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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are teachers so rude?

187 replies

Van34 · 10/10/2024 07:14

I will preface this by saying I do not have kids and therefore my last interaction with teachers was when I was at school. I'm not going to let my teenage years cloud my judgement.

I have recently taken on a job that involves visiting schools (think cleaning supervisor, but not) I spend a couple of hours walking round with the team, talking about challenges, reviewing paperwork and doing a general checks. I don't have to interact with the teaching staff at all (thank god). But I find them so rude. They think nothing of just butting in mid conversation, no "sorry, I can see your talking, could I just ask X a question" they just start talking. They stare with a frown constantly and consistently. They don't thank you or the children for holding doors open for them. And they never smile back if you smile at them...

It takes me back to being at school all those years ago and now I wonder if it wasn't just me hating the place. I wonder if the teachers were all like that too.

This isn't an isolated incident. I travel to many schools and they are all the same...

OP posts:
BlackOrangeFrog · 10/10/2024 08:01

Paisleydad · 10/10/2024 07:45

My son in law is a teacher. I've asked him about this.

I'm told it's in his contract that he must take every opportunity to seek out visitors to the school and find ways of being rude to them. Butting in is one of the most common techniques apparently. Others include talking about visitors within earshot and blocking cars in in the car park.

They have a Visitor Rudeness Form to fill out. This is a key performance indicator requiring monthly returns to Dept of Education and contributes positively to school league tables.

Apparently, it's something of a struggle to maintain a lead over the counter-balancing measure of pupils and parents being rude to teachers.

Don't forget the termly reports and progress measures in each visitor.

Coruscations · 10/10/2024 08:01

stravagante · 10/10/2024 07:16

I was once told, by a very wise mentor that if I was regularly finding everyone around me to be an arsehole then the problem wasn't them, it was me.

I've worked in loads of schools and they've had their fair share of idiots but most folk are nice. Like in the rest of life.

As OP is only finding one profession to be arseholes, this doesn't apply to her, does it?

FlyHalf · 10/10/2024 08:01

I wish posters would just say what they do, instead of this vague, 'Think cleaning supervisor but not' business. I don't work in a school, I have no idea what range of possible roles non-teachers might have.

Ivyn · 10/10/2024 08:01

Van34 · 10/10/2024 07:59

Are you in teaching? Or do you just float in and out merrily like I do

Show quote history

You really are an unpleasant person aren't you.

Namechangencncnc · 10/10/2024 08:01

"They stare with a frown constantly and consistently"

This made me laugh so much.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 10/10/2024 08:02

I find some teachers rude but most are just knackered.

PleaseAskSomeoneWhoGivesAFuck · 10/10/2024 08:03

Van34 · 10/10/2024 07:14

I will preface this by saying I do not have kids and therefore my last interaction with teachers was when I was at school. I'm not going to let my teenage years cloud my judgement.

I have recently taken on a job that involves visiting schools (think cleaning supervisor, but not) I spend a couple of hours walking round with the team, talking about challenges, reviewing paperwork and doing a general checks. I don't have to interact with the teaching staff at all (thank god). But I find them so rude. They think nothing of just butting in mid conversation, no "sorry, I can see your talking, could I just ask X a question" they just start talking. They stare with a frown constantly and consistently. They don't thank you or the children for holding doors open for them. And they never smile back if you smile at them...

It takes me back to being at school all those years ago and now I wonder if it wasn't just me hating the place. I wonder if the teachers were all like that too.

This isn't an isolated incident. I travel to many schools and they are all the same...

Have you written to the education minister??
We obviously need a law to ban rude teachers
Followed by a law to jail rude parentts/those who let their kids be rude to adults/ those who take their children on holiday during term time 'because it's still edukation, innit?'

BabyR · 10/10/2024 08:03

I have been a parent for 15 years so I known exactly what you mean. They’re so miserable except for the odd ones.

We had two teachers bullying my child and they were caught out doing it by other staff. I think the power of being in charge went to their heads.

Inspireme2 · 10/10/2024 08:04

Threelittleduck · 10/10/2024 07:22

Probably frowning and stressed because it's a thankless job with a huge amount of stress. And is it really that awful if they just ask you a question?

Teachers choose to teach..
Find another job.
You get more hoildays than the rest of the work force!

IceCreamIsTheDream · 10/10/2024 08:04

OP, sorry everyone has jumped in!

The replies on this thread are quite blunt and some quite rude. Maybe people who are this way don't see these traits in themself or others and feel defensive. I don't really know why everyone's piled in, but you've been perfectly polite.

Mumsnet is notorious for teacher defending. I think there are lots of teachers on here and lots of pta people and parents of school-age kids who are v grateful for their particular children's teachers. So Mumsnet can b a bit hostile to anyone who does not see teachers as gods.

I think maybe you've been unlucky with the schools you've visited. I guess too that it's the rude teachers you'll notice (the nice ones aren't bothering you, they are doing clubs with the kids or busy elsewhere).

I don't think it's you that's the problem. You have had bad experiences with teachers and it's fair enough to question it and not to like it. However, like in all professions there are some rude teachers (I've met plenty. MIL is one example of a v rude and overbearing teacher), but there are lots of great ones too (some of whom I am very lucky to have teaching my children).

Sorry you've had bad experiences with teachers in the schools you've visited. It's a shame these teachers will.be.modelling.poornbehqviour to the young people in the schools. Just ignore the pile on :(

Cosyblankets · 10/10/2024 08:05

Inspireme2 · 10/10/2024 08:04

Teachers choose to teach..
Find another job.
You get more hoildays than the rest of the work force!

Show quote history

This is exactly what I did.

I left.
Along with numerous others.
The working conditions are the reason we have a recruitment and retention crisis.

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 10/10/2024 08:06

Poor teachers. They work really hard and most I've encountered at my DCs' school are wonderful, very friendly and kind.

Here you are, moaning about them being rude, when all you're being in this thread is exactly that. Funny how your behaviour is reflected back at you....

Silverbook · 10/10/2024 08:10

I think you are absolutely right OP.

The entire teacher profession is rude. All of them. In every school and at every level. It’s myth that teaching is a vocation generally attracting nurturing individuals. They are rude.

You, being naturally smiley, friendly and an all round good egg spend your time online providing the service of alerting us all to this. Hero.

BlackToes · 10/10/2024 08:12

There are many nice teachers and also arsehole teachers. However schools are regularly a dog eat dog type of place and dynamics can reflect this. A lot of what goes on would not be tolerated in adult work places, the shouting, the violence, intimidation,

Gogogo12345 · 10/10/2024 08:13

HarrietTheFireStarter · 10/10/2024 07:57

I find teachers as a cohort bossy and arrogant. The God complex thing. There are some nice ones with manners but there are a disproportionate number of bloody awful ones.

Maybe it's that bossy arrogant people like to become teachers. A girl who was at school with my eldest DD was very like this. Also involved in the church youth clubs and used to like to pick on my younger DD ( because officially was 6 weeks young for the group) and this girl rule obsessed.

When she grew up she became a teacher. First in a private school then in China. Still bossy and arrogant to this day

BlackOrangeFrog · 10/10/2024 08:13

BabyR · 10/10/2024 08:03

I have been a parent for 15 years so I known exactly what you mean. They’re so miserable except for the odd ones.

We had two teachers bullying my child and they were caught out doing it by other staff. I think the power of being in charge went to their heads.

So 2 teachers out approximately 640,000 teachers... Definitely a representative example.

MILLYmo0se · 10/10/2024 08:14

Where are you having these conversations about troubling incidents etc? I had assumed you meant you were just in hallways so could understand people jumping in to ask a question, but by sounds of that you are presumably having these conversations in a room with the door closed, so are teachers just bursting in to interrupt?

SoupDragon · 10/10/2024 08:15

BabyR · 10/10/2024 08:03

I have been a parent for 15 years so I known exactly what you mean. They’re so miserable except for the odd ones.

We had two teachers bullying my child and they were caught out doing it by other staff. I think the power of being in charge went to their heads.

I was in the school years for 20 years over 3 children and never came across miserable, bullying teachers.

GoldyHorn · 10/10/2024 08:17

Teachers choose to teach..
Find another job.
You get more hoildays than the rest of the work force!

I've done this, found another job. I only work part time now to earn the same that I was earning when I was a teacher so the holidays are easily balanced out by that.

MrsMitford3 · 10/10/2024 08:19

I'm not going to let my teenage years cloud my judgement

Interesting sentence in first post-I think that is exactly what you are doing.

Think this is all you @Van34

Fizbosshoes · 10/10/2024 08:26

Some people are unfortunately rude
Some of them might be teachers, there will be some crossover.....but quite ridiculous to say they all are.
(I know several teachers socially IRL and none of them are rude or unpleasant, and in 14 years of having kids at school I can only think of one who I found unpleasant)

CrushingOnRubies · 10/10/2024 08:26

Not as bad as what op is describing

And it's not as bad but when I first started as being a member of support staff in a school, there was very much an upstairs downstairs attitude.

Some teachers can still be like this

LovingCritic · 10/10/2024 08:28

Van34 · 10/10/2024 07:34

It's a complicated job, but the teams I visit I do not directly supervise. Cleaning supervisor was a bad example... I actually work for a different company so they wouldn't know who I was. I am by nature, a very friendly smiley person and have never encountered this in any other public sector area.

Agree that there are some schools that are worse than others. And it's unfair to tar everyone with the same brush. But it is unfortunately, more common than not.

We were deep in conversation yesterday about a troubling incident to be rudely interrupted by a teacher (who didn't apologise) wanting to know if they could hang a flag off the railing... not exactly urgent or safeguarding information.

If you work for one of the big facilities management companies you will be viewed as the devil incarnate by teachers.

Thankfully my school still has its own superb estates and caretaking team, the one down the road is managed under a PFI contract by a facilities management company.

They scalp the tax payer, and us teachers know this - so anyone associated will get short shrift from me.

Malaguena123 · 10/10/2024 08:36

Inspireme2 · 10/10/2024 08:04

Teachers choose to teach..
Find another job.
You get more hoildays than the rest of the work force!

Show quote history

When you work 60 hours a week, it's less like holiday, more likeTOIL!

greenday16B · 10/10/2024 08:36

When you step away from this type of work environment , you realise how wrong it all is. Not to have time to go to the toilet all day, not to have time to decompress for half and hour and eat a sandwich. People have forgotten how to behave. No Good Mornings or Have a nice weekend.

Teachers are no more rude than anybody else.