AIBU to complain about this Dr interaction?

[Swellbowler23]

I should start by saying my Dr's surgery is excellent. I am very lucky in that generally I never struggle with appointments and am always generally pleased with the service. I had an appointment this morning and it was a different GP to one I've ever seen. He struck me as quite different when I walked in as this GP was wearing a hat (almost like a straw hat) and a Hawaiian type shirt, he seemed really jolly and friendly which was great. We started talking about my issue which was related to chronic chest issues. Suddenly, out of seemingly no where, he asked if "the curtains matched the drapes", I was confused and said excuse me and he repeated, this time gesturing at my hair (which is dyed an unusual colour) and then sort of nodded down indicating my pubic area. I was really shocked and sort of laughed awkwardly and said no. I was completely taken off guard. He laughed and then carried on with the appointment as though nothing had happened. I left feeling completely bemused and when I got home couldn't stop thinking about it and how even if it was just a joke, it made me uncomfortable. I wish I'd said something at the time but I was rrally taken aback. WIBU to speak to the surgery about this. Part of me feels like I'm making a big deal over a throw away comment but another part of me feels it was totally inappropriate.

It's sexual harassment and yes, it should be reported.

Unprofessional and inappropriate all round. Definitely get the email of the practice manager from reception.

@Swellbowler23 I’m so sorry you had this experience…he may have been a locum or a new recruit and sometimes people are locuming because they haven’t been able to hold down a permanent job, so it’s really really crucial that you report this person asap. Dodgy people exist in the nhs as well as in any walk of life but because they are in a position of power relative to the patient they can more easily get away with bad behaviour.

@needsomewarmsunshine ok ok, maybe not vagina explicitly, but it's within the region of.

Did he introduce himself as a doctor? It's extremely unusual to see a GP at my practice: you are nearly always seen by a mumble-mumble practitioner. It's probably best to report to the practice manager first, as he won't be registered with the GMC if he isn't a doctor. Physician associates will be regulated by the GMC from December, but not yet. The various mumble-mumble practitioners will have different regulators depending on which kind of mumble-mumble they are.

I do think practices should be putting signs on the door and the desk saying exactly what each practitioner's role and status is, as well as who their professional regulator is.

WTF?! That is SO unprofessional, report immediately!!

I would throw the book at this, it is completely unprofessional and highly offensive

You don't have to believe it, I barely did did when it happened!

Thanks for all the helpful posts.

I'm thinking this was someone impersonating a doctor, however unlikely it sounds. Deserves to be flagged up either way. Next poor soul who comes in with headaches, he may attempt to do a cavity search.

I genuinely can't remember if he introduced himself as anything. He may have done but I genuinely wasn't paying enough attention at the start (plus was admittedly distracted by the hat!) I was such a "normal" appointment in every other regard up until he said it. He knew some of my history so had access to my medical files.

Definitely report to the practice manager at the very least. I used to work in a surgery and they would most definitely take this seriously, especially the practice manager and GP partners.

What an absolute creep!

Sexual harassment is a very big deal, OP.

That was a totally inappropriate remark for anyone to make, especially a doctor to a patient. Yeuch. Unfortunately such things happen, you won't be the only one and he will gain a reputation.

Find another doctor.

I know it's easy to be wise after the event, but ideally you should have pinned him down to say exactly what he was asking about, and why he was gesturing towards your hair.

Don't be so hard on yourself OP, he was a man and therefore there is an immediate power imbalance which is probably why you didn't say anything to him, along with the shock.
Definitely report it. It's completely unacceptable.

Yes, I'm really kicking myself for reacting so passively. I really am disappointed I didn't pull him up on it and make him explain exactlywhat he meant. Sadly I feel like my response was like a green light to him it was acceptable.

Bill Murray at Cannes in 2021 looked exactly like that.

Perhaps it was him?

Ring the manager asap. He could be saying and doing so much worse to other people, particularly those who are vulnerable.

Don't. It's completely natural you didn't have a 'perfect response' up your sleeve and far too easy for strangers on the internet to try to pull you down. You did absolutely nothing wrong.

This.

@Swellbowler23 do not berate yourself for how you reacted. You were in shock and your instinct, as it is for most people, was to be polite and not escalate the situation. It’s only on reflection, when we know we weren’t in imminent danger, that we think of all the things we wish we should’ve said/done. It’s frustrating but having the nerve to stand up for yourself in the moment is not inbuilt for most people.

At my new GP surgery the doctors name is on the check in screen and again when it flashes up to ask you to go to the room for your appointment. However at my old practice I would occasionally be lead to believe I was seeing a doctor only to later find out it was a HCA in none uniform.
I think my first point would be to call the practice manager and find out exactly who had carried out the appointment.

I'm so cross with the posters saying "you should have done XYZ". No one ever manages to have some great strong reaction or comeback to incidents like this in the moment as they are so taken aback and confused and often intimidated or embarrassed, or feel like it's their fault somehow or they've misunderstood. That's exactly how people get away with sexual harassment and assault every day. So PLEASE don't berate yourself OP, you haven't done a thing wrong.