
ffs
yeah they're the priority in all this aren't they op
poor little poppets
fuck sake the stupid on here is strong these days

A mother can give the information without the father being present even if unmarried

edited to add that does require a form signed by the dad though

Not at all don't be obtuse. I'm talking about all the times on here the advise is given "don't let him be on the birth certificate" which I assume means register the birth without telling him.

I'm not an idiot. I know you can't force a man to be on the birth certificate, but I didn't say that did I? I was referring to men being denied the opportunity to be on the birth certificate because the mother simply doesn't want them to be on there.

You don't need to be so fucking rude.

They do it for themselves not their child, but these men are good enough to sleep with but nor good enough to have on a birth certificate, I presume they still want money though?

But I thought you said it was all about the child’s right to have both parents named, so surely that means the father should HAVE to put his name on there, or is it not really about the child at all?

Anyway, they’re not denied the opportunity, they can do it themselves, no need to fret.

Unless you were married, they can't put someone's name down on the birth certificate if they aren't there to consent to it. So there's little point in them challenging it!

But by doing so, the 'father' has PR and is then granted legal rights to have access to the child which would then have to be dragged through the courts to have removed. In a case of an abusive partner/rapist this would be far more detrimental to a child than not having a paper record of who their father is.

In different circumstances where the mother has chosen not to add him to it for other reasons, he can apply to court to have his name added. Also if unmarried, the men have to attend the registry appointment- some don't bother.

I'm not an idiot. I know you can't force a man to be on the birth certificate, but I didn't say that did I? I was referring to men being denied the opportunity to be on the birth certificate because the mother simply doesn't want them to be on there.

Can't force the man but you think the woman should be told to? Yeah, no.

Of course, it obviously tracks I don't give a shit about the unpaid child support in the whole country 🙄

Well the complete lack of thought about the ramifications of what you are suggesting is pretty stupid

Surely you can see the difference between choosing not to exercise your rights and someone actively denying them to you?

It's got nothing to do with the father's rights but his legal parental responsibilities

He can always be added to the birth certificate, at his request following a DNA test?? It's not a dun and dusted deal.

Of course it's about the child, the father should have to be on the birth certificate, I'm simply acknowledging a woman can't force a man to turn up to the registry office.

For the eleventy billionth time, they aren't rights. They're responsibilities. Men use them as rights over the mother. But they aren't for that purpose.

I'm not thoughtless or stupid. I just don't agree with you.