To think it's wrong to refuse to put a father on the birth certificate

[HorsePeopleAreStablePeople]

I often see people on here tell the OP to refuse to put the father on the birth certificate. AIBU to think it's fundamentally wrong to deny parental rights to a child's parent and it's wrong for a baby to have a blank space on their birth certificate where their father should be unless the father is unknown because it's their birth and heritage information?

I know that women often do it to make sure the father has no say over the child because they think they know best and want to make all the decisions but I just don't think it's fair to deny parental rights to fathers.

If a father could refuse rights to the mother there would be uproar and rightly so, so why isn't it the same when women deny fathers their rights?

Agree OP. It's fundamentally wrong, and I don't believe this control should be left to the mother - because some very much abuse it, at a detriment to their kids.

It should be about the kids, always. It's often not, if we're honest.

Have you read the thread?

😫

If he steps up to be a father then he can be acknowledged

How many women 'abuse' it?

And in what way?

If they're the father they can prove it and get a court order for access. If they can be bothered...

This sums it up perfectly.

How do women abuse it?

1. Mother registers birth. She cannot add the father if they are not married regardless.
2. father wants to be added so takes the matter to court.
3. court adds him.

how can this system be abused?

If we were I'm teaching my daughter not to take abuse from a husband, but then if he was a good dad to her then I'm not teaching her any bad examples. I certainly wouldn't teach her that if I fall out with your dad over something you have to too.

I think this is more nuanced, and I think 'fall out with your dad' is very much underplaying it.

I think that it's right to condemn (for example) men who have affairs. I think it's fair enough that a woman who's partner has an affair now has a poor opinion of that man, and, I think it's right that the children in that relationship (to an age appropriate level) have a poor opinion of that behaviour.

How a father behaves towards the mother of his children, someone who should be near the top of his list of people he behaves well towards matters. In society, we want people to behave well. I want my children to behave well. They should disapprove of people having affairs, even if that person is their own parent. Pretending they shouldn't is just hiding the problem and creating internal conflict.