Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

It is ALWAYS at the managers discretion and I chose to allow persons shopping in my low budget supermarket to use our facilities accompanied by staff.
Nothing to do with insurance

As someone who has zero bladder control I wanted to send sympathy, it's bloody horrible when you get caught short. I was recently in a job centre with my son and suddenly needed the loo and the man who was helping us made a unilateral decision to let me use the staff toilet. I think they could have shown you a little kindness, OP.

No fuck them honestly.
Insurance, policy whatever, they should have let you use it it's just human decency.
I had similar with my 90yr old grandmother, it's inhumane and they should be ashamed and I will die on this hill!

I hope you want on their floor and they had to clean it up.

It is not always managers discretion without any caveats, if they're choosing to go against policy that's their choice and their job- it doesn't mean it doesn't exist or that other members of staff should override it. In this situation the member of staff calling the manager and waiting for a response would no doubt still have been no use. It depends on the layout as well, I worked in several when I was younger and most the toilets were through stock rooms, up stairs and past staff lockers etc and we wouldn't have usually had any free to accompany.

I really feel for you OP but this post hit home with me. We had a very similar situation at an old job of mine and my lovely colleague had her handbag stolen by someone 'desparate to use the toilet' 😔

And if they got fired and couldn't provide for their kids? They've nothing to be ashamed about. You could argue the business needs to change their policy, but don't blame the poor staff who are just trying to keep their livelihoods.

Of course if you are opening your shop to the public then you should try and make reasonable accommodations for your customers.

You are literally inviting them in to buy your stock!! Therefore you make efforts to ensure it’s a safe place, and a welcoming environment.

Why isn't basic sanitary provision considered to be part of that?

Disability access laws should be extended to include lavatories and access for dc under five, those with chronic conditions, the elderly and pregnant women imho.

This is the reason they should be accompanied, it's probably why people cite "insurance" to decline the use of their facilities.

Wow I am in shock at the lack of empathy shown by posters.. Im so sorry OP, that must have been horrible. Personally I dont think YABU. What happened to policemen allowing pregnant women to pee in their helmets (I am aware this is probably not true before anyone comes for me)! I thought it was a universal kindness to let pregnant women go to the loo if they needed it...

It's a shop. Not a bar or restaurant. Just because you bought a loaf of bread doesn't give you the right to use the toilet.

As has been mentioned numerous times on this thread, allowing members of the public to use toilets will require someone to escort them there. In smaller shops, there might only be one staff member on duty, so that will require them either closing the shop or risking theft. Also, toilets used by the public need to be cleaned and this costs money, which could be significant for a smaller business.

If you live in a busy street, maybe you could put a note in the window inviting strangers in your categories to use your facilities?

Too many people abuse that kindness. They take drugs in the toilet, steal from the staff, fall over and sue the owner as thanks for their kindness. The only solution is to make more public toilets available.

So, often stores are doing what they can to be kind to their staff, ensuring they don't have to deal with all of the above!

Absolutely yes and we need to extend that kindness to postal and delivery workers who have to work all day without proper facilities. It is inhuman and harks back to Dickensian times when basic workers rights were ignored.

I manage a couple of shops, and let a pregnant lady use the toilet as know what the urge is like. This was out of kindness even though public loos were minutes away. Next thing I know shes going through stock at height and pulling bits down from shelves. She could of really injured herself and I was fuming, I would of then been blamed for the accident. Hence won't ever do again, and that's coming from a very sympathetic over active bladder sufferer!!

It all depends on what staff are available though.

Christ there’s some lovely folks out at the moment - so sorry this happened @pelvicfloorisnomore.

I run a charity shop and we aren’t supposed to let folks access our behind the scenes. The staff toilet, is right next to where we have our bags and coats - but I have escorted folks through to it and just loitered nearby to escort them back. I also always inform staff if I’m letting anyone into the area so they can grab a bag or coat and move them. But I have more freedom to decide that then some national organisations minimum wage staff do.

I just feel a little compassion could have helped in this situation.

Many many years ago I was in a similar situation in a Woolworths. And the staff there escorted me and loitered and took me back to the shop floor. Might be worth writing to the store and explaining how upset you are etc and that could staff be allowed to judge things on a case by case basis.

The other factor is - how many staff are around - as they can’t leave shop floor empty?

anyways - sorry it happened - not your fault.

Posters keep saying a shop asst would be sacked.

Where is the actual legal evidence for this?
I'd like to see it.

What are the grounds?
Professional misconduct?

It's very hard to sack anyone now as they usually need a verbal and written warning unless they are doing something extreme.

How do you know "they definitely wouldn't let people back if it was direct to the drugs" If someone has a medical need for the toilet and they are accompanied, they absolutely do.

You keep stating things as fact when you have no idea what is and isn't included in insurance. If they have a choice about what sort of insurance to have, why would any company put themselves in a position where they didn't have insurance if a member of the public used the toilet?

I feel you OP, was once experiencing a medical emergency, peeing blood, throwing up due to a kidney infection on the side of a motorway, the garage in services wouldn’t let me use the toilet - I was utterly desperate.

Maybe they never would be, but it's the threat of it, isn't it? If you're told under no circumstances to allow something, and you're worried about your job, you'll just do what you're told.

I used to live near a school and once or twice when the main facilities were closed, and the school was being used for a private function, I actually did let the odd desperate mother and child in to use my loo which was handily by the front door!

I’m not stupid and I am aware of all of those obstacles but I am arguing that legislation should change to regulate the provision of public and private facilities.

People don’t visit food shops for pleasure usually; they serve a basic human need. And going to the loo is a basic human need also.

Legislation currently exists to regulate how many fast food and fried chicken outlets are allowed to open around certain schools. I am sure the same strategy could be applied in reverse to lavatories IF government actors actually considered basic human civility to be as important as making a profit!

And most of us would probably agree with that, but it's not yet in place, so the staff who refused OP are not to blame.

@wombat15

You keep stating things as fact when you have no idea what is and isn't included in insurance.

Aren't you doing exactly the same thing?

The staff may not be to blame but all of the posters pedantically supporting the policy argument are adding to the problem which will only change if there is sufficient public outrage and lobbying!

I'm not sure what 'pleasure' has to do with anything, and I still disagree with the idea that just because a business is open to the public requires it to provide toilet facilities to the public. Having toilets open to anyone who buys a Mars Bar is going to be logistically very difficult and expensive for small businesses. Are you prepared to pay higher prices to subsidise these toilets?

All insurance policies are different, but it really isn't unusual for them to cover certain areas for the public and certain areas staff only. It really isn't. Who knows what kind of policy this particular Co-Op has.