Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

I don't think most people are doing that. I think most people are supporting the staff. I'm definitely starting to think we should set up a national campaign though. It really is a feminist issue when you think about it.

I am so sorry that this happened OP. Not at all nice, and the lack of public loos makes life very difficult, but especially for women.

just to reconfirm, the pregnant women peeing in policemen's helmets, or having a policeman's coat round them while peeing, are both myths.

However, a certain amount of discretion is given to the police when it comes to the offence of urinating in a public place, so, if caught short, it might be somewhat reassuring to know that.

Pads and/or a Sheewee or similar sound like good ideas.

The thing is, if they let you and then another customer hears and then they ask what then? You say you’re pregnant, they say they are old. Do you see what I mean? Lack of public toilets is a major issue but it’s not the coop’s fault.

No, I do have an idea. I worked in many chemist shops and other shops over the years and certainly have let people use the toilets if they have a medical need. Obviously they need to be accompanied so they don't steal stuff but that's nothing to do with insurance.

Currently, if someone has been employed for less than two years you can sack them for no reason at all, subject to very limited exceptions (eg you can’t sack people because of race/disability, trade union membership and the like). You don’t have to follow any particular procedure, you just have to pay them out their notice period.

So actually it’s pretty easy to sack someone (and yes, IAAL).

Even if someone has been employed for 2+ years, then if staff have been told they must not allow the pubic to use the toilets in any circumstances but go ahead, this would constitute failure to comply with a reasonable and lawful direction. This will usually amount to either* *repudiation of the contract of employment (meaning the employer can treat it at an end and sack the employee), or a valid reason for dismissal within the unfair dismissal jurisdiction (ditto).

Whether the employee would have an argument that the rule was not reasonable in the circumstances I don’t know, but honestly: why should the employee be expected to take the risk in arguing that and losing?

The situation sucks, I really feel for OP but that does not mean the shop staff were in any way unreasonable.

I didn't say she couldn't whinge?

I have merely asked, as op had mentioned Co op's standards etc whether she had let them know at head office. Which op clearly doesn't want to say hasn't.

Pathetic yourself.

Would the school not let you use their loo?

And thankfully they didn't as she would of pissed on the floor in their instead. Just what you want on your lunch break eating a sandwich in the staff room and a random woman comes in and pisses on the floor

You have my sympathies OP.

To the PPs suggesting a she wee, where the hell do you propose OP uses it? No way would I use a she wee in a public place, not even in an obscured corner. Sheesh.

@wombat15

Have you worked for the Co - op in a managerial role in the last few months?
If not you don't know what their insurance policy says.

Have you worked for the Co - op in a managerial role in the last few months?

This is a bit sad. I always know where all the public toilets are, pubs, even places with bushes

"When I worked retail, I wasn't not allowed to "bend the rules", ever. I would have lost my job if found out. Sorry, but that's not a chance I was going to take, nor is it something I would expect from a shop staff as a customer"

To be honest I would be happy losing that job on principle if they had that attitude.

We don't have public toilets in our place where I work, but today manager made exception for a father and tiny toddler. The same place made exception for me once too - not a shop and not sure what the policies are. We would do exception for a pregnant lady, because we have actually more than 50 toilets

Well good for you. Presumably you don't have bills to pay and children to feed.

We've gone backwards and are very close to there being another urinary leash imposed on women, particularly in situations such as that encountered by the originator of this post. The real issue is the lack of public toilets, something that impacts more on women but something we should all be concerned about. Security, insurance and accountability means that just because there may be a toilet close by, doesn't mean it is for the public to use and sadly too many facilites get abused, or the staff would have to clean them up, so understandable they are not for the general publics use. There used to be a great many more public toilets and, I'd argue, that too many councils rely on someone other than themselves providing facilities. Yes, I know money is tight, but surely toilets are an essential in our society, aren't they?

Are we rolling backwards?
https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/History-of-Womens-Public-Toilets-in-Britain/

@wombat15
*
Have you worked for the Co - op in a managerial role in the last few months?*

No but I'm not claiming to know what their policies are.
Unlike you.

You are nearly 2 decades to late with your campaign.

Exactly

Even within the workplace, staff aren't all allowed everywhere in some places

If they haven't had sufficient training or aren't wearing the prescribed safety ware or have had an incident in the past which caused an issue there then they won't be allowed in under the fact insurance will pull them up if there's an issue

We should have more public toilets

this

and can someone show me where the insurance states that customers needing the loo are not allowed to use it? Where is it in the policy?

Surely its more effort to clear up urine from the shop floor

It's also not a "feminist" issue that there aren't enough public toilets.

Whilst pregnancy and periods are a "female" issue, incontinence/Crohns etc is universal and prostrate issues are a "male" issue which can require the toilet more often

Women need more public toilets.

Keeping them clean and safe is a nightmare. So we need concerted political effort to solve this problem not just as an acceptable that that's life.

If society cared more about women then this problem would be on the agenda in a much bigger way.

Look up the urinary leash. But yes, more toilets for all!

It’s not about effort, it’s about safety and security. Only certain people allowed on certain areas etc.